Customer Reviews

From Forgiven to Forgiving: Learning to Forgive One Another God's Way

5 star:		(11)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

Forgiveness is absolutely essential to a healthy Christian life. Unfortunately, many Christians today adhere to an unbiblical concept regarding what it means to forgive, and what a Christian's responsibilities are in terms of forgiveness.

Christians are often condemned by fellow believers when they dare to express hurt or anger about wrongs which have been committed against them in the past. Frequently, the kneejerk response to such people is to preach a judgmental sermon about how they need to forgive. Such a response is often like rubbing salt into an open wound.

In the name of "wisdom," the church is guilty of failing to show compassion to those who are hurting. A large part of the blame for that lack of compassion can be assigned to the erroneous belief that Christians should never confront those who have caused them harm, nor should they tell others about the harmful things which have been done to them. This, despite the fact that the scriptures clearly tell us to confront wrongdoers, and to tell others about their wrongdoing if and when those wrongdoers refuse to repent. Such confrontation is not antithetical to true biblical forgiveness. Those who insist that it is are often motivated by a selfish desire to avoid dealing with real conflicts in need of real resolution. Since they turn a deaf ear to the burdens of others, such Christians cannot fulfill their Biblical obligation to bear one another's burdens.

Jay Adams and James Kennedy have done an enormous service to the church by illuminating the following truths regarding true Biblical forgiveness:

a.) Forgiveness is not something which is done for the sake of offering "healing" or "therapy" for the forgiver. (It may have that effect, but that is not its primary purpose.) It is done for the sake of restoring broken relationships. If it does not result in the restoration of trust in those relationships, it is not true forgiveness.

b.) While God's love for us is unconditional, His forgiveness is not. This in no way negates the fact that forgiveness is a manifestation of God's grace and mercy. We cannot earn salvation, but the fact remains that we must do certain things in order to receive it. Specifically, we must humbly ask for it.

The Bible makes it plain that our forgiveness of others is to be modeled after God's forgiveness of us. Hence, since God's forgiveness of us is conditional, so also our forgiveness of others should be conditional. Just as those who are too proud to ask God for His forgiveness cannot expect to receive that forgiveness, so also those who sin against others and refuse to acknowledge their wrongdoing cannot expect to be forgiven by those against whom they have sinned.

However, God is always willing to forgive anyone who sincerely asks for that forgiveness. Hence, we must always be open to reconciliation, and willing to forgive those who ask for forgiveness.

It is unfortunate that so many people, including many prominent born-again Christians, have been seduced by new age ideas regarding the nature of Biblical forgiveness. "From Forgiven to Forgiving" should be required reading for all pastors --- and for all Christians, for that matter.

God forgives us conditionally, upon our repentance. God does not hold us to a higher standard than he holds himself. We forgive others in the same way God forgives us.

The authors do a fine job of discussing the many questions raised in our minds about forgiveness, and they look at the whole of Scripture to find answers. Unlike some books based more on pop psychology, this book is true to the Word. God's way is a lot more freeing than the "pretend you've forgiven when you haven't in the name of love" approach often advocated today. The best book I've found on forgiveness.

As a pastor of 22 years, I have preached and counseled these principles. Guilty consciences have been relieved and offenders have truly repented and became willing to re-establish credibility. American evangelicalism needs this book! A must for anyone who ministers to people--including dedicated laymen.

In this recently republished book, Jay Adams -- the father of "nouthetic counseling" -- explores all dimensions of the process of forgiveness. The reader will gain a practical understanding of biblical forgiveness from beginning to end.

The publishers introduce this book by asking us what the following statements about forgiveness have in common:

"Forgiveness is obtained through apologizing."

"The best thing you can do is forgive and forget."

"You aren't forgiven until you feel forgiven."

"Even if someone hasn't asked to be forgiven, you can still forgive them."

Their answer? These statements represent popular misconceptions about true biblical forgiveness. They could not be more right. Today's Christian culture has imbibed unbiblical and "worldly" notions about forgiveness. The result: our fellowships and relationships with others are marked by superficiality, avoidance, and "denial." We simply don't deal with things. (And many are taught so!)

Jay Adams offers excellent biblical driectives here -- real help for real people in real situations. Some of the topics addressed:

-- What is forgiveness?

-- How forgiveness is condition

-- Forgiveness after forgiveness

-- When you are the offender

-- What about unbelievers?

-- Dangerous shortcuts, ploys, & evasions

-- The horizontal & vertical dimensions

-- Continuing consequences

The Bottom Line: This book, now back in print due to ongoing demand, presents the Bible's simple prescription for dealing with the vital subject of forgiveness. Every Christian, particularly those who counsel others, ought to read, digest, and then practice the principles Dr. Adams sets forth here.

This is a must read.

This is the very best book I have ever read about forgiveness. For years I stuggled with forgiving people who did not think they needed forgiveness or who would not ask. I did not see anywhere in scripture that I must forgive before others ask for forgiveness. Finally, Jay Adams writes a book that reveals everything I believe God tells us about how we are to forgive.

Every pastor and church leader should read this book. I have not met a pastor yet who teaches the things Jay Adams reveals in this book. True forgiveness is powerful and must not be given lightly. Few people understand this. True forgiveness does bring healing, but few people understand how to get or give true forgiveness. This is a MUST read book for every Christian, even if you have read every book available on this topic. If you want justice and true reconciliation but have been told you are unloving and unforgiving, read this book. I finally have peace knowing that I do not stand alone in my beliefs about godly forgiveness.

This is the very best book I have ever read about forgiveness. For years I stuggled with forgiving people who did not think they needed forgiveness or who would not ask. I did not see anywhere in scripture that I must forgive before others ask for forgiveness. Finally, Jay Adams writes a book that reveals everything I believe God tells us about how we are to forgive.

Every pastor and church leader should read this book. I have not met a pastor yet who teaches the things Jay Adams reveals in this book. True forgiveness is powerful and must not be given lightly. Few people understand this. True forgiveness does bring healing, but few people understand how to get or give true forgiveness. This is a MUST read book for every Christian, even if you have read every book available on this topic. If you want justice and true reconciliation but have been told you are unloving and unforgiving, read this book. I finally have peace knowing that I do not stand alone in my beliefs about godly forgiveness.

Forgiveness is an essential component of the Christian faith, not only in terms of God's forgiveness of our sins, but also in terms of our willingness to forgive others who hurt us. That much is clear from the Lord's prayer and many other scriptures.

Unfortunately, however, a lot of Christians distort scriptural teachings about forgiveness in a way which has the effect of preventing Christians from holding one another accountable for the sins they commit.

There is no doubt that we are required, as Christians, to love one another unconditionally. Unconditional forgiveness, on the other hand, is unbiblical.

God, after all, loves all human beings, even those who blatantly disregard God's laws. It was on account of God's infinite love that He sent Jesus to die for us on the cross.

God's love is unconditional. But God's forgiveness is conditional. And since our forgiveness of others who sin against us is supposed to be modeled on God's forgiveness of us, it therefore follows that our forgiveness of others should likewise be conditional.

It is true that God has made provision for every human being to be forgiven. But making provision for forgiveness, and forgiving, are two different things.

If God forgave every human being, there would be no Hell. Like it or not, though, Hell does exist. The only way to believe otherwise is to ignore or dismiss large portions of the Bible.

If God forgave everyone unconditionally, then it would be accurate to say that substantial numbers of people were destined to go to Hell, even though God had forgiven them! That makes no sense at all! Forgiveness is worthless if it does not alter the way in which the person who has been forgiven is treated.

When people are taught that they are responsible for forgiving people unconditionally, regardless of whether or not the people they forgive have repented or even acknowledged wrongdoing, it has the effect of making it impossible to hold people accountable for their actions. Yet, there are scriptures which make it clear that we are responsible for confronting offenders with their sins, and those scriptures make it equally clear that their responses to such confrontations are very relevant to how we ought to continue to treat them in the future.

I can't help but think that one of the main causes of various church-related scandals, such as the scandal involving sexually abusive Catholic priests, is our naive willingness to forgive people who have furnished us with no indication of their repentance or contrition. When people are forgiven unconditionally, despite their unwillingness to acknowledge wrongdoing, they have no incentive to repent, so the consequence is often that such people continue to commit similar sins. So there is a definite sense in which unconditional forgiveness has the effect of encouraging people to sin against one another and abuse one another.

By definition, any church doctrine which has the effect of encouraging or condoning sin is a heretical doctrine.

In my opinion, Jay Adams' book makes an enormous contribution to discussions on the subject of forgiveness. I highly recommend the book to every Christian.

There are multitude of books being written for Christians today on the subject of forgiveness. The thing that will impress you as you read this book is the care of the author to keep everything biblically sound. Jay raises some issues about forgiveness that you will wrestle with for a while before giving into the clear doctrine presented. Issues like "can a believer forgive a non-believer" and "can a non-believer forgive at all?" A very close examination is made of exactly what does God do when He forgives. The undoctrinal views of forgive and forget are clearly dismantled in the light of Scripture. Dr. Eddie Egbert / Victory Baptist Church, Pastor / Indiana Baptist Bible Fellowship, Chairman / Certified N.A.N.C. Counsellor

I have been attending Evangelical Christian churches for many years and have never heard anyone teach the aspects of forgiveness from a true Biblical perspective. Jay E. Adams gives so many different situations that all ages can benefit from this work, which I suspect will become a Christian classic. It awakened me to the distortions of forgiveness and forgiving, many of which I had previously accepted. It has blessed my life and and my relationships. It deserves 5+ stars.

Having just finished reading this helpful work on forgiveness, I can attest that it clarifies many difficulties that modernity has caused in viewing the problems of sin, personal offenses, and reconciliation. I certainly did not agree with everything he wrote--he distinguishes punishment of sin from ongoing consequences in a way I don't believe the Bible teaches--but overall he has written a very straightforward, helpful book. The chapters are brief, the language is easily understood, and his thoughts progress in a logical fashion. Recommended.

I've read this book several times. First, I highly recommend this book. Second it challenged me to look at exactly what forgiveness means and what it requires. Each time I read this book, I come away with both conviction and thankfulness.

I did quite a bit of study with Dr. Adams and again with Dr. John Green specific to this book and it is worth the time and study.

This is a must have book for every Christian Library.