Customer Reviews

Frankenstein Island

5 star:		(1)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

This is BY FAR... the worst movie I have ever seen. The movie makes no sense. This movie is SO BAD... you will be humiliated to think you actually sat and endured the movie... that is... if you have the courage to wait through the movie... and you will... because you will want to find out what's going on. You will get suckered into watching the whole movie only to find there is NOTHING there. Nothing... ABSOLUTELY NOTHING makes sense. It's a waste if celluloid. MUST SEE... because it will make every subsequent movie-watching experience a true joy.

I love bad movies, and am used to movies that hurt a lot, but this one even surpassed my high threshold of pain. I had to watch it in two viewings as I just couldn't take it after about the first hour. Brought to you by Jerry "Wild, Wild World of Batwoman" Warren, and his cast of regulars, with special guest 'appearance' by John Carradine, who, apparently, would be in absolutely anything. Here Carradine is in fine form as a disembodied head, which shrieks a lot, but seemingly has no other connection with the alleged plot. Katherine "Batwoman" Victor plays Sheila Frankenstein, and gets to wear the silliest wig I have ever seen. Also look out for a couple of the other Warren regulars from "Batwoman"; I don't know their names, but you will instantly recognize the voices as those of the two guys who worked at the 'Ayjax Development Corporation', in the Atomic Powered Hearing Aid Division. (If in the off chance you haven't seen "Batwoman", go get it at once: it is the film that defines Jerry Warren as a director.)

I really can't summarize the plot, and if you are familiar with Jerry Warren's film stylings, you know why: there is no plot. (There is WAY less plot here than his earlier "Batwoman" debacle.) I will just tell you that somehow involved in the storyline are: a balloon crash, the worst Frankenstein monster I have ever seen, girls in loincloths, idiot servant men in women's sunglasses, and a dog.

For bad movie aficionados this is a true treasure, and is not to be missed, for anyone else, forget it. There are a couple of bonus features, including an interview with Katherine Victor called "Hangin' With Sheila Frankenstein" in which she discusses the film, and wears the gaudiest ring I have ever seen in my life. She seems pretty funny and obviously enjoyed her part in this atrocity.

I almost gave this five stars for unending badness, but changed my mind, and only gave it four, on account of the headache it gave me. Go get it, and if you can fully comprehend the subtleties and nuances that I obviously missed, drop me a line.

Jerry Warren (Incredible Petrified World, Teenage Zombies) is to horror movie directing what Godzilla is to urban renewal! No one should have ever allowed him to pick up a camera, not even as a joke! FRANKENSTEIN ISLAND is quite possibly the nadir of all schlock-o-matic film-making. It's certainly the worst thing Warren himself ever unleashed upon us. Plot?? Well, 4 bumpkins crash their hot-air balloon into the ocean, only to wash ashore on the title island. They are soon joined by alien babes in leopard-skin bikinis. So far so good. Alas, the fun ends there. 5 minutes into this 96 minute endurance test, we are treated to Cameron Mitchell as a captive sailor who knows nothing but how to quote Edgar Allen Poe stories. We meet Katherine Victor as Mrs. Frankenstein, bent on..., um, nothing in particular. We see her laboratory, complete w/ knobs, dials, bubbling chemicals, and a spinning bullet-box painted pink. John Carradine's head pops in and out, burbling things like "The golden thread! The power! The POWER!" over and over. His "role" in this hunk of poo is almost as embarassing as Bela's "Pull The String!" appearance in GLEN OR GLENDA! However, at least GOG was funny. FRANKENSTEIN ISLAND is so spectacularly dull, that I contemplated suicide, but decided I had to survive long enough to write this review! Oh yeah, there is a monster in this "movie". He showed up at the hour and twenty minute mark, long after I'd lost the will to live. So, please heed my warning! Do not subject yourself to this cinematic donkey turd! To equal it's effects in far less time, just stand in the toilet and stick your finger in a light socket. Aloha...

I won't tell you the plot, even though you probably have a good idea that there really isn't one that makes sense. This is a wacky,wild movie with people getting stranded on the island, scientist gone mad, psycho henchmen, bikini clad beauties and yes, there is the monster, whoa! If you like classic low budget B-Movie madness, don't pass this one up. A real twisted gem. Only for people with a good sense of humour.

A hot air balloon crashes into an island occupied by an ancestor of Dr. Frankenstein - yes, it's as bad as it sounds.