Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life and over one million other books are available for Amazon Kindle. Learn more
Buy Used
$4.00
FREE Shipping on orders over $35.
Used: Very Good | Details
Condition: Used: Very Good
Have one to sell? Sell on Amazon
Flip to back Flip to front
Listen Playing... Paused   You're listening to a sample of the Audible audio edition.
Learn more
See this image

Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life Hardcover – January 10, 2008


See all 7 formats and editions Hide other formats and editions
Amazon Price New from Used from
Kindle
"Please retry"
Hardcover
"Please retry"
$6.34 $0.76

NO_CONTENT_IN_FEATURE

Best Books of the Month
Best Books of the Month
Want to know our Editors' picks for the best books of the month? Browse Best Books of the Month, featuring our favorite new books in more than a dozen categories.

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 256 pages
  • Publisher: Tarcher; First Edition edition (January 10, 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1585426245
  • ISBN-13: 978-1585426249
  • Product Dimensions: 5.7 x 8.4 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (100 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #280,796 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

"Psychotherapist Martinez-Lewi combines clinical analysis with psychological profiles of famous people she believes to have been narcissists (e.g., Frank Lloyd Wright, Ayn Rand) in this valuable guide to recognizing, coping with, and overcoming narcissistic behavior. She focuses on the high-level narcissist, i.e., the "omnipotent, grandiose, often charismatic individual of overreaching ambition and palpable hubris," distinguishing diagnostically between narcissists and borderline and antisocial personalities. She further presents a historical and societal perspective on narcissism, explaining the shift in focus in psychopathology from neuroses to personality disorders. Throughout, she draws on solid secondary biographies as well as relevant case studies from her private practice, and she ends with a reasoned discussion of decidedly Eastern approaches (e.g., meditation) to counter narcissists’ destructive behavior. The book is written with a calm directness and achieves the author’s purpose of helping readers identify and protect themselves from naively tangling with these personalities. It offers more clinical analysis and experience than does Eleanor Payson’s The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists and nicely complements Nina W. Brown’s Children of the Self-Absorbed. Highly recommended for university and larger public libraries.
 — Dale Farris, LIBRARY JOURNAL

Review

"Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life by Linda Martinez- Lewi,PhD (Tarcher/Penguin) may just be the best investment you will make this year as a guide to recognizing, coping with, and ultimately overcoming the destructive behavior of high-level narcissists, whether they be lovers, co- workers, friends or parents. It’s one thing to have a healthy self-esteem, but there are folks who we all know as self-absorbed, conceited, or egotistical. These people are trouble and this book is an excellent guide to deal with them."
 — Alan Caruba, BOOKVIEWS

"5 THINGS WE LEARNED FROM…. Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life By Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D. (Tarcher/Penguin)
According to the psychotherapist author, narcissists are people with extreme senses of superiority who possess no empathy. Martinez-Lewi believes that high- level narcissists are unlikely to change, so she offers methods for readers to maintain personal boundaries, remain psychologically secure and live the life they choose.
1. As our culture has emphasized financial success and fame, we have begun rewarding high-level narcissism
2. There is such a thing as healthy narcissism. He or she "has a firm realistic sense of self.’
3. "A successful narcissist deludes others into believing he is genuinely interested in them."
4. To withstand an eruption of ego from a narcissist, one must be psychologically grounded. "A grounded individual is secure and calm; he feels solid at his center." 5. The world of a narcissist is often complicated. To combat being part of that world; simplify your own."
 — Chris McNamara, CHICAGOTRIBUNE.COM

"The author, psychotherapist and licensed marriage and family therapist has written a guide making it easier to recognize, cope with and ultimately overcome the destructive behavior of high-level narcissists, whether they be lovers, work colleagues, friends or parents. Drawing on detailed profiles of famous narcissists including Pablo Picasso, Frank Lloyd Wright and Ayn Rand, she points out that trying to change a narcissist is impossible and reveals the steps that must be taken to expel such destructive individuals from our lives."
TUCSONCITIZEN.COM

More About the Author

Linda Martinez-Lewi,Ph.D. is a clinical expert on narcissistic personality disorder. She is the author of "Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life." (Tarcher/Penguin) She is a licensed psychotherapist with in-depth clinical training and many years experience working with clients. She offers Telephone Consultation internationally to those experiencing narcissistic abuse.

My Focus

Through my writing and telephone consultations (International) I work with individuals who are going through painful ordeals with narcissistic personalities:daughters and sons of a narcissistic mothers and fathers, narcissistic spouses, narcissistic siblings. I have an extensive blog under:thenarcissistinyourlife.com on every facet of the narcissistic personality disorder. I think you will find it very helpful. Please subscribe to my blog.

History of My Journey

During my clinical training I studied personality disorders and became fascinated with the narcissistic personality in particular. In my clinical practice I observed that many of my clients were experiencing psychological and emotional pain in their relationships with narcissistic personalities.
They reported feeling controlled, manipulated, deceived and exploited in their familial and marital relationships.

I am deeply committed to helping those who suffer from the psychological and emotional cruelties connected with relationships with narcissistic personalities. Through my communications with clients and those who write to me I hear good news that you can prevail over the narcissistic personality and lead the life that you deserve. Learn to recognize the narcissistic personality, stop blaming yourself. Most of us are fooled by narcissists. You can recover, become psychologically and emotionally fit and and rediscover your true self.

If you have read Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life, please leave an Amazon review here. This is one of the most important ways you can support my work to help those controlled, manipulated and abused by narcissists to heal, rediscover their unique gifts and renew their lives.


Customer Reviews

A very insightful book, academically well researched, but easy for the average person to read and understand.
Guinevere
Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life is a helpful book for all who find themselves entangled with narcissists.
Elizabeth Michel
I read this book and it described acurately my upbringing, my family and the person in our family who has this problem.
Jatzbiscuits

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

170 of 173 people found the following review helpful By Michele Germain on February 27, 2008
Format: Hardcover
I am a psychotherapist in private practice who specializes in working with clients who are going through or have experienced difficult and painful divorces and relationship break-ups. Many clients I see have unknowingly been married to or involved with an ex-partner who is a narcissist. These individuals not only experience confusion, rage, grief, and abandonment over the divorce or break-up but they often blame themselves for the failed relationship. When an individual marries or has a partner who is a narcissist, he or she simply cannot win. The narcissist suffers from an inability to be empathic and is often self-absorbed, personality traits that are difficult to change. The narcissist will not be able to recognize his/her own personality issues that contribute to a failed relationship.

In her clear and engaging book, Martinez-Lewi offers examples from her private practice that vividly bring the narcissist's destructive personality traits (deception, manipulation, ruthlessness, grandiosity, lack of empathy) to life. The reader will learn to empower herself/himself to view the divorce or break-up in a realistic way without personalizing it. Martinez-Lewi offers excellent strategies and tools for protecting ourselves from and handling the narcissist in a self-empowering way. I highly recommend this book to everyone. It is very helpful to those going through divorces and break-ups as well as individuals who are dealing with ex-spouses and ex-partners.
3 Comments Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
95 of 96 people found the following review helpful By PsychicMike,com on March 21, 2009
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
Oh, the charm and the humor. The love of your life. The one who you call "Magic." Your soulmate, the one who you've spent "many" past lives with. The one that makes you dream and captivates your imagination. He is so wonderfully kind and polite to all those he meets. Yes, at times, he seems to have anger problems and disappears often without notice. The relationship seems lopsided, but he's busy yet still loves you. You've never met anyone in your life like him but interestingly, you've also never sacrificed more.

Your "unique" ability to understand and forgive him is the reason you stay; waiting for him to change to be an equal lover that never materializes. Captured in a dream, you learn to forgive him more and lose yourself, your goals, all to support him and his dreams. You remind him of your need for him to be honest to you although you remain alone at home, restless dreaming about him as he is often "out with friends."

You know "in your heart" that he is a good man and only needs a stable partner that won't leave him so that he grows to love you more. One day, he stops calling, you don't know where he is. You search frantically to find that he has a new lover and you are left with shock, confusion, sadness, and after the wake of despair, a huge financial loss somewhere.

As the author states, the gift that interaction with a narcissist brings is self understanding. Your own life's relationship patterns with others come bubbling to the surface. The relationship patterns that were established through interaction with your parents are ripe to finally be visible to you most clearly and time to be broken forever.
Read more ›
9 Comments Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
110 of 115 people found the following review helpful By Judith M. Kriss on January 30, 2008
Format: Hardcover
I am just an ordinary person who now and then encounters someone who makes me want to run as far and fast as I can. We all know who this person is. If we're lucky we don't encounter them before we learn to walk but later on the playground, in school, in our relationships and jobs. The one we vigilantly look out for on the road, and love to watch self destruct in front of the media. This is the narcissist Lewi so aptly describes in her new book. The one who can hurt because he or she cannot feel pain in others.

Her book is a quick, highly instructive and enjoyable read. On a dark rainy afternoon I curled up with it in my favorite chair and immediately became absorbed. From the first chapter she makes clear most of us have a healthy dose of narcissism to boost our self worth to make us motivated and talented. The narcissist, she emphasizes, has a "severe personality disorder." With her peppery language and bottomless insight, Lewi takes us on a fascinating journey behind the mask of the narcissist. From their "bravado" to their "bottomless rage" to their "painful inner void." She shows us the famous and the not so famous. The cruelty and negligence of the brilliant Picasso, and Charlene with her "breathless litany of self."

How do we hold our own, asks Lewi? In the final chapter she takes an honest, straightforward look at our options and comes up with some surprising answers. I was heartened to know most of us are ill-equipped to deal with this kind of personality but that we can walk away with our dignity and sanity intact.

I highly recommend this very engrossing read.

Judith Kriss
1 Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
131 of 141 people found the following review helpful By Jonny G on July 5, 2010
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
I got the book for help, advice, and ideas for surviving and dealing with being married to someone I believe to be a narcissist, or at least possess a high number of such traits. I was looking for ways to determine which description matches my spouse. I was hoping to find strategies for dealing with a narcissistic spouse and how best to dissolve the relationship with minimum damage to myself and my family. I found very little that went toward achieving this goal.

The book, instead, focuses on what the author calls a, "high-level narcissist." This book focuses on the uber-successful, charming billionaire type. It is full of entertaining, well written vignettes which reveal the depravity of the extremely narcissistic. It does little (nothing) to arm a person to better deal with that kind of domestic relationship. Most all of the strategies for coping were focused on board room settings.
The entire last quarter of the book was written as a guide to use meditation, yoga, and Buddhist philosophy to better equip one's self to stand up to the narcissist. I was under the impression that "Freeing" myself would involve safe exit strategies, not meditation. I did not want an eastern thought primer. But, if you do, this one is very good.

If you want short anecdotes to share with friends, entertaining and poetically written glimpses of narcissism, or a basic meditation guide then this is your book. If you are a personal assistant to a celebrity, then may be some useful nuggets for you. If you want coping strategies for being married to a narcissist, search elsewhere. This is particularly true for those married to a middle-class, run of the mill, everyday narcissist.
6 Comments Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again

Most Recent Customer Reviews