Customer Reviews

French Women Don't Sleep Alone

5 star:		(29)
4 star:		(4)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(6)

 

 

Sometimes a book can just strike you at the right moment. That's the way it was for me when I picked up a copy of Jamie Cat Callan's "French Women Don't Sleep Alone." I started reading and finished within two hours. I smiled all the way through.

Unlike some of the other Francophile lifestyle books like "French Women Don't Get Fat" and "Entre Nous: A Woman's Guide to Finding Her Inner French Girl," "French Women Don't Sleep Alone" may masquerade as pure fun, but the tips accrued by Callan in her efforts to understand the mystique of her French grandmother can be utilized by American women who have spent too much time becoming empowered rivals to their male counterparts rather than real flesh and blood women and mean more to its reader than learning how to tie a scarf, wear a pencil skirt and heels, eat small bites and leave food on your plate.

Callan is so right when she simply restates what is as plain as the nez on your visage: Men and women are different. Well, duh . . . Well, serious duh! We are different, however, for the last forty years we have been trying to be the same. We burnt our bras - (I didn't--I need mine) and let down our guards by `being honest' and `telling it like it is' (yes, I have been guilty of this.) But to what avail? Has it done us any good? Are we more enlightened or do we just become extremely cynical, eat more ice cream and kvetsh about the ten pounds we have gained? We complain about our men and try to change them--make them into sensitive women! Yes, we do. We want to be included in and consulted on everything they do, but then we scream when we discover that we have trained them to do absolutely nothing. We've made it too easy.

Callan concentrates her study on the French woman, but I think her comments encompass most Europeans. American women want their men to understand them while European women relish the fact that they don't. The worlds of men and women are different. Why not enjoy ours and let them enjoy theirs? What are we afraid that we will miss? Nothing that we actually want.

Wisely, Callan comments on the overt sexuality and celebrity worshiping generations of younger women that show it all while wishing they were someone else. European women know how to dress--classic pieces paired with something eclectic--a show of leg, maybe some cleavage, but never both at once. Elegant yet fun. Jeans that fit right, not the ones that some superstar wore.

So what's the secret that French women know that has eluded us on the other side of the pond? Once we find our mates we expect to be joined at the hip. We give up all our mystery; recount little things that bore us let alone our men. Instead of developing that woman that our man fell in love with in the first place, we become complacent and lazy, expecting to be entertained rather than independently continuing to grow while on our own paths. We expect one path to encompass two people and that really doesn't make any sense at all.

If my comments have intrigued you, Callan's free and easy prose will delight you. Her insights make her an honorary candidate for the next Marianne. She will teach you not to date, that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, the power of keeping your life in tact through the coterie (your circle of friends) and most importantly, the escape to a secret garden.

Bottom line? Jamie Cat Callan's how-to on finding love, "French Women Don't Sleep Alone," is sure to please even the most disgruntled feminist. Fast, fun and insightful it comes highly recommended by this reviewer who spent a few hours in her own Jardin Secret while reading it. Oui, Oui!
Diana Faillace Von Behren
"reneofc"

I have spent a lot of time in France, have many French friends, have dated French men, and have read all the comparable books on this topic, so I was really looking forward to reading this one. What a letdown. For starters, a good proofreader/editor/translator would have been helpful...way too many grammatical and spelling errors (in both English and French...surely *someone* should have caught that Blvd. St. Michel is not Blvd. St. Mitchel)! That aside, this was nothing but a retread of all the books that Callan quoted in her own book(true, she did give the other authors credit), and those were better written. And, while there definitely is a difference between how French and American women approach life and love, what this book doesn't address is that there's a difference between how French and American *men* approach life and love as well...while some (or even most, I would agree) of the author's suggestions certainly mirror my own attitude toward life and relationships, unfortunately, she doesn't take into account that what works in French society and in French relationships does not necessarily translate when dealing with American relationships (more's the pity, since I'm more of the French mindset myself!). I'd say if you want to read this book, get it from the library and save the money...at the very least, read the other books written on the topic. (One that wasn't mentioned that explores both the male and female perspective is "Women and Men: A Philosophical Conversation," by Francoise Giroud and Bernard-Henri Levy.)

As someone who reads a good deal on the topics of dating, love and relationships and who hears more than an earful from both men and women on this subject each day, I do not think "French Women Don't Sleep Alone" is a valuable read to women seeking to improve the quality of their love lives/relationships and, thus, I would not recommend it.

Unfortunately, there is very little substance in "French Women Don't Sleep Alone" - rather, it is in essence one woman's idealization of the French culture. If one were to read this book without any other knowledge on the topic, one would think that French women are all perfect specimens of beauty and all masters at the art of love with absolutely no issues to wrestle with when it comes to dating/relationships - it is this type of extreme bias that makes the book lose credibility (as one other reviewer commented here - the prevalence of mistresses/adultery in the French culture demonstrates that perhaps French women don't have it all down as the author suggests). The book's attempts to be cute and whimsical generally fell flat for me and I could not agree more with the reviewer who wrote that if she wanted a cookbook, she would have bought one. The recipes add nothing to the book - perhaps Ms. Callan thought they would be cute and helpful but it was almost irritating to come across - recommending some excellent cookbooks would have added more value to the reader. Likewise, her heavy emphasis on the single woman's need to throw dinner parties is also misguided for a good portion of the population considering that in urban areas most single females who live in apartments do not have the space to entertain the way Ms. Callan suggests.

To be fair, the book does offer a few helpful suggestions. I agree whole heartedly with Ms. Callan's observations on the elegant/tasteful dressing tips to be taken from French women. And I also agree with her commentary on how French women tend to let men be men more than American women do (and so I agree with her advice to celebrate the differences between the sexes). As there is limited value in the book (VERY limited), I give it one star.

Simply put, there are so many other books on this subject that are more interesting, more informative and a far better use of a reader's time.


Marni Galison, President and Founder
Sunday at Noon Matchmaking and Events

I loved it and learned so much about the French and French women! I actually read this book while I was in France this summer. I was there for three weeks and spent the entire time reading books by Americans about France. This was one of my favorites. I don't normally read self-help books but this one was so much more than that. It is well written, informative, helpful, and, most importantly, fun! I have told all my friends about it and I'm thinking of having a themed dinner party based on it. I went lingerie shopping while I was in France to celebrate my new knowledge. I hope she writes more books like this - it is revolutionary!

The title of this book is misleading. The name of the first chapter, French Women Don't Date, would be a better title. That's the reason for the four stars instead of five, because other than that it is a fascinating read, better than the little bit of entertaining fluff I was looking for. This is a study of the differences between how American and French men and women meet, date and interact. It's really interesting. How much more fun would it be to have a dinner party than to be stuck on one of those one-on-one interview-style dates where you sweat over who is going to pay?! I couldn't help think of the dating scene in the Sex and The City show. Carrie and the girls seem to pride themselves on the fact that they don't cook, as though it were a sign of empowerment. You only see them eating in restaurants or eating take-out at home. Carrie says, "I use my oven as storage." I think one of the only dinner party scenes is when Mikhail Barishnokov (sp?) cooks for Carrie and her friends, and he is a sometime resident of Paris! I am married and bought this book to keep the love alive and also because I find the cross-cultural differences between the French and Americans very interesting. I lived in Paris for two years, did some "non-dating," and was always puzzled by male/female relations there. Still am! And still delighted by them too! I recommend this book to anyone looking for a different approach to dating, and to anyone who is married looking for a different approach to marriage (although I do not recommend having an affair). Also recommend this book to those who just like to learn more about human relationships. Really anyone could read it and enjoy it.

This book is great and filled with just the tips I needed. My husband is French-Algerian and we have had a frustrating 3 years of marriage and I was searching for recipes and cultural information that would help me understand better his view on life and boy are they different! I saw this on Amazon and thought "what have I got to lose?" We have to face facts, we are too fat in America, we have to walk for our health. Today, start parking your car further than usual and walk, and forget that fast walking crap, just enjoy the scenery! Walk slow! My husband always insist that a woman should be feminine (think the ladies on MadMen), he doesn't understand why I refuse to eat an apple a day. And he pulls his hair out when I complain about the girls at work (meow). So, to save my marriage I got to work, and this book explained those expectations clearly for me. One thing us American ladies do is put work at the forefront, and we SHOULD NOT, we should not tolerate stupid coworkers and catfights, we should go out to lunch with our colleagues instead of eating at our desk alone, we should not be "difficult" when patronizing places. In France, the wait staff/clerks will tell you to your face how demanding you are (it is better to be polite at ALL times). Everything has its' place and work issues should NEVER be brought home. And working overtime/weekends is a no no. Dressing age appropriate is a must, think twice about letting that grey hair show, and stop buying everything in the stores!! Be practical! Just don't buy anything that doesn't look good on you, or isn't good for your body. It's simple. Take a bath at least once a week (that will be my challenge, to simply indulge). Be as smart as you can. Forget those entertainment shows/magazines who cares about Mel Gibson?? I did not know the weekends are a time to look your best in France. Though I do run around in my sweats on the weekends, I will make sure I wear a well cut MATCHING set, sans perspiration. I have already reduced the amount of makeup that I wear when I got married, but too many of us go without anything on our faces and that's just not chic. It shows you care to put something on and it's very feminine as men do like to watch us get ready in the mornings. Of course ALWAYS wear a scent, and boots with skirts ( I don't care, I'm going to do it) . Pg.87 is the key page for me and I won't reveal too much in my review but I just had to write to tell you:BUY THIS BOOK! I will tell you, I will walk more, I will kiss my husband passionately when he leaves and returns home, and I will not put work first. And I will include a homemade "soup" at least once a week. He always ask for one, but I did not know how important it was in their culture. I guess it's like a grilled hamburger/hotdog is to us during the summer months. Great book, great author, read it, then read it again, then pass it along to someone else...au revoir!

I'm not french nor american. I'm a brazilian reader and I have to admit that, following simple tricks, women could really make their lives much more light and pleasurable. I loved this book as much as Hooking Up or Holding Out! So light, so delicious and fun to read! It was a real pleasure to read and to be delighted with juicy tips for making me feel better about myself.

And you know what? It really works! Some boys have already noticed how "french" I looked, even though I have no french relatives. It's amazing what the power of a skirt allied with confidence can do. I'm already under its effects and, well, gotta tell you it feels great! Can't make dinner parties living with mom and dad, but I'm letting my inner french girl flow and show her faces, laces and flowers.

Jamie Cat Callan's sage advice has opened my eyes and improved my overall appearance. Now I think twice before leaving the house in some old sweatshirt and jeans. She offers tips on how French women stay sexy right till the end. And I want some of that.

I CANNOT believe the positive reviews on this book. I received it from a friend who also thought it hysterical. How funny that despite the fact that French women do soooo many things right, they can't "keep" their men any more so than their American sisters. Affairs are rampant in France (as they are here in the US) by BOTH sides of the relationship and, as stated by the author, even more accepted there! So, what gives? What the heck difference does it make how you meet your guy? I know many women who have met their love through acquaintances, family, etc. I know that's how I met my husband. Nothing new there!

I also think that american women love creams, lingerie, beautiful clothes. Heck, Victoria's secret and all the gorgeous lingerie in department stores is not just sitting there waiting for the next tourist from France to shop. NO, we are all buying it. Same is true for the body shop, bath body works, and all the stuff sold by every major cosmetic company. We also love perfume in this country. Just look at the statistics on the yearly sales of these goods in the US and your head will spin. WE, American women are all buying it because we love it.

I think more than anything, the book speaks to speaks to the power of human nature. Do whatever you want, please your partner or not, be sexy or not, but in the end whether or not you "keep" him or her depends on his or her commitment to you and your relationship. I think it is wonderful to be sexy, smart, a good cook, etc. etc. etc., but PLEASE, do it all for yourself and yourself alone and NOT to hook or think that it will help you keep some guy or girl!!

I found French Women Don't Sleep Alone to be a quick, whimsical, and engaging read about what women can do to not only try and kick-start their love lives, but to also more fully engage their social lives in general. Whether it be married or single women, this book has something for everyone. I appreciated the myriad of tips found in this book: from paying more attention to how we put ourselves together, to creating more group-oriented social mixers, to simply remembering to take our time in all aspects of life -- there's plenty of "wonderful" to be gleaned within these pages. I've been to France more than once, and have seen first-hand the way French women put themselves together and always seem to look good. Callan unveils a lot of the mystery and reminds us of how we, too, can rediscover or reinvent our "ooh-la-la." I highly recommend the book!