Friending: Real Relationships in a Virtual World [Paperback]

Lynne M. Baab (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 5, 2011

The notion of friendship is under broad review. A highly mobile and increasingly busy society--rootless, some might argue--means that most of our relationships can't depend solely on face-to-face contact to flourish. The increasing prominence of the virtual landscape--where the language of friendship has been co-opted to describe relationships ranging from intimate to meaningless--requires that we become fluent in ever-expanding relational technologies. It's never been easy to be a friend, but it seems to be getting tougher by the nanosecond. In Friending, Lynne Baab collects the insights, hopes and regrets of people from across the spectrum of age and life circumstance and syncs them with the wisdom of the Bible. Using Colossians 3 and 1 Corinthians 13 as touchpoints, Lynne shows us how we can celebrate and strengthen our relational ties while continuing to practice the timeless discipline of friending in our time.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Challenging those who decry online communication as shallow and banal, Friending offers guidelines and multiple examples of the way close relationships can be maintained and deepened through Facebook and other Internet connections. Writing in the brisk style of digital messaging, Lynne Baab convincingly shows how the biblical virtues of caring, sharing, loving and forgiving can survive and thrive in a world where busyness and mobility have become the norm." (Em Griffin, Professor Emeritus, Wheaton College)

"Lynne Baab has written a warm and practical meditation on friendship that embraces all of the challenges and opportunities that accompany its practice in our day and age. In fact, there is little about this topic that Baab does not address. While that may be attributable to her skill as a researcher and a writer, it is as likely that she writes from her own deep commitment to and experience of friendship. Like friendship itself, Baab's book is a rich resource that invites and rewards personal investment. Make friends with this book." (Tim Keel, author of Intuitive Leadership: Embracing a Paradigm of Metaphor, Narrative, and Chaos)

"Friends are so important to me! But today there are more forces pushing us apart--as well as new media to bring us together--than ever before in history. Lynne Baab explores a world of options and encourages us to redevelop the art of friendship for a new era. This book is full of practical tools, winsome stories and keen insights. I'm hooked." (Dr. Steve Hayner, president, Columbia Theological Seminary)

"Lynne Baab offers interesting reflection on the changing nature of friendship in a networked society, where relationships are increasingly cultivated and sustained through social media. Using engaging real-life examples she asks important questions about how friendships may be shaped in certain directions when mediated through technology and the potential spiritual consequences of these interactions. Importantly the book calls readers to personally consider the intentionality and motivations behind their own friendship practices to uncover what values they stem from and the social world they may cultivate." (Heidi Campbell, Ph.D., author of Exploring Religious Community Online)

"As we've come to expect from Lynne Baab, inside Friending are thoughtful questions, fascinating research and excellent biblical analysis. I found her discussion on the new wave of technology and how this impacts relationships quite illuminating. This would be an excellent book for small groups to discuss and for anyone who wants help in how to be a faithful friend--to God, to our families and to our circle of friends." (Rebecca Manley Pippert, author, Out of the Saltshaker and Into the World)

Product Details

• Paperback: 187 pages
• Publisher: IVP Books (April 5, 2011)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0830834192
• ISBN-13: 978-0830834198
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.6 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (10 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,326,178 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

2012 and 2013 have been exciting years for me as a writer. My ninth non-fiction book was published in 2012. I love the title, which I did not dream up! Joy Together: Spiritual Practices for Your Congregation focuses on ways groups of people can engage in spiritual practices together, such as thankfulness, fasting, sabbath keeping, contemplative prayer and others. There's a chapter on the ways these spiritual practices play a role in discernment, and another chapter that addresses some of the recent criticisms of spiritual practices.

Also in 2012, I published a murder mystery for Kindle. The title is Dead Sea: A Novel, and the story is set in Israel and Jordan. Come and do some travelling with Samantha, a reluctant guide on an archaeological tour, who helps a police detective unravel the mystery. The book includes questions for book groups. A sequel to Dead Sea, with the title Deadly Murmurs: A Novel, was published in early 2013.

I'm rejoicing about another recent release, the kindle version of my book on midlife spirituality, A Renewed Spirituality: Finding Fresh Paths at Midlife.

I invite you to visit my website, www.lynnebaab.com, to learn more about my books and to read articles I've written on some of the same topics as the books. You can find me on Facebook as Lynne Baab and on Twitter as @lynnebaab.

I'm currently working on a sequel to Deadly Murmurs, as well as a non-fiction book on listening in congregations which will be published by The Alban Institute in 2014.

I teach pastoral theology at a university in Dunedin, New Zealand. I am still deeply engaged with the topics I've written about it my books. I keep a sabbath every week and I still see fasting as a significant way to disengage with the consumer culture. I love and practice a variety of spiritual disciplines which are meaningful to me and have shaped my spiritual life. I still enjoy thinking about and talking about personality type and issues of midlife, and I continue to speak and teach about preventing burnout among Christian leaders. And I still love my friends, who have been such a gift to me.

I am so grateful for the privilege of being a writer. If you have read my books, thank you. If you choose to purchase one of my books for the first time, I hope and pray that it will stimulate your thinking and encourage you to draw near to God in love, joy and obedience.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Encouraging book about friendship April 22, 2011

By L. Keosababian

Format:Paperback

I apprecicate Lynne Baab's approach to writing about friendship. She includes many personal stories from her own life and her friends and family, but then also adds in stories from the many people she interviewed for this book. Baab uses these stories along with the application of academic research and Scripture to provide lessons on friendship.

I especially liked the way that she kept bringing the discussion back to 1 Corinthians 13 and Colossions 3. It is easy to only associate 1 Cor 13 with weddings so it was good to rememember that same concepts about love apply to friendship. How can I be a patient and kind friend, who doesn't get irritated or resentful and who doesn't insist on my own way? Baab provides helpful suggestions for answering this question.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Friending - Highly Recommended April 22, 2011

By M. Easter

Format:Paperback

Baab's newest book creatively and thoughtfully explores what friendship looks like in the current online social networking age (with particular attention to Facebook). Responding to those critics who charge that online social networking will lead inevitably to the destruction of friendship, Baab demonstrates how online social networking, when used properly, can in fact help nurture standing friendships or grow new ones. Many of the critiques of online social networking, we learn, are not much unlike the critiques of the telephone a century ago. For Baab, online social networking may also help highlight truths about friendship. For example, Baab notes how social networking online has made "friend" a verb. We "friend" or "defriend" people. The verb "to friend," she explains, helps illuminate how "being a friend involves significant actions of caring and commitment. The adage `The only way to have a friend is to be a friend' is still profound and true. Learning how to be a friend and engaging consistently in actions that express friendship reflect the reality that friendship is more like a verb than a noun" (page 18).

"Friending" is thoughtful, nuanced, and easy to read. It would be an excellent resource for small group study (each chapter concludes with questions for discussion). I highly recommend this book.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Friending review April 18, 2011

By Reviewer

Format:Paperback

Those familiar with earlier books by Lynne Baab will be pleased but not surprised by this latest offering. It combines insights from the Scriptures and from secular academic sources, interspersed with lots of personal stories from her own life and that of her many friends.

Much of the material in the first five chapters on technology and friendship could not have been written twenty, ten or in some cases five years ago. Baab avoids one size fits all generalizations. No, Facebook and texting do not automatically lead to superficial relationships, but one needs to use them wisely. Yes, twenty-somethings are more likely to text than are seventy-year-olds, but there are many exceptions to the generational stereotypes.

Chapter 6, "Friendship With God," and the last seven chapters on the nuts and bolts of friendship include examples from biblical times and on up to today. Baab includes such topics as Initiating, Listening, Praying, Forgiving, Being Together, and Being Apart.

Each chapter includes a series of thought-provoking questions that encourage personal or group study. Several ways to profit from this book immediately came to my mind while reading it.

The first chapters helped me, someone who learned to be a friend before the computer age, to understand the value of recent technology in strengthening or even forming healthy friendships. Those who never knew a time without e-mailing, texting, and Twitter would find the same material helpful in reflecting on the pros and cons of these technologies. Parents (or grandparents) and children could have fruitful conversations on these chapters.

The latter chapters serve as a springboard for those who want to think more deeply about friendship in their lives. For some, the material helps to clarify what went wrong in a friendship, or why their friendships don't seem to last. Others will welcome ideas on how to reach beyond their current circle of friendships, and how to protect and nurture friendships. Those stressed with the felt obligation of keeping track of too many friends might be intrigued by Baab's suggestion in the last chapter to consider befriending loneliness.

So pick up a copy, read it, ponder the questions, and perhaps get a few copies for your parents, your children, your friends, or your study group.