Customer Reviews

Free Yourself to Love: The Liberating Power of Forgiveness (Faith Words)

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One can't love if one is too busy hating. "Free Yourself to Love: The Liberating Power of Forgiveness" is a self-help guide for those who are having a hard time letting go of grudges. Author Jackie Kendall brings readers tips and advice on improving their ability to forgive and forget those who have wronged them, so that they may better learn to love the world and themselves. With a Christian outlook, "Free Yourself to Love" is a recommended read for those who don't want hate in their hearts.

Over the last few months I have been reading and re-reading the book, while studying it with a friend of mine. During that time there has been so much simmering in me and I have been sorting through various things that the book has brought up in me. While I was a bit skeptical at first as to how the book would apply to me, I can honestly say that for myself {and for the friend I'm reading it with} it has been a definite 'God-timing' read.

Jackie Kendall grew up in a completely dysfunctional family ~ suffering abuse as a child and living through the pain of two siblings committing suicide. She is amazingly transparent and open in her writing, sharing how she has learned what a forgiving lifestyle is truly about.

Throughout the book, Jackie address various aspects of forgiveness: reasons we don't forgive, counterfeit forgiveness, saying goodbye to shame, authentic forgiveness and the tools to forgiveness. She also addresses the six most commonly used excuses we use in not forgiving others:

1. The offense was too great.
2. The memories of the offense are so vivid.
3. The offense was repeated.
4. You want to make the person pay for the offense.
5. You are too angry to even consider forgiving this person.
6. The offender didn't say, "I am sorry."

The one thing that has impacted me the most from this book is the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. In my mind the two were so entwined - but the two are separate in nature. This passage from Jackie's book describes it so well:

"Forgiving is a gift I give because of Jesus' gift to me. It is a gift I bestow upon my offender and a gift I give to myself. Forgiveness is also a gift I give to God. Such a response in faith and obedience is, indeed, an offering to God. Reconciliation is the gift exchanged between me and the offender when he or she has repented. Because I have already forgiven, I am not held hostage to that person's offensive behavior, waiting for him or her to repent. Forgiveness is my being set free, and reconciliation is when the relationship between me and the offender is healed."
{page 73, Free Yourself to Love}


Jackie breaks things down so well, gives great examples throughout the book, and provides excellent 'personal questions' to help you understand the heart of forgiveness. Free Yourself to Love has challenged me on so many different levels ~ this book is one that I am still pouring over and will be referencing for years to come.

We all have someone who we are holding a grudge against, but how do we let go? Jackie Kendall is embracing the subject of forgiving those unforgiveables in your life. NOT forgiving someone is a sin; she explains how and why this is so, and why if you want to move on and have loving relationships you need to conquer that. I thought this book was great. We all have baggage from our pasts that really threaten our happiness in the future. I know I had feelings of unforgiveness against my ex-husband. This really opened my eyes to how to find forgiveness towards him and how that could open up my future. Whether you're angry at an abusive husband or parent, a friend who said the wrong thing, people in your office, or even your children Jackie helps you understand why you need to forgive them, and how to do it. The book also examines the artificial forgiveness we all seem to practice on a daily basis. Have you ever told little white lie excusing people's actions to their faces and then silently stew about the offense. This book is a must read for just about everyone. Believe me, it will shine a bit of light in places you didn't know you had to work on!

This primer on forgiveness gives an in-depth insight on how to do the job. The author breaks down the ability to forgive as per the biblical command to forgive 7 times 70.

She lists the six most commonly used excuses for not forgiving:

1. The offense was too great.
2. The memories of the offense are so vivid.
3. The offense was repeated.
4. You want to make the person pay for the offense.
5. You are too angry to even consider forgiving this person.
6. The offender didn't say, "I am sorry."

Addressing each excuse, the author points out that forgiving is a gift, a choice that we must make to experience the freedom to love. She also points out that reconciliation does not necessarily go hand-in-hand with forgiveness. A list follows each chapter that help "Make It Personal." I feel that most folks will find this book helpful.

All of us have grudge books but we think we are being spiritual if we pretent we don't. This book made me realize how my unforgiveness has been covered up with trying to be spiritual and in the end over flows onto my family. I have not faced my hurts and been honest and instead dealt with them by becoming angry and at times enraged. Jackie is open and honest and shares her story and the correct way to deal with the stored up hurts...grudge book....and begin to love as the Lover of all mankind loves....by forgiving, whether the offender apologizes are not.

A wonderful book that talks about the healing power of forgiveness. Jackie speaks from personal experience as well as sharing stories of others who have gotten past counterfeit forgiveness and found the peace that only comes when you forgive those who don't deserve it. My favorite part was when she shared about how people you fail to forgive are living rent free in our heads!!

Product was exactly as said in description. New condition & an excellent read too! Thank you!