Customer Reviews

101 Frequently Asked Questions About Homosexuality

5 star:		(10)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

The author does seem to be sincere in his advice. However, he's misguided in a couple of things. First, he seems to believe that homosexuality is a psychological disorder. He even quotes older editions of the DSM. But everyone knows that the APA made the decision in the 1970s to no longer list homosexuality as a psychological disorder.

Also, I was really confused at the beginning of this book because he uses "gender identity" as a synonym for "sexual orientation". Furthermore, he believes that homosexuals suffer from GID (Gender Identity Disorder). Gender identity is 101% different from sexual orientation; not all homosexuals have GID, and not everyone with GID is homosexual.

The research that Mr. Haley offers is, for the most part, outdated. I saw where some of his sources where from as early as the 1950s. Was there nothing more recent to back his claims?

Some of his advice was just plain silly. Like when he was giving advice about how to prevent homosexuality in your sons, he basically says that little boys should shower with their dad! Umm, do I need to say anything further? However, he does not say that little girls should shower with their mothers. We call that a double standard.

I also didn't like how he presented homosexuality. He made it look like the worst thing in the world. He also seems to think that all male homosexuals are feminine and all lesbians are butch. And he makes it sound like "the horrible gays are out to get us!"

So, overall, I'm sorry I waisted my money on this book (I did read the sample first, but I was still curious). Although some parts were amusing. I gave this book 2 stars only because some parts amused me and Mr. Haley does seem sincere.

This book is very informative in that it comes from the viewpoint of people who have been in this lifestyle for years. It is very inspiring in that it gives hope to those still in it and their families to never give up. This book did not change my mind regarding my beliefs about homosexuality but it did change my heart and my ideas of how I will respond to them. I believe this book is a must read for everyone!

It's funny that in just about every area of life, we consider someone who has personal experience with a topic to be an excellent offerer of insight on that topic: The recovering alcoholic mentors the guy just into treatment, and we applaud; people who exercised their way from fatness to fitness write books and make videos about how to lose weight, and we buy them; Donald Trump tells us how to master the art of the deal, and all's right with the world.

Strange, then, the hits Mike Haley is taking here for "101 Frequently Asked Questions About Homosexuality" -- criticism obviously motivated more by the critics' political agendas than by their reading of Haley's book.

And what about the book? Haley says it grew out of actual questions he's been asked by gays and family members and friends of gays during his travels across the country. He recreates those questions and offers straightforward, informative answers that are in no way filled with the kind of invective or judgment suggested by other reviewers here -- some of whom admit they haven't even read the book.

What Haley offers here is desperately needed, rendered in the spirit of Christian love and filtered through his experience not only as a former homosexual, but as a counselor. If you're the parent of a gay child, somebody who wants to better interact with a gay coworker or someone just coming to grips with your own same-sex attractions, you will find both hope and help in these pages.

I am deeply concerned about this issue, but though I feel strongly about my beliefs, I myself have never struggled with these tendencies; and though I will always condemn the action, I cannot fairly judge those who struggle. I accept the Bible, but I have only recently begun studying it, and I haven't gotten to the "gay" part yet; my belief about homosexual behavior stems from natural law, and is supported and reaffirmed by my Catholic faith.

What Haley's book did for me (well, doing; I haven't finished it yet) is give me informed answers from someone who actually knows what he's talking about. He addresses so many of the questions I have had, and I feel more equiped to approach the issue with more compassion, and appreciation, for those who struggle with homosexual tendencies. Although the Catholic Church itself understands that homosexual tendencies are not always (if ever) the fault of the individual, many members of the Church have yet to be educated, and as a result they often approach the issue with cruelty. Even if you don't agree with Haley's book, he gives those on our side the tools to approach the issue with compassion and understanding, and teaches us that cruelty is never effective, much less Christian behavior.

Moreover, the book, like my views, is a combination of natural law and the Bible, so it is effective even to those who do not accept Christianity.

Another very interesting comment he makes is in regard to the defeminization of women in our society (I highly recommend Wendy Shalit's book "Return to Modesty;" it changed my life). There was a time when I was subconsciously conflicted about the naturalness of sex; the Church teaches us that sex is natural, but society takes that a step further, saying that because it is natural we should give into it more frequently. After reading Shalit's book, I realized that I felt conflicted, not because my faith was constricting my sexuality, but because I was, subconsciously, giving into the modern idea, and that was causing an internal conflict because of its unnaturalness. Haley's reaffirmation of this idea impressed me, and further clarified the reason why a child might develop homosexual tendencies. I truly believe that this defeminization of women has caused the gentleman to all but disapear, respect for the weaknesses and strengths of the opposite sex to diminish, and we are looked down upon for having womanly (and manly) strengths; in an effort to provide an identity for all, our society has taken our identity away from us.

My only critique of this book (and I may change my mind on this after further reading) was his comment regarding how boys are different because they like to play in the dirt, whereas girls don't. Actually, I was constantly dirty as a child.:) However, what he is ultimately getting at is correct, in that, boys and girls are different.

To the individual who addressed concern regarding his advice to "pray that he feels pain," or something to that effect. No one wants to inflict pain on their child, which is why some parents do not address the issue at all. However, pain is part of healing in everyday life. One of the horrors of cancer is that pain is often not felt until it is too late. Parents of children who are born without pain receptors pray for their children to one day feel pain. The liberation of honesty can mute pain for a while, but only temporarily. Having a place where you are accepted, regardless of your behavior, also makes it difficult to face your pain; this is true in all cases, for all types of struggles.

I was pleasently suprised by the usefullness of this book. If you disagree with his beliefs, at least be mindful that he is helping us be more understanding and compassionate in an age of hate.

Much of the criticism aimed at this book misses the point: Many gay men and women and their families struggle with homosexuality, and they want help in understanding who they can trust to answer their concerns. Mike Haley is a brave man for trying to do something few others are willing to do.

I found the book honest, direct and respectful of the reader who really just wants the facts from someone who knows what he's talking about, and actually walks the talk. I enjoyed the practical suggestions to family members, based on what he and his family went through.

Mike has the ability to answer questions about this social topic with frankness and clear understanding not only from his point of view from being in that lifestyle, but also from the point of view biblically.

Wow! This book answered all of my questions about homosexuality and many, many more. Haley's compassionate way of answering questions shows understanding, love, and concern for those who are where he once was.

Haley's book stresses the importance of reaching out in love to family and friends who struggle with homosexuality. This book has been invaluable to me and my brother who has been seeking change in his own lifestyle. It has given me ways to respond to him that weren't offensive but helped to keep the channels of communication open and honest. My brother has been encouraged by the HOPE of change that Haley presents in his book. He is successfully walking through the healing process becoming the man that God originally intended for him to be.

Some of the other reviews listed here: They couldn't have read the same book I did. Political motivation? YOU BET.

Mike Haley, gay due to childhood verbal and sexual abuse, now ex-gay, except for the occasional "pesky little" temptation.
-His empathic approach comes across as nothing less than sincere. But like most anti-gay diatribes, this literary debacle is a plethora of conjugated malfeasance based on the assumption that it's not possible to be born gay, reinforced by the abuse of scripture.
-How can we trust the answers in this presentation of statistics, studies, scriptures and quotes? His "hope" is that we "trust" him.
-If you'd like to be ex-gay like Mike, here's a few things to consider. (Don't worry guys, you can keep your "flair for fashion" it's been an `asset' in his marriage.) Remember, if it applies to Mike Haley, it applies to you.
-First, your goal should be holiness. "That's because the opposite of homosexuality is not heterosexuality---it's holiness." And will only sometimes include "heterosexual desires". Most will have to live life without love in their "obedience" to God, who by the way, "is love, absolutely", except that "true love has boundaries". Therefore God's ABSOLUTE LOVE shared between homosexuals is simply evil.
-Think you Knew you were gay as young as five? Paraphrasing: Who at five years old could possibly even understand sexual attraction unless they were molested? Furthermore, since flawed thinking is the cause and effect of homosexuality, how can you even be sure that you ever were five years old?
-My personal favorite is his advice to parents with a son who's "never been happier" since coming out: While trying to change him you should "pray that he becomes as miserable as possible, as soon as possible". I wonder how many suicides he's directly responsible for influencing.
-Well Mike, here's F.A.Q. #102. If that's your idea of God's ABSOLUTE LOVE, what exactly is the appeal of spending eternity with people like you worshiping a god like that?

This book is great to have around as a go to resource. Since it handles so many topics, it's not very indepth, but there IS quite a bit of detail, and the resource pages in the back provide an extensive list of for those who want to explore further.
This is a good starting point for those who are just starting out to find answers on Homosexuality. I think that Mike does a good job of being honest and objective.