I don't know what form of madness I suffer from that requires me to rent virtually every film from the "animals run amok" genre. Whatever it is, and such an illness ought to have a name, I'm currently passing through the advanced stages. I don't even bother reading a plot summary anymore when I see a DVD case with killer sharks, giant insects, or mutated monsters on the cover; I just rent the sucker immediately. It's likely--extremely, painfully likely--that the movie in question will stink. It goes without saying that the filmmakers lifted most of the plot from Spielberg's "Jaws." Doesn't matter. I'll still rent the movie in question and give it a watch. Such was the case with director Mark A.Z. Dippé's "Frankenfish." Just look at that cover! How could I resist such an alluring vision as that? If, for some reason, the cover is no longer visible, the case for "Frankenfish" shows two hapless looking people in water up to their waist in the foreground while a gigantic, ugly fish sporting lots of nasty looking teeth zooms toward them in the background. Yay! We're about to have some fun! Well, not really, but the movie isn't as bad as some in this genre.
"Frankenfish," set in the mythical land called Louisiana, begins by introducing us to a crack medical examiner named Sam Rivers (Tory Kittles) as he goes about investigating a crime scene. He quickly finds more than he bargained for when a call sends him further into the bayou to investigate a suspicious animal attack in the swamp. Teaming up with a busty scientist named Mary (China Chow), Rivers discovers with some alarm that the victim in question sports bite marks of an unknown origin. Uh oh. Obviously, an investigation needs to take place right away in order to ascertain the cause of death. It's equally obvious that such an investigation will likely CAUSE more deaths, but that's why we're watching. Anyway, Sammy and Mary head up the river...umm, swamp...to track down this nasty beastie. They soon stumble over a few rickety houseboats populated by a group of people from central typecasting. We've got some neo-hippie with a penchant for swamp grass and nekkid livin', a voodoo lovin' African-American family, and a sullen loner. After some tension filled chitchat between all the characters, disaster strikes in the form of a monstrous fish, a Frankenfish if you will, and the movie rapidly descends into "monsters gone mad" mode.
These fish are mean mothers! They can soar through the air like trained gymnasts, breathe air when necessary, and have the ability to pursue their prey out of the water. And they don't like these people or these houseboats. Predictably, the characters have no way to escape from these monsters, so they have to use their wits to survive until help arrives. When someone finally does show up, it's about as far from help as you can imagine. It turns out that some bored big game hunter imported a bunch of these fish from China and then had them genetically altered. Of course, they escaped and quickly began to breed in the river...umm, swamp. It's this hunter and some of his cronies who arrive to clean up the mess. One thing leads to another as many people die in horrible ways. Since "Frankenfish" is a genetic monster gone mad movie, we also must have the scenes where humanity reasserts its control of the natural world. How this happens is quite amusing, if completely illogical by orders of magnitude, and evokes memories of that Saturday Night Live sketch in which Dan Aykroyd as Julia Child ground that fish up in the blender. Roll credits.
"Frankenfish" does have a few things going for it, things that set it apart from the typical "Jaws" ripoff. One, the movie has China Chow and K.D. Aubert, two cuties who if nothing else provide the audience with the requisite eye candy so important to the success of these types of films. Two, "Frankenfish" is massively gory. We see screaming flesh torn to shreds, ripped in half, punctured with bullets, and generally abused in delightfully saucy ways. Mutated fish don't worry about making a mess when eating their prey, apparently. Three, a character actually kills one of the monsters, tears its heart out, grills the dripping mess, and then proceeds to eat it as a form of revenge! Alas, what's good finds its opposite in what's bad, and "Frankenfish" frequently fails to rise above several obstacles. One, it's a ripoff of every creature flick we've ever seen. Two, the dialogue and the reactions of the characters to the unfolding carnage easily scale the heights of stupidity. Three, and the most important, the CGI effects used to depict the monstrous fish look like CGI effects used to depict monstrous fish. Don't get me wrong; the fish here look light years better than the cheesy rubber objects seen in a movie like "Piranha," to cite one example, but they still come off as pretty schlocky.
Extras on the disc are limited to a bunch of trailers: "Resident Evil: Apocalypse," "Frankenfish," "Asylum of the Damned," "Boa vs. Python," "Stephen King's Kingdom Hospital," and "Anacondas: Hunt for the Blood Orchid." Overall, I'd give "Frankenfish" a solid three stars. It's stupid and derivative, but it's also entertaining and gory. I can think of many films in this genre that are far, FAR worse than this one. If you can't resist the lure of mutated beasties seeking revenge against humanity, if you can't pass up seeing another movie with killer sharks or giant insects, "Frankenfish" is must see viewing for you. All others should proceed directly to "Jaws" and give this a pass.