Formerly a Wife: A Survival Guide for Women Facing the Pain and Disruption of Divorce [Paperback]

Welby A. O'Brien (Author)

Product Details

• Paperback: 232 pages
• Publisher: Horizon Books Publishers (September 1996)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 088965137X
• ISBN-13: 978-0889651371
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.2 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 7 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #717,873 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

51 of 51 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Fantastic woman to woman detail that every man must read!, September 23, 1998

By A Customer

This review is from: Formerly a Wife: A Survival Guide for Women Facing the Pain and Disruption of Divorce (Paperback)

The approach by O'Brien, who has a master's degree in counseling was to detail the process of divorce from a woman's perspective. She shows the pain and rejection, the anger and the effect of consequence of divorce.

O'Brien lures you in by starting soft, then pinning you to the wall with detailed accounts of hard hitting real life drama that we all relate to. You will cry with her and later share her triumphs.

This book is not a self centered portrait putting the author on center stage. Rather it is an eye opening account of the author's observation of experiences that prove common to most women. It is a selfless and very healing protrayel of the steps needed for survival. This is not a 'see the duckie' fuzzy kids story. This is an 'I was eaten by the bear ... and lived' horror story, that though tragic in reality then, leads the author to show what every woman must now do, just to keep on living.

The author leads into amazingly simple but maningful steps for every woman to take to regain her life, her self meaning, her physical and emotional well being.

I however am a man. This book had a different meaning to me. I also saw the tragedies caused by my own caulousness and the devastating effect that it had on my own ex wife. Yet I saw the common survival techniques were as valuable to me as a man as they were meant to be for the woman of divorce. I also related well to Ms. O'Briens unique observation of dealing with the painful emotional waves of marital seperation ... the FEEL, DEAL, HEAL approach. Too many others have just tried to help us make the pain go away, Ms. O'Brien shows us how to face off with and conquer it.

This book is destined to become a classic on the subject of divorce, and should be required reading for any one facing or recovering from divorce, and those guiding others through it.

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Helpful book on coping with divorce, February 17, 2003

By 

Tanja L. Walker "Tanja L. Walker" (Norman, OK USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Formerly a Wife: A Survival Guide for Women Facing the Pain and Disruption of Divorce (Paperback)

Welby O'Brien mixes in some great words of wisdom with stories of her own painful divorce to produce a helpful, easily-read guide for newly divorced Christian women. Her chapters on "the other woman" and "when he remarries" were especially helpful, as were chapters on how to deal with going back to work and taking on new responsibilities at home, and on dealing with the divorce in church. (One thing she didn't cover--what to do when your ex-spouse and his wife continue to go to the same church! In my case, I insisted he find a different Sunday School class, I stay away from them as much as possible, and get involved in different activities. Fortunately, I go to a big church.)

If there was one flaw, it was that most of the book assumed the divorce was the husband's fault, as it seemed to largely be in her case. The truth is, even when a husband leaves for another woman, it takes two to destroy a marriage, and she only gave lip service to that and to the self-forgiving necessary as part of the healing process. In my case, I had as much to do with the breakup of the marriage as my ex did, so some things hit rather hard; I was almost where her ex-husband was, though thankfully I repented.

The best things I will take from this book are the "feel, deal, heal" formula for coping with all the emotions that come from a divorce, and the reminder to be content in God with whatever my marital state is. And yes, there are blessings to being single!

11 of 14 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Timely & insightful!, August 27, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Formerly a Wife: A Survival Guide for Women Facing the Pain and Disruption of Divorce (Paperback)

Welby O'Brien has obviously been there!! She gives practical advice on issues large or small that impact a life after divorce, especially an unexpected divorce. I felt like I was reading the book about me. I find that I continually refer to her book for practical guidelines as well as the great questions she poses at the end of each chapter. This is a must for all christian women who have gone through a divorce.