Customer Reviews

Four Blondes

5 star:		(32)
4 star:		(51)
3 star:		(41)
2 star:		(73)
1 star:		(188)

 

 

I'm married, do not live anywhere near NYC, watch Sex in the City and was looking for a little tantalizing glimpse into the fabulous single life of Four Blondes.

I ran a hot bath, chilled a bottle of wine and settled among the froth and bubbles with Candace Bushnell's nexest book. First mistake. Did not read the Amazon customer reviews. Second: Paid full price for the book. Third: Fell asleep and dropped the $21.00 book in the bath water and had to blow dry the pages to read the last chapter. A waste of trees, bubbles and hot air. The bleak, non-sexy, self-absorbed world Bushnell attempts to glamourize reveals that not only do blondes not have fun, their roots are showing under the bleach. She must know her novel is not amusing, not light and certainly not Sex in the City where at least the chicks have a laugh with their Cosmopolitans. No laughing here. Hard to believe that I was preparing to feel sorry for myself when I started the book and ended up feeling pretty darn lucky to not be beautiful, young, single and blond in NYC. On the other hand, maybe now the general public will understand the difference between Blonde(noun) and blond(adj.) So, hey, there is some redeeming social value.

If you want to read about fun steamy sex, dust off an old copy of Valley of the Dolls. Now there is a bathtub read.

Candace Bushnell's Four Blondes may do for marital happiness what Fatal Attraction did for fidelity.

4 Blondes, the latest book by Candace Bushnell has a lot in common with her mega-hit Sex and the City. Bushnell covers more of the same ground, following shallow New York women-with-attitude who think about nothing but sex, money and designer clothes. Should be fun - but these 4 blondes are almost frightening in their self-absorption. While Sex and the City was a collection of stories gleaned from Bushnell's New York Observer column, it's hard to think of it as just a book - the actresses on the HBO series have breathed such life into the characters it's hard to separate the two. When reading 4 Blondes, you try to take the good will of the TV program with you, but these new women are so frivolous they should be arrested for taking up air.

Blonde's worst offender is Janey Wilcox, heroine (and we use the tern loosely) of the first story. Janey is a former model who spends each spring looking for a man with whom to spend the summer in the Hamptons. The man doesn't matter - it's all about the house. While the story could be said to explore the age-old argument of prostitution (in the broadest sense) - is she using him or is he using her - the story isn't about prostitution. It's supposed to be about a modern, quasi-competent woman who has chosen this life. The fact that a modeling fluke solves all her problems is pretty convenient - and doesn't solve the reader's problems in the slightest.

The other blondes don't intrigue us either. Winnie Deike, half of a high powered journalism couple, whose husband is an unappealing as she, freaks out when her husband's career doesn't measure up to her fantasies; Cecelia, a spoiled paranoid who is married to a minor royal and an unnamed American writer who decides she's running out of time and goes to London to try to find a husband take up the rest of the novel.

By the time you close the book, you wonder, "When will these women stop wining? Get a life - your OWN life". The underlying text in 4 Blondes is that it's STILL all about the men. In Sex and the City, it was sporty. In 4 Blondes, it's desperate. And since we're throwing our philosophy back to 1950, anybody's mom could tell you, desperate ain't pretty.

Reading Candace Bushnell's new tome, I was transported back to the 1980's and reminded of writers like Jay McInerny, Bret Easton Ellis and Tama Janowitz. Her new collection of stories, "4 Blondes", is supposedly set in a contemporary setting, but the actions of the majority of her characters (drug consumption, blase sexual attitudes, fascination with celebrity, etc.) feels strangely dated.

This said, Ms. Bushnell has a wonderful gift for characterization, and her characters have a wonderful way of not conforming to the reader's expectations of them. My favorite piece in the book is "Platinum", the story of a social climber turned princess turned disillusioned, pill-popping mess. "Oh my dear, what has happened to you. You're turning into a little Courtney Love" says her gay friend D.W. Her hilarious misadventures are gleefully recounted by Ms. Bushnell in stacatto prose.

In "Highlights (For Adults)", she tells of a jealous New York journalist who logs on to Amazon.com to peruse reviews of her competitors work. If the sales ranking of one of their new books is low, she feels good.

If you are a fan of HBO's "Sex and the City" (which was based on Ms. Bushnell's earlier work), you are sure to enjoy the snappy one liners and outrageous situations of "4 Blondes". If you're looking for serious, biting, New York wit, re-read Fran Lebowitz.

I have just five words of advice for all you Amazon shoppers: do not buy this book. I mean it. Even if you don't believe me when I tell you how bad it is, and you insist on reading it, don't buy it. Borrow it from a friend or take it out from the library (if you absolutely must). This drivel doesn't even deserve your time let alone your money or shelf space. Judging from this book alone, Candace Bushnell is a horrible author. I've yet to read 'Sex and the City', but I love the show. If that novel is anything like this trash, I'll have no choice other than to stay away. Not only is every character blonde, Bushnell must have run out of ideas because every character is either a model, an actor, a writer, or a business person. Oh, and they're all addicted to cocaine, like it's normal to be carrying around a vial of coke. It's sick, really.

As you may or may not be aware, 'Four Blondes' is not a novel about (as the title suggests) four blonde friends (much like 'Sex and the City'). Rather, it's four short stories about four different blondes. The first two stories are complete wastes of time. In fact, if I were you, I wouldn't even bother with those two. Even if you've already taken the time to take the book out from the library. Of course, if you've taken the time to visit the library and pick this trash up, you've obviously decided against heeding my advice anyway, in which case, you may as well go ahead and continue to ignore me. The second two stories arn't much better than the first, but I found them to be the lesser of two (or in this case, four) evils.

The first story is about an ex-model named Janey Wilcox. She's a manipulative sleaze who cares about no one except herself. She also loves using men for their summer homes in the Hamptons, and doesn't care if she dispises these men, she'll still sleep with them. Janey is shallow, vain, and wants to do "something" with her life (here's an idea, get a job you trashy, evil woman). She loves ruining other people's lives and then expects them to, not only care, but actually come running to her aid when she's managed to dig herself into a situation she could have avoided if she was a decent human being. She hates her sister, Patty, because Patty's successful, happy, and a good person. I liked Patty. Usually, arn't readers supposed to like the primary, rather than the secondary, characters?

The second story is about Winnie and James Dieke. They're a married couple who never should have gotten married in the first place. You think Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson are a match made in I-can't-believe-how-unbelievably-stupid-spoiled-and-annoying-we-are Heaven? Well, then you've never been introduced to the Diekes. They're both journalists and, basically, they hate each other. Winnie is over-controlling, and wants desperately to be successful and famous, whilst James has basically given up on life and is annoyingly frightened of everything. He's a wimp, a pushover, and an all around lazy guy. He's terrified that Winnie will leave him (oh, how will he go on without her telling him how to put on his socks!?), but she won't because she's still determined that being married to him with further her career. Oh, did I mention they have a son? Probably not, since they basically pay him no attention, and his name is never even mentioned in their story. What great people the Diekes are!

The third story is about Princess Cecelia. She's a self-absorbed snob who acts horribly to everyone, even her husband, Hubert. She seems to think she's head and shoulders above everyone else in the world because she's managed to marry the Prince of Luxenstein. She's basically insane. No, seriously. She's completely paranoid and is convinced her family is trying to kill her. She treats her husband like scum, even though he does absolutely nothing wrong. She's jealous of every other woman who's ever been in Hubert's life, and is convinced he's having an affair. She relies on other people for, basically, everything. And, even when they're trying to help her, she's discustingly rude. She does whatever she wants, whenever she wants, and when she doesn't get her way she complains about it and acts like an idiotic snot.

The last story is the shortest, which is unfortunate because it's the least offensive of the lot. It's about a journalist who refers to herself simply as "grasshopper". She writes for a magazine, answering women's questions about sex. She's been sent to England to compare the sex-lives of Londoners with those of New Yorkers. She basically meets a lot of different people, has different conversations with both men and women, and picks up a lot of different veiwpoints on different ideas and beliefs. This story isn't funny, but it's hilarious compared to the first three (in case you were thinking this entire book was going to be a "laughfest").

Well, I obviously don't recommend this book, as I've made perfectly clear. If I had to (and by that, I mean, if I was forced at gunpoint, because there's no other way I'd ever willfully open this garbage again) read it again, I think I'd start from the end. That way, if I somehow died halfway through, I wouldn't have had to read those first two again. I'm going to warn you all one more time: STAY AWAY!

THE FINAL VERDICT: 10%

It's a Jackie Collins novel without a plot. I'm sure Bushnell has a point to make somewhere but the novel is so unengaging you just can't be bothered to think too much about it once you're done.
If you haven't read it, don't. Rent Sex and the City instead of reading any of Bushnell's novels and you'll have done yourself a huge favour.

Before I purchased this book, I read a few of the customer reviews here on Amazon.com. The harsh, negative tone of almost every review I read surprised me. I usually like - or at least find something good in - most of the books I read. Because of this, I thought to myself, "This book can't be THAT bad, `Sex and the City was alright' this one can't be much worse..." Guess what? "Four Blondes in worse than "Sex and the City," a lot worse.

I'm under the suspicion that Candice Bushnell simply does not know much about writing fiction. "Sex and the City" worked because it was a freewheeling collection of her columns based on (supposedly) true events. But Bushnell's doesn't have the ability to be effective in anything more than small doses: elements of fiction such as plot, character development and natural dialogue elude her.

As many previous reviewers said, Bushnell gives us no reason to like - or care the least bit about - any of her characters. For example, the first story is about gold-digging model with few likable characteristics. In the last few pages it looks that this girl is going to give up her gold-digging ways and become a realtor. This would have been an acceptable ending. Instead, Bushnell has her character luckily get some big time modeling contract and all her monetary problems are solved.

Bushnell wants us to be happy for this character for finally "making it" on her own even though the author doesn't give us any reason at all about why we should like her. This is amateurish writing. Sorry to give away the ending of the first story, but if that makes you feel less inspired to read this book, I'll have done you a favor. Don't read this book, it really is that bad.

This book was honestly awful. There was no plot, and the characters are un-realistic and un-interesting. I couldn't even bring myself to finish this book, and I HATE not finishing a book. Don't waste your money on this one!

I don't know what possessed me to finish this book, which showed its vacuity within the first 10 pages. The characters are one-dimensional (not to mention sad and pathetic), nothing happens to them to transform them from their sad and pathetic states, and the most I can say I learned from this book is a greater understanding of the social dynamics of the Hampton Jitney.

If you already have a negative opinion of the Botox and Beemers set, this book will only reinforce it. Makes one wonder how Bushnell could've been the one behind "Sex and the City." Whatever made that series click is totally absent here.

I can't believe I actually spent money on this. Desperation at the airport is the worst thing, but i'd rather read the inflight magazine (including the ads)13 times and speak to the annoying woman beside me for 6 hours instread of subjecting myself to this book. Who prints this stuff?

4 Blondes just may mark the end of Candace Bushnell's 15 minutes of fame. One reviewer wrote that Bushnell is a satirist showing "the growing chasm between sex and romance." A satirist, I don't think so. No, just a writer throwing together four stories in haste in order to meet a publishing deadline. Was I supposed to like these women, or hate them? Was I supposed to empathize with them, sympathize with them or just wish for their deaths? Reading this book equals 2 wasted hours, 2 hours I will never get back. Finally, the 3rd story was an obvious roman a clef of John and Carolyn Kennedy. Heartless.