Forgiveness Is a Choice: A Step-By-Step Process for Resolving Anger and Restoring Hope (Apa Lifetools) [Hardcover]

Robert D. Enright (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: May 2001 | Series: Apa Lifetools

Forgiveness Is a Choice is a self-help book for people who have been deeply hurt by another and caught in a vortex of anger, depression, and resentment. As a creator of the first scientifically proven forgiveness program in the country, Robert D. Enright shows how forgiveness can reduce anxiety and depression while increasing self-esteem and hopefulness toward one's future. This groundbreaking work demonstrates how forgiveness, approached in the correct manner, benefits the forgiver far more than the forgiven. Filled with wisdom and warm encouragement, the book leads the reader on a path that will bring clarity and peace. Enright is careful to distinguish forgiveness from "pseudoforgiveness" and to reassure readers that forgiveness does not mean accepting continued abuse or even reconciling with the offender. Rather, by giving the gift of forgiveness, readers are encouraged to confront and let go of their pain in order to regain their lives.

Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

According to the results of the Human Development Study Group at the University of Madison, WI, forgiveness leads to improved physical and mental health as well as better relationships. This practical, nonsectarian, self-directed guide is deeply rooted in that study, of which educational psychologist Enright was a leader. Unlike other books on forgiveness (e.g., the writings of Lewis B. Smedes and Philip Yancey), this work doesn't cater to the casual reader seeking hints for self-improvement; Enright's readers must be committed and immerse themselves in the four stages of self-discovery uncovering anger, deciding to forgive, working on forgiveness, and discovery and release. Stressing that the process of forgiveness is different for each person, Enright advises flexibility, discourages the premature setting of specific goals, and encourages readers to draw on the support of a friend or therapist as they work through the phases. This debut title of the American Psychological Association's new trade imprint, APA LifeTools, is highly recommended. Lucille M. Boone, San Jose P.L., CA
Copyright 2001 Reed Business Information, Inc.

About the Author

Robert D. Enright, PhD, is a licensed psychologist and professor of psychology at the University of Wisconsin, Madison. He is the author of more than 80 publications and has been a leader in the scientific study of forgiveness and its effects since 1985. His work on the subject has appeared in Time, McCall’s, the Wall Street Journal, the Washington Post, the Chicago Tribune, and the Los Angeles Times. He has appeared on ABC ’s 20/20 NBC ’s Nightly News and many other television and radio shows.

Product Details

• Hardcover: 299 pages
• Publisher: Amer Psychological Assn; 1 edition (May 2001)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1557987572
• ISBN-13: 978-1557987570
• Product Dimensions: 8.8 x 5.8 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (28 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #9,742 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #19 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Mental Health > Abuse & Self Defense > Sexual Abuse
  • #22 in Books > Self-Help > Abuse
  • #49 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Mental Health > Emotions

More About the Author

Robert D. Enright is professor in the Educational Psychology Department at the University of Wisconsin, Madison. He is president of the International Forgiveness Institute at UWMadison, has lectured across the country, and has appeared on ABC News 20/20.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

57 of 59 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The Best Forgiveness Book on the Market, September 29, 2006

By 

Belfast Girl "Belfast" (Midwest USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Forgiveness Is a Choice: A Step-By-Step Process for Resolving Anger and Restoring Hope (Apa Lifetools) (Hardcover)

I received the Ph.D. degree in one of the most research-oriented universities in the country. Therefore, any time an author purports to have discovered a new and effective program, I tend to ask, "Has this program been scientifically tested?" Most "self-help" books are based on impressions and opinions only, not science. This book, however, is the grand exception. Forgiveness Is a Choice is based on years of research into how people forgive. The research is strong and the results also strong. I gave this book as a gift to a friend who had a very serious break up with someone years ago. After reading the book, she decided to take the risk of forgiving and reconciling with the other person from whom she was estranged for years. The book provided the necessary help to get the reconciliation process started. My friend credits this book with the success. "I am sold on the power of forgiveness," she said. The reader is given systematic exercises in the forgiving process. You start with exploring the anger you have,then you turn to a decision to forgive, including a clear exposition of what forgiveness is and is not. Next, you are given cognitive/thinking tasks to aid your forgiving, followed by affective/feeling tasks. In the Discovery Phase of forgiving (the final phase of the forgiveness process), the reader learns a great deal about oneself, the other person, and relationships. The author's encouragement of the reader's journaling as a means of reflection is very useful. Although the author makes the point that forgiveness benefits the forgiver, he is clear that forgiveness itself is not at all a self-focused process. Instead, as the author notes, forgiveness is a moral process in which you reach out with compassion and understanding to the one who hurt you. This book has received much national attention. I read an article in USA Today favorably reporting on this book. I also caught the radio program, Talk of the Nation, on National Public Radio in which this book was featured. I highly recommend this thoughtful and helpful book.

62 of 65 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars THE ABILITY TO FORGIVE. - IT SETS THE SPIRIT FREE!, December 27, 2001

By 

Sandra D. Peters "Seagull Books" (Prince Edward Island, Canada) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Forgiveness Is a Choice: A Step-By-Step Process for Resolving Anger and Restoring Hope (Apa Lifetools) (Hardcover)

Sometimes we need to forgive ourselves, at other times we need to forgive others. Easier said that done - yes! However, each of us does posses the inate ability to forgive if we choose to make use of that special blessing. As a counsellor, I have counselled many victims of domestic violence, child abuse and family tragedies. It is important to remember one is not forgiving simply for the benefit of the person who has committed an injustice; one is forgiving as part of the process of healing. Only by coming to terms with the demons of the past can one truly heal and build a future. The reasons and means of forgiving are contained in this wonderful book.

Enright is not a person talking in terms of one who has been there and done that, nor does he speak in a condescending tone which implies, "this worked for me, so this will work for everyone." "Forgiveness is a Choice" is written by a professional who is both a psychologist and professor. An unforgiving person can be a difficult, over-bearing, often impossible person do live with on a day-to-day basis. The biggest challenge may be to get them to read the book in the first place, but if you do, the excellent advice found here is bound to hit home and could well begin the healing process. The book is most deserving of a five-star rating and highly recommended.

84 of 91 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Helpful Book, Really, April 2, 2002

By A Customer

This review is from: Forgiveness Is a Choice: A Step-By-Step Process for Resolving Anger and Restoring Hope (Apa Lifetools) (Hardcover)

I have read at least 30 books on forgiveness and have to say this one is in the top three. The process of forgiving is clearly outlined and you are gently encouraged to walk through it. Enright provides suggestions for journaling, including sending you back to reveiw your progress in the process.

The examples he uses are realistic and constructive, everything from children of divorced parents to parents of murdered children. Most of the examples show how the person felt during the different stages of forgiving.

Although Enright does mention God and even suggests journaling your belief, he doesn't emphasize that God can help us walk through the forgiveness process. That would be my only criticism.

If you really want to get over your anger, this book would help you go a long way toward your goal.