Customer Reviews

A Friend of the Family

5 star:		(36)
4 star:		(23)
3 star:		(7)
2 star:		(4)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

By all accounts, Doctor Peter Dizinoff is living the American dream: he has risen from humble beginnings in Yonkers, New York, where his dad sold insurance and shared with Pete and his younger brother a dream of a bigger home and a better life. Through hard work and determination, Pete achieves this dream for himself as he earns a college scholarship and escapes the rough neighborhood.

While attending the University of Pittsburgh, Pete meets his eventual wife, Elaine. After college, the couple lives in a stately home in Round Hill, New Jersey, where Pete builds a thriving medical practice. Elaine, who has received a PhD in English Literature, is totally devoted to Pete. Following graduation, they manage to remain close with Joe and Iris Stern, good friends from their college days. Pete and Elaine have celebrated the births of all the Sterns' children --- from their first-born, Laura, to their other three kids --- all the while wondering why they themselves can't conceive even one child.

After years of battling infertility, Pete and Elaine are at last blessed with a son, Alec. Pete is unashamedly devoted to Alec and has pinned his hopes and dreams on his son's future. Now 20 years old, Alec has a mind of his own and a passion in art. He drops out of school to study art and lives in a studio apartment above his parents' garage...until someone from the past turns their lives upside down.

When she was a teenager, Laura Stern was accused of committing a crime so unbelievably heinous that the State of New Jersey was determined to lock her up for years. At the time, her parents believed she was mentally deficient and not responsible for her act. Convinced of her innocence and willing do everything in their power to keep her out of prison, the Sterns, especially Joe, risked their future to protect Laura.

After several years pass, Laura comes back home, and Alec immediately becomes fascinated with her and wants to follow her wherever she leads him. But Pete is determined to save his son from himself --- and especially from Laura's influence. During the turmoil of Laura's return, Pete becomes distracted from his practice and falls from grace. He is threatened with a medical malpractice suit and charged with a horrendous crime. As his life is spinning out of control, Pete readily admits, "I never was as grateful as I should have been for everything I had." There's a poignant message to be taken away from this story, one made all the more clear as you near the end.

A FRIEND OF THE FAMILY is a gripping novel with a mystery at its core. Lauren Grodstein has written a compelling story with unforgettable characters in unenviable situations. A story of love, control, friendship, courage and the sacrifices fathers make to protect their children, this engrossing book grabs you and doesn't let go.

--- Reviewed by Donna Volkenannt

A compelling story about the unintended consequences of a parent trying to do what he thinks is best for his only son. All parents who pour all their hopes and dreams into their children will see pieces of themselves in Dr. Pete. How far will we go to protect our children. A very readable book. It will give you many things to consider, long after you have closed the cover.

I picked this up in my local B&N on the new fiction shelf, intrigued by the inside flaps. The author wrote the novel very well, and it is pretty much a string of flashbacks/memories that lead up to the protagonists current position in life. Dr. Pete Dizinoff is currently awaiting the decisions on Tuesday that will ultimately affect the rest of his life. His relationship with his beloved wife is rocky, his ties with his long-time best-friends have been severed, his son despises him, and he is threatened with a medical malpractice lawsuit. The reader is enlightened on the events that lead up to this hurricane. And in the aftermath of the hurricane, all isn't lost but his over protection and control of his son eventually drives the two apart completely. Really a wonderful novel and I couldn't put it down. My only gripe is that it took so long to reach the meaty portion but hey, whatever.

SOME SPOILERS FOLLOW:


When I finished this book I thought .. .. HUH? Laura tells people Dr. Pete 'raped' her and given her history of mental problems, the wife (especially the wife)and son actually believe her? It just didn't make any sense! This man who stood beside her all of these years - through infertility and breast cancer - suddenly decides to rape his son's girlfriend. AND the best friend believing his daughter - and he knows the truth of her sexual past . . .What utter nonsense . . and WHAT is the problem with the son? An obnoxious character to say the least and the wife comes off as spoiled rotten. I have to say - the moment Dr. Pete hauled off and smacked Laura was most satisfying - and I'm not even a violent person:)

I'm sure there are people in life that you try very hard to like or love, but that will not allow you to like/love them, no matter how hard you try. A Friend of the Family, by Lauren Grodstein, explores this concept with amazing clarity and compassion by examining the pain, the joy, and the frustration. Ultimately, there must be some type of reconciliation, shouldn't there be?

The novel takes the reader on a journey of how a family dynamic can implode upon itself as members make decisions that have rippling effects. Although the novel is written from the perspective of Pete Dizindoff, a 50ish doctor who struggles with being a judgmental, fearful, wanna-be-when-compelled-religious Jew, the actions of another character, i.e. the "friend of the family" causes Pete to examine the "why" of his life. The "friend of the family" commits a morally unsound act that affects the emotional development of Pete's son, his best friend, his wife, and Pete's conscience.

The reader is treated to the inner workings of the minds of some not-so-likeable characters (especially the "friend of the family"), but is helped to feel compassion for them as the reader begins to feel empathy. This task is especially difficult to create in a situational, family drama novel where people commit moral atrocities, and I must applaud Ms. Grodstein for the exceptional way this is handled.

I read this novel a few weeks ago and I still think about it everyday. It has a cloying effect on one's mind. It's mostly because we all know people who bring frustration to our lives, who we find morally reprehensible, and disrupts our lives. However, it's how we deal with these people that makes the difference. In this novel, instead of making a hero out of the main character, the author shows us that in most of these situations, there usually isn't a hero - most of the time, we make a mistake we cannot change.

From the very first page and the well-executed movement from flashbacks within flashbacks, Lauren Grodstein captured my full attention. Narrated by the main character, Peter Dizinoff, M.D. an internist who believes he is liberal but wants a conservative, orderly life, the story is a both a mystery and the derailment of a family.

Centered around Dizinoff's family: wife Elaine and son Alec interacting and bonding with the Stern Family who have four children, they experience profound problems with Alec and the Stern's oldest daughter, Laura. Joe Stern is also an M.D., but he is a specialist, and Pete Dizinoff feels he is not quite as brilliant as the specialists. This story provides us with many observations and medical ranking is one of them. The novel opens when Pete's world is crashing down on him, he may be tried for malpractice, he has lost his upscale suburban offices and is relegated to sleeping above the family's garage. How did this all happen? Grobstein's flashback technique and use of nostalgia is brilliant.

Fraught with Alec's college drop out status and his obsession with his only child, a strong plot unfolds when Laura Stern returns to the Stern family after her wanderings. Her history (not to spoil the story) implodes her family and now directly affects Pete and his only child. Pete's obsession with Laura and her past consume him and can capsize his marriage and the flimsy connection to his only child. At one point, Pete describes Laura "and she ran a carcinogenic hand up and down my son's bare wrist."

There is also a Jewish family culture, which impacted the Dizinoffs and the Sterns. The two couples were brought up in strong Jewish homes with smart, loving parents and had been rather observant in their religion. As they grew into successful adults, they may have lost some of the rituals but they hung onto some Jewish guilt, fierce protection of their children and unfailing pursuit of education as a means to success. Their passion for the families is a steady fixation. I had a hard time putting this book down.

I read a lot of press about this book but it was a major disappointment to me. I failed to see the "great writing" about which I had read.

The anticipation was not worth the result and the writing was overly dramatic. The plot development was SO SLOW. I hated the foreshadowing and the jumping back and forth in time. Sometimes I would get a couple of sentences into a paragraph and then realize she had shifted time YET AGAIN. Annoying.

There was way too much detail, but about what?.....something the reader did not really know about, that was not revealed until the last few pages (the reason for Pete's banishment to the garage). So how are we supposed to care? By then I had lost interest. The author did not know when to stop building suspense and tell the darn story! I realized that Pete was in agonizing mental pain, loved his wife and son....but Grodstein kept beating the reader over the head with these facts. Too much manipulation by the author.

The book was full of characters I did not care about....and way too much writing about things that had nothing to do with the story and detracted from it.

The ending (from the time Pete went into NY to confront Laura to the end of the book) seemed tacked on. Her revelations made absolutely no sense and the story of Roseanne was not at all integrated into the novel --- the accusations seemed absurd given Pete's marginal interaction with her as a patient. The fallout from all of Pete's woes seemed false and forced. Not well done at all.

I usually do not stick with books to which I give two stars, but I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. My opinion: much ado about not much.

This was the first book in years that I simply could not put down. Beautifully wrought, it is the story of suburban New Jersey doctor, his wife and only child, their best friends from college who live nearby, and the trouble that ensues when the friends' oldest daughter, a troubled 30 year old, returns home. Dr. Pete and his wife Elaine's son, Alec, has dropped out of college to pursue his art, and comes under the spell of the 30 year old. Both Elaine and Pete would like to get Alec back on track to finish college, but they differ in their approaches to get impressionable 19 year old Alec to do what he should. Once 30 year old Laura enters the picture, the scenario gets ever more complicated.

At the heart of this story is the interaction of husband and wife of 25 years, and their struggles to keep their son moving forward. The dialogue and scenes with friends and family are so believable, that it is easy to forget that this is a novel. You really are inside Dr. Pete's head, and while the tension in the story builds slowly, it keeps you reading, and frankly, makes you not just a little nervous about what Dr. Pete might do.

One of the best new novels I have read in many years!

This novel is a beautiful portrayal of the desperation of desire, the innocence of love and the pain of loss. A pleasure to read for the entire duration, I have bought copies to give to all of my extended family for the holiday season. Grodstein is an emerging new voice of incredible depth and perception; funny at times, I laughed out loud, then nearly set to sobbing. A fine piece of literature and an intuitive look into our own prejudices, mistakes and sense of community.

Lauren Grodstein deserves her starred review and all the praise that's been heaped on her. With "A Friend of the Family," Grodstein achieves a difficult literary challenge: creating a first-person protagonist who goes from sympathetic to despicable in the course of the book. Like Philip Roth, Grodstein finds great drama in seemingly conventional New Jersey Jewish family. She layers in backstory and cultural history with the deft touch of a true pro.