The Fourth Trimester: And You Thought Labor Was Hard... [Hardcover]

Amy Einhorn (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 17, 2001

The thank-you note real moms in the Fourth Trimester would like to send:

Dear ________ :
Thanks for sending us ________ . I’m sure __________ will love it as soon as _______ can do anything besides eat, sleep, cry, and run up the stock price on Pampers. Having recently entered the Fourth Trimester, right now my goals in life are to sleep more than three hours and shower before 7:00 p.m. So please excuse this impersonal note.
I’d love for you to come over and see _________ . But no helpful hints, no critiquing of the fact that I
(1) breast-feed without a cover-up;
(2) do not breast-feed and use formula;
(3) allow my child to use a pacifier;
(4) use a Swyngo-matic to hypnotize my child into a state eerily similar to an Ecstasy trip.
Do not tell me that __________ looks cute. I know that __________ looks like a cross between E.T. and Yoda. And no comments about my figure. I am not Cindy Crawford and, yes, those are maternity clothes I’m still wearing.
Bring rain gear and you’ll be well prepared for the nonstop torrent of liquid escaping from __________ and me. Can’t wait to see you -- of course, these days I’m even looking forward to having my mom and mother-in-law visit. I’ll take whatever adult company I can get.

Love and kisses from me and the pumpkin!

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Coining a brand-new phrase, New York City book editor Amy Einhorn offers new moms advice for surviving their baby's first six weeks in The Fourth Trimester: And You Thought Labor Was Hard... Advice, Humor and Inspiration for New Moms on Surviving the First Six Weeks and Beyond. Her earthy wit is a refreshing change from the usual earnestness of child-rearing books. She's got plenty of tips on infant care yes, moms do have to take a baby's temperature rectally but also knows the mother has to take care of herself: "Baby Gap credit works at the adult Gap, and you're going to need some in-between clothes to wear before you can fit into your old clothes." On women who are still thin after childbirth, Einhorn is reassuring: "Those people are mutations. They are not normal." On having sex six weeks after giving birth, as recommended by most doctors: "If you wait until you have enough energy, you're going to be a grandmother." Agent, Victoria Sanders.

Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

From the Inside Flap

The thank-you note real moms in the Fourth Trimester would like to send:

Dear ________ :
Thanks for sending us ________ . I?m sure __________ will love it as soon as _______ can do anything besides eat, sleep, cry, and run up the stock price on Pampers. Having recently entered the Fourth Trimester, right now my goals in life are to sleep more than three hours and shower before 7:00 p.m. So please excuse this impersonal note.
I?d love for you to come over and see _________ . But no helpful hints, no critiquing of the fact that I
(1) breast-feed without a cover-up;
(2) do not breast-feed and use formula;
(3) allow my child to use a pacifier;
(4) use a Swyngo-matic to hypnotize my child into a state eerily similar to an Ecstasy trip.
Do not tell me that __________ looks cute. I know that __________ looks like a cross between E.T. and Yoda. And no comments about my figure. I am not Cindy Crawford and, yes, those are maternity clothes I?m still wearing.
Bring rain gear and you?ll be well prepared for the nonstop torrent of liquid escaping from __________ and me. Can?t wait to see you -- of course, these days I?m even looking forward to having my mom and mother-in-law visit. I?ll take whatever adult company I can get.

Love and kisses from me and the pumpkin!

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 96 pages
• Publisher: Crown (April 17, 2001)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0812991060
• ISBN-13: 978-0812991062
• Product Dimensions: 7.2 x 5.1 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #656,531 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A scary, funny and down-to-earth primer for new parents, May 23, 2001

By 

R. George "raygeo3" (Brooklyn, NY) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Fourth Trimester: And You Thought Labor Was Hard... (Hardcover)

As I continue to struggle through the overwhelming information in "What to Expect...." while my wife and I expect our first child, I found Ms. Einhorn's book an incredibly realistic and humorous perspective on the madness that is "newborn propoganda." Her frank, refreshing voice highlighted the sometimes shocking experiences during the newborn's first 6 weeks. But despite all the mental and physical hardship that are in store for my wife (and to a much lesser extent me - that is now EMINENTLY clear), I found her book immensely reassuring. Her acknowledgement that we all have made, and will continue to make, mistakes and that it's basically OK is one of those obvious things that needs to be said. Thanks for this terrific read - it was the best 45 minutes of preparation I have spent over that last 8 months.

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Every new mom needs this kind of humor, July 11, 2001

By 

irish twins (Georgia) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Fourth Trimester: And You Thought Labor Was Hard... (Hardcover)

I loved this book! It's helpful, chocked full of great tidbits of baby care and mommy care tips, and very, very funny! I'm a mom of two wee ones, and just bought this for my expecting girlfriend. She's going to love it (and need it)!

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars It felt like my best friend was sitting with me at 3:00AM, January 23, 2003

By A Customer

This review is from: The Fourth Trimester: And You Thought Labor Was Hard... (Hardcover)

One night at 3:00AM I was sitting with my new baby who was WIDE awake. I took a look at the bookcase, and pulled out this book which I had received as a gift. It was funny, reasurring and made me feel like I wasn't alone. The first few weeks are very tough on a new mom, and this book articulated it truthfully, with humor, and without the guilt.
I will make sure all my friends have it just in case they need to open it up in the middle of the night too!