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9 of 10 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Handbook for twentysomethings from shaking hands to holding hands, December 29, 2005
This review is from: Friendlationships: From Like, to Like Like, to Love in Your Twenties (Paperback)
Dozens of books promise help for guy/girl relationships. Why should you look at yet another? You're in your twenties. You're not married or engaged. You don't belong to either extreme: dating without a thought to the future or not speaking to a guy unless you're courting. You don't want a book for teens or one that drones on about the benefits of being "single and satisfied." But the number one reason you should look at this book is if you have a crush on a friend or a friend has a crush on you. Why? Because no other book seems willing to tackle that delicate, nerve-wracking dance from friendship to relationship. While the discussion of "friendlationships" only takes up two chapters rather than the entire book, much is covered, though you'll probably wish Jeff Taylor dived a little deeper. The rest of the book is also well worth reading, despite including several issues taught in other books on Christian dating: boundaries, sex, define the relationship talks. Jeff offers fresh insights on being single in a couples culture, asking pointed questions like, "Do you come to church to worship God or to meet people of the opposite sex?" and advising dating couples not to ignore or look down on their single friends. Another chapter discusses what to do if you like someone who is already in a relationship, or if you are the one already in a relationship. Often overlooked topics like emotional baggage, long-distance relationships, and gender roles are brought up as well. The whipped topping and cherry of the book come with the two appendixes: The Actual Female Survey and The Real Man Survey. Jeff asked 50 guys and 50 girls insightful questions about dating, from age preferences to qualities they avoid in the opposite sex. Some of the answers are given as demographic percentages; others give the participants' essay-like responses. Friendlationships covers a lot of ground in a fairly quick read, which was my only frustration with the book. I kept wishing the author would go deeper, expound more on vital topics. Beyond that, the book excels in every area - reader friendly format, on-target examples from the author's life and current media, Scriptural principles, and practical applications. The cover says it all - this is the handbook for twentysomethings while they go from shaking hands to holding hands. -- Katie Hart, Christian Book Previews.com
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Valuable Insight - Less of an action plan than I'd expected, September 18, 2007
This review is from: Friendlationships: From Like, to Like Like, to Love in Your Twenties (Paperback)
Friendlationships by Jeff Taylor is a very quick read. I actually read through most of the book (I skipped over a lot of the F.A.Q.s chapter) in less than two hours. It's a good book to keep on your bookshelf, and I definitely recommend it for a college and post-college age group (I am in the latter, just recently). As for older adults, it can be valuable but maybe not enough. Even for me, I look forward to reading a few other books in this genre before feeling adequately educated on this subject. It's a very helpful book if you like a friend of yours, but aren't sure whether he or she likes you back. He takes a concept most people write off as sophomoric and validates the very adult reality of relationships. I recommend this to Christian adult singles as well as those in dating relationships. If you have ever considered courtship, this is a good book to keep around. Hope that helps you make a decision!
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2.0 out of 5 stars
Not a book for women, December 14, 2011
I was excited to order this book based on the positive reviews. And for the first nine chapters, I was pretty much on board. Taylor comes across as likeable and knowledgeable, and he gives a lot of good advice about all of the awkward social dances that surround dating in college and the following years. He tries to address both women and men, and generally succeeds, though he occasionally speaks from a point of view that seemed very "guy-minded" to me. Not in a sexist way, but more of a being-a-guy way (it would have been interesting if he'd co-written the book with a woman). All of that changed in Chapter 9, which is titled "Chivalry or Chauvinism?". Gender roles are always tricky to negotiate, and it might have been better if Taylor had avoided the topic altogether instead of trying to cover it in one short chapter. Instead, the chapter contains several passages that made me want to stop reading because they went beyond the kind of one-sidedness that I could forgive in a male writer. As an example, consider the way Taylor employs and interprets an idea borrowed from John Piper about the man as spiritual leader over his wife: "In What's the Difference, John Piper discusses a very effective rule about being a spiritual leader. He says that the man, as the leader, has the final say in any and all situations (unless he is acting sinfully) but will and should often give up what he wants in situations where sin is not present so that his wife can have her preference. This may not sound fair, guys, but it is all about making her happy and making her feel important" (p.119). I'll try to refrain from using sarcasm here. But he thinks this may not sound fair to the GUYS? I do not want a husband who exercises supreme authority in "any and all situations" and deigns to let me make choices just to make me "feel important." Whatever happened to compromise? Taylor backtracks later and makes it clear that he isn't a chauvinist, but the damage was done, and this was not the only passage that I found offensive. As to The Actual Female Survey and The Real Man Survey extolled by another review, both are highly unscientific surveys of only 50 subjects each...and 68-78% of the respondents are from Texas. As a statistics student, I would hesitate to draw any conclusion about such a limited pool of data. But just for fun, the survey answers are printed in the back of the book. For every answer to the question "Should the guy always ask the girl out? Explain." that gave me hope, there were at least two (from both men and women) that made me weep for the future.
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