Forgiveness Is a Choice (APA Lifetools) [Hardcover]

Robert D. Enright (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 1, 2001 | Series: APA Lifetools

Forgiveness Is a Choice is a self-help book for people who have been deeply hurt by another and caught in a vortex of anger, depression, and resentment. As a creator of the first scientifically proven forgiveness program in the country, Robert D. Enright shows how forgiveness can reduce anxiety and depression while increasing self-esteem and hopefulness toward one's future. This groundbreaking work demonstrates how forgiveness, approached in the correct manner, benefits the forgiver far more than the forgiven. Filled with wisdom and warm encouragement, the book leads the reader on a path that will bring clarity and peace. Enright is careful to distinguish forgiveness from "pseudoforgiveness" and to reassure readers that forgiveness does not mean accepting continued abuse or even reconciling with the offender. Rather, by giving the gift of forgiveness, readers are encouraged to confront and let go of their pain in order to regain their lives.

Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

According to the results of the Human Development Study Group at the University of Madison, WI, forgiveness leads to improved physical and mental health as well as better relationships. This practical, nonsectarian, self-directed guide is deeply rooted in that study, of which educational psychologist Enright was a leader. Unlike other books on forgiveness (e.g., the writings of Lewis B. Smedes and Philip Yancey), this work doesn't cater to the casual reader seeking hints for self-improvement; Enright's readers must be committed and immerse themselves in the four stages of self-discovery uncovering anger, deciding to forgive, working on forgiveness, and discovery and release. Stressing that the process of forgiveness is different for each person, Enright advises flexibility, discourages the premature setting of specific goals, and encourages readers to draw on the support of a friend or therapist as they work through the phases. This debut title of the American Psychological Association's new trade imprint, APA LifeTools, is highly recommended. Lucille M. Boone, San Jose P.L., CA
Copyright 2001 Reed Business Information, Inc.

About the Author

Robert D. Enright, PhD, is a licensed psychologist and professor of psychology at the University of Wisconsin, Madison. He is the author of more than 80 publications and has been a leader in the scientific study of forgiveness and its effects since 1985. His work on the subject has appeared in Time, McCall’s, the Wall Street Journal, the Washington Post, the Chicago Tribune, and the Los Angeles Times. He has appeared on ABC ’s 20/20 NBC ’s Nightly News and many other television and radio shows.

Product Details

• Hardcover: 299 pages
• Publisher: American Psychological Association (APA); 1 edition (January 1, 2001)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1557987572
• ISBN-13: 978-1557987570
• Product Dimensions: 5.8 x 1 x 9.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (41 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #30,285 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #53 in Books > Self-Help > Abuse

More About the Author

Robert D. Enright is professor in the Educational Psychology Department at the University of Wisconsin, Madison. He is president of the International Forgiveness Institute at UWMadison, has lectured across the country, and has appeared on ABC News 20/20.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

67 of 70 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars THE ABILITY TO FORGIVE. - IT SETS THE SPIRIT FREE! December 27, 2001

By Sandra D. Peters

Format:Hardcover

Sometimes we need to forgive ourselves, at other times we need to forgive others. Easier said that done - yes! However, each of us does posses the inate ability to forgive if we choose to make use of that special blessing. As a counsellor, I have counselled many victims of domestic violence, child abuse and family tragedies. It is important to remember one is not forgiving simply for the benefit of the person who has committed an injustice; one is forgiving as part of the process of healing. Only by coming to terms with the demons of the past can one truly heal and build a future. The reasons and means of forgiving are contained in this wonderful book.

Enright is not a person talking in terms of one who has been there and done that, nor does he speak in a condescending tone which implies, "this worked for me, so this will work for everyone." "Forgiveness is a Choice" is written by a professional who is both a psychologist and professor. An unforgiving person can be a difficult, over-bearing, often impossible person do live with on a day-to-day basis. The biggest challenge may be to get them to read the book in the first place, but if you do, the excellent advice found here is bound to hit home and could well begin the healing process. The book is most deserving of a five-star rating and highly recommended.

96 of 103 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A Helpful Book, Really April 2, 2002

By A Customer

Format:Hardcover

I have read at least 30 books on forgiveness and have to say this one is in the top three. The process of forgiving is clearly outlined and you are gently encouraged to walk through it. Enright provides suggestions for journaling, including sending you back to reveiw your progress in the process.

The examples he uses are realistic and constructive, everything from children of divorced parents to parents of murdered children. Most of the examples show how the person felt during the different stages of forgiving.

Although Enright does mention God and even suggests journaling your belief, he doesn't emphasize that God can help us walk through the forgiveness process. That would be my only criticism.

If you really want to get over your anger, this book would help you go a long way toward your goal.

34 of 34 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars Worth a read April 4, 2007

By Seattle Reader 21

Format:Hardcover

After reading online reviews of multiple forgiveness books, I decided on this one when I was going through a traumatic time in my life. Since this is the only one I read, I have nothing to compare it to. But I read this book cover to cover and found it to be effective in my forgiveness journey.

The book deals a lot with the overall process of forgiveness and there are very specific journal exercises one must do throughout the book. I diligently did all the writing exercises, even though I thought some of the questions were repetitive. And in doing so, you really get to the root of what you are feeling and how to deal with all the emotions you have.

Almost two years later, having completely forgiven the person who hurt me the most, I went back and read those writing exercises. I could literally see the progress over time, how my perspective and feelings changed as I came to terms with what happened, and slowly but surely forgave and moved on. Since there are a lot of writing exercises to work through, this book requires time and patience to complete. But then again, forgiving a deep hurt requires a lot of patience. I recommend.