Customer Reviews

Forgiveness: How to Make Peace With Your Past and Get on With Your Life

5 star:		(13)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

I purchased this book on a wednesday and had it finished by sunday. I couldn't put it down, it had covered many of the feelings I was going through and it made me not feel so alone in my battle to get on with life. It has many techniques that I was reluctant at first to try, but I am glad I did. I honestly didn't realize I had issues with so many people rather they were big or small it didn't matter. They still hurt me regardless. I can accept that now. When the book sets the stage for all the phases you go through to reach forgivness I found myself a little bit in each one along the way.

I would highly recommend this book to anyone who is merely questioning what is causing or creating a certain feeling. It expounded on feelings that I had but could not describe adequatly enough to begin dealing with them.

Thank you to the authors.

This is an incredible book! Take the time to complete the exercises, you will not be sorry. Some of the tasks seemed mundane but when I was finished, I felt lighter. For me, this book was more effective that 5 years of psycho-therapy combined with anti-depressants. I have FINALLY achieved freedom from my childhood traumas!!

The author writes in a very clear and unpretentious manner. He simply states what is and what is necessary to heal. In a uncomplicated and genuine tone Dr. Simon makes you feel that there is hope and your aren't a bad person for being 'stuck'. I read the book as voraciously as I wouold have a novel finding compassion for myself as I read. It is very simply a great book.

I am currently on my third copy of this book. I have allowed many of my clients to read it, and in return they fall in love and keep it for themselves! I have seen clients use the concepts of this book, which in turn changes their lives for the better. A wonderful tool for any counselor!

This has to be the best information manual and transforming guide book out on the market.

I purchased this book several weeks ago and when doing so I knew I would be tested on what I have learned and it came to pass. When you are given information that is changing your inner spirit and ways of thinking and reacting the test always follows. And it did. In my christian upbringing I was always taught to forgive and forget, that was Gods way. This book plainly dispells that theory and provides a much more accurate revelation by instructing the opposite that is a wiser way of thinking than my previous knowledge.

On page 15: Forgiveness is not forgetting, By forgiving the people who hurt us, we do not erase painful past experiences from our memory.

Page 16: We cannot forget, nor should we. Those experiences, and even the pain they caused, have a great deal to teach us, both about not being victimized again and about not victimizing others.

These truths provided the best revelation to me as I realized in the past people have hurt me and been wrong and the people who recognized their mistake saying they were sorry or apologizing when I look back I do not even recall the indicent that occured. It was easily forgotten. However, the ones where those who caused an offense and did not apologize or somehow retracted their apology the incident remained vivid and clear. This phenominal revelation has set me free. A new understanding into my own spirit.

The book goes on to discuss what forgiveness is and what it is not such as:
Forgiveness in not condoning, or an absolution, or a form of self-sacrifice and it is certainly not a clear cut, one-time decision. Forgiveness is a by product of an ongoing healing process, it is internal, a sign of self-esteem. It is also letting go of intense emotions attached to incidents from our past.

Page 19: We still remember what happened, but we no longer feel intensely angry, frightened, bitter, resentful, or damaged because of it.

Unforgiveness creates a swirling dervish of complex inner turmoil that can guide a person throughout their entire life because they refuse to forgive others, I have seen these damaged people up close and personal and they are in constant turmoil always accusing everyone of being out to get them somehow. Always suspicious because of their own low or no self-esteem. This book is great help to those who want help and recognize their need for it.

The book goes on to say forgiveness is recognizing we no longer need to hold grudges, no longer need to punish the people who hurt us, it is accepting that nothing we do to punish them will heal us. It is freedom and moving on. It is something you do for you.

Chapter two explains in great detail about how and why we are hurt.
Disappointment, rejection

Page 29: Abandonment being simliar to rejection because it, too, breaks an emotional bond between us and the other person in our life, abandonment is a devastatingly painful experience...

Ridicule, humiliation, betrayal

Page 34: Like betrayal, deception damages your ability to trust. However, when you are decevied and lied to, you find it difficult not only to trust other people, but to trust your own judgement as well.

I could tell alot more but wanted to share some of the most valuable information on how the book is written and how it has helped me. It provided me with the ability to confront false accusers whereas before I would just cower and hide. I learned to stand up for me knowing I was right and they were wrong, I did not allow them to intimidate me as they had done in the past with their false accusations, cruelty and revengeful ways. I realized they do not possess the ability to forgive and may never, however I was able forgive and quickly. As Gods word says Isaiah 42:10

Fear not [there is nothing to fear], for I am with you; do not look around you in terror and be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen and harden you to difficulties, yes, I will help you; yes, I will hold you up and retain you with My [victorious] right hand of rightness and justice.

I am being hardened to those who are disingenuous and been able to stand up for me and tell the truth whether they ever get it or not. In the process they were exposed for their lies, false accusations and deceptions. They publically revealed their true character, immaturity, lack of knowledge and bad motives in the process.

This book has been tranformed my spirit to a higher level and equipped me with the most valuable information I have ever ingested. I highly recommend it to everyone because we all experience these same situations in our everyday life,

Accolades to the authors for not only sharing their own experiences to help others but for giving such infinite wisdom as well.

This is an incredible book! Take the time to complete the exercises, you will not be sorry. Some of the tasks seemed mundane but when I was finished, I felt lighter. For me, this book was more effective that 5 years of psycho-therapy combined with anti-depressants. I have FINALLY achieved freedom from my childhood traumas!!

I purchased three books on the subject of forgiveness: "Forgive and forget: healing the hurts we dont deserve", "From anger to forgiveness a practical guide to breaking the negative power of anger and achieving reconciliation", and "Forgiveness: how to make peace with your past and get on with your life".

Forgiveness: how to make peace with your past and get on with your life was by far the most helpful. It is the most practical and the most comprehensive of the three books I purchased. The book explains the what (forgiveness is), why (forgive and humans experience stumbling blocks), and also the how (to forgive).

I found from anger to forgiveness to be the second best. It had some good practical advice and steps, but did not go into the same level of detail that forgiveness did.

Forgive and forget was the least effective of the three books. It had very few practical steps or solutions. The book spoke at length about theory and did not ever arrive at practical conclusions or steps to take. The story in the very beginning was the closest the book ever came to defining the path to forgiveness.

This book is well written and it has given me a new perspective on forgiving. It has helped me understand the power of forgivness and why we forgive which was new to me. I now feel a new sense of freedom since reading this book. I highly recommend this book to anyone who feels stuck or wounded. I feel it has aided me in the gradual process of healing my wounds.

This book spoke to me. The author seemed to understand and have lived through so many similar life events. Then I bought copies for my friends. Even with their life experiences different then my own, the books message positively helped their self understanding also. I would recommend this book to anyone suffering from resentment.

My wife presented me this for Christmas. She knows I have issues. I know she meant well. So I forgive her.

Although the Forgiveness authors more often than not dispense wisdom, they also--probably unknowingly--suffer a serious blind spot. Suppose the unreconstructed predator in your life is a full-on psychopath? I'm afraid that the Simons would advise to return to the source of pain, again and again, until a fairy tale ending is achieved. I do not fault the intentions of the Simons. They're good enough. Naïveté suspected.

Their advice makes as much sense as returning to pet a rabid dog. Anyone with a lick of sense would advise not to do that. Because the outcome is predictable. A mad dog will maul you every time. Why not apply the same logic to a rabid person? Realistically, there is only one thing you can do: Stay away and/or get away, no matter how hard that may be.

One of the most helpful things I've ever heard about this is a short talk by Dr. Ochberg on YouTube. Take preemptive action. Protect yourself with knowledge and the need to forgive a transgressor might be avoided all together. Unfortunately, the Simons try to advise how to clean up damage. After it's too late.