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Forgiveness is a Choice: A Step-by-Step Process for Resolving Anger and Restoring Hope Hardcover – January 1, 2001
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"1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12"
Parenting tools to use in virtually every situation, from internationally renowned clinical psychologist Thomas Phelan. Learn more.
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From Library Journal
Copyright 2001 Reed Business Information, Inc.
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Top Customer Reviews
The book deals a lot with the overall process of forgiveness and there are very specific journal exercises one must do throughout the book. I diligently did all the writing exercises, even though I thought some of the questions were repetitive. And in doing so, you really get to the root of what you are feeling and how to deal with all the emotions you have.
Almost two years later, having completely forgiven the person who hurt me the most, I went back and read those writing exercises. I could literally see the progress over time, how my perspective and feelings changed as I came to terms with what happened, and slowly but surely forgave and moved on. Since there are a lot of writing exercises to work through, this book requires time and patience to complete. But then again, forgiving a deep hurt requires a lot of patience. I recommend.
Enright is not a person talking in terms of one who has been there and done that, nor does he speak in a condescending tone which implies, "this worked for me, so this will work for everyone." "Forgiveness is a Choice" is written by a professional who is both a psychologist and professor. An unforgiving person can be a difficult, over-bearing, often impossible person do live with on a day-to-day basis. The biggest challenge may be to get them to read the book in the first place, but if you do, the excellent advice found here is bound to hit home and could well begin the healing process. The book is most deserving of a five-star rating and highly recommended.
The examples he uses are realistic and constructive, everything from children of divorced parents to parents of murdered children. Most of the examples show how the person felt during the different stages of forgiving.
Although Enright does mention God and even suggests journaling your belief, he doesn't emphasize that God can help us walk through the forgiveness process. That would be my only criticism.
If you really want to get over your anger, this book would help you go a long way toward your goal.
Pros: The writing was fairly clear and concise. Enright provides many relevant examples throughout the book. The exercises promote thought and reflection with well-defined guidelines.
Cons: Ultimately, I felt the topic was not addressed adequately. The majority of the text focused on choosing forgiveness (hence the title) as an option to reduce depression and anxiety. Most of the exercises explored feelings of shame and guilt as associated with anger. After estimating the amount of energy devoted to angers and frustrations, readers are asked to consider forgiveness as a means to reduce their angers/frustrations.
Example: One of the exercises asked me to rate the strength of my feelings including anger, shame, etc. It also asked me to rate the strength of my feelings towards acceptance and forgiveness. While we are asked to rate the strength of our feelings, there is no guidance regarding the transformation of negative emotions (e.g. anger, shame) towards positive actions (e.g. acceptance, forgiveness).
Overall: All too much of this book is spent trying to convince the reader that forgiveness is a feasible, agreeable option. Far too little is spent on the actual process of "release" (i.e., forgiveness). I felt it was too general to be truly helpful. For myself, the book "Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames" by Thich Nhat Hanh was much more helpful regarding the transformation of anger.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
I have been using this book in my workshop for 4 years and believe very strongly in the process this book offers.Published 5 months ago by David Burns
Enbright is fabulous, I watched the documentary at the Sundance two years ago when I started graduate school, his concepts around forgiveness are inline with my belief system and I... Read morePublished 6 months ago by Fire Daniels
I really enjoyed this book. It is straight forward, practical, well organized and direct. Everything I want in a self-help book. Read morePublished 9 months ago by John H Watson
I would recommend this book to anyone that has been wronged and desires to forgive and move on with a more positive outlook on life. ThxPublished 11 months ago by Jim V.