Customer Reviews

Fresh Out Of Hell: Escaping the Negative Influences of Toxic Parenting

5 star:		(11)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

Situations such as having a toxic parent (let alone two in the author's case) are anguishing, difficult and wrenching. Having experienced such parenting myself, and having similarly reacted in earlier life with alcohol and other problems similar to the author's own life responses, I was keenly interested to know how the author came to what I imagined to be triumph. She came to a point of seeing the necessity of accepting profound disapointment and grief about both the self-aborption of her parents which she continually experienced as well as accepting disappointment and grief about the healthy parenting she had missed. The author's own ultiimate arduous, painful resolution seemed to involve coming to the belief that she had to withdraw from certain relationships. I applaud the author for grappling through her struggle, for her honesty in sharing it and for her many years of remaining clean and sober. I don't know if it is a judgement on the author's resolution or not but I personally was hoping to learn new edifying skills or insights which for me were just not in the book. I did identify with and find cathartic her honesty about the perpetual disappointments of having narcissistic, thoroughly self-engrossed key relatives. That part I could relate with. I guess I was looking for new ways to feel capable and skilled IN relationship with such people.

Written with courage, insight, understanding and complete honesty, Ms. Kay peels open her childhood in hopes of reaching others. She states

facts of her life without rancor and shows us that abuse comes in many forms, some very insiduous and not easily seen from the outside. Her struggle to overcome her childhood is a roadmap to regaining yourself. A huge personal success and inspiration for others.

I have been working with artists for many years, training and assisting them to find their own way out of the hells that they find themselves in as the result of just the kind of life experiences as Alyson Kay describes so poignantly in this book. It is such an inspiration to read such an open, eloquent, and heartful book as this.

This book is one of the most insightful, emotionally candid, intuitive, passionately honest autobiographical books I've ever had the opportunity to read.

It is intimate; and if more people had the courage to look at what actually happened to them while trying to be a child, we could begin the real discoveries that will truly change the world.

It is extremely well written, constructed, and sequenced. Once you pick it up, you cannot put it down.

Its message is clear: We are moving toward an increasingly emotionally disconnected world which is indeed Hell itself. Congratulations to Kay Creatives' Alyson Kay for being one of the few 'fresh out of Hell'.

Most sincerely with love and respect,

Loree Lynn, CEO, Founder, and Head Instructor of DreaMakers Center for the Aspiring Performing Artist

I read this book from cover to cover and could not put it down. It is hard to imagine a parent not loving their child or even being intentionally cruel to them. There was never a time in my life that the love of my parents and guradian was ever an issue. I think this book will open doors to those who are in a similar situation. They more than likely think it is something they have done that caused their situation and through a book like this they can find out that even the trusted parents whom you relied upon the most may be the problem. Where do you turn when there is no one to turn to? I think Alyson painted a very graphic picture of that scenario. This is what I consider a must read for those who are in need of breaking out of the hell created by toxic parents.

Greg Middleton

Altadena, CA

While reading this book I saw a lot of similar experiences that I had with my own parents. My mother is bipolar back 20 years ago she was diagnosed manic depressive, but I did not know it when I was a child growing up. She used this illness as an excuse all the time but never acknowledge what she was doing to me. I am so glad I read this book. It has helped me see that I can make changes to myself and I don't have to be ashamed for not loving my mother because she didn't care about me.

My heart goes out to Alyson Kay, who wrote this memoir which I could not put down; as painful as it was to relive her story through her eyes. I grew up in an abusive environment and 42 years later, still am struggling to make sense of it all. Ms. Kay reminds me of myself: Trying so hard to be loved and accepted by her/my families, trying various careers, trying to keep true to herself/myself, still trying to keep her/our artistic talents alive. So many pages were like reading about myself and all Ms. Kay withstood, so did I. I was always certainly my mother's mother. Nothing I did ever pleased either parent and I applaud Ms. Kay for showing us that she persevered, and so can those of us who still try to make a go at Life each and every day. Her website is very gently written, too, and I wrote to Ms. Kay, and in less than 24 hours, she so thoughtfully responded to my anguish-filled letter, which I greatly appreciated. NOBODY should have to endure such heartbreak at ANY point in their/our lives; but it is especially difficult to be mistreat while we are children and positively NOBODY will listen to us, let alone help us to be removed from such toxic environments. May Alyson Kay continue to heal as each day passes.

I would like to thank the author

for her courage to share herself

so fully. I have thought of doing

this kind of thing several times,

but never could bring myself to do it.

I couldn't put the book down, but

by the time I got towards the end

of the book, I discovered that,

a) I share the same feelings of hurt,

anger, broken-ness deep down, RESENTMENT,

and b) I would like to accept and forgive

my abusive parent.

I'm only giving the book 4 stars, because

there is still that hopeful self in me, to

want to believe that despite the horrors

I've experienced, it wasn't done so for

personal reasons. Coming to terms with this

was much easier with reading Celani's book

called "Leaving Home."

Anyhow. I really do admire the author's

candor, and willingness to share such deep

feelings. Just feelings-wise, I felt like

I was reading about my own growing-up years.

There are many titles out there dealing with

the topic Toxic Parenting - and this was the

book I chose to spend my money on, and I am

glad I did. If anything though, I think on

some level, it helped me to be aware of my

own intensity as a person.

I hope the author is living a secure, happy life today!

Love, hugs,

reader from South Korea.

I read your book with great anticipation not knowing anything of your past. I was completely taken in by the remembrance of your growing up years. I happen to not remember mine. It was a great read and I hope your other readers will see the obstacles that can be overcome. I admire your strength and ability to survive in the deep ups and down of your life.

Love and much success, not so much financially but in living.

Bernie

This is definetely the best book describing a personal journay to recovery I have ever read. Alyson Kay made it simple yet deep and moving. A great read for anyone serching for strenght and insight. This book explain a lot about the invisible hell many people have to go through if they have been emotionally abused, and when their abuser/s presented an immaculate and respectable image to the external world. This book will teach them what to do in order to recover; it will validate their experiences; explain a lot about the origins of their current difficulties in handling life and people; and will give them hope.

Alyson briliantly and courageously relives the emotionaly rollercoaster one endures at the hands of severly mentally disturbed parents. She is able to bring to light the cruelty that is pasted on generation to generation by child abuse; creating scars that at times seem too massive to heal. She candidly reaveals the emotional turmoil that has the potential to last a lifetime, and can seem to habitually cyle without hope. Alyson brinhgs HOPE, she brings clarity, inspiration and freedom from a life that could otherwise be lived in darkness; without fully discovering and accepting truth. This book has truly changed my life.