Friends for Life: Enriching the Bond between Mothers and Their Adult Daughters [Paperback]

Susan Jonas (Author), Marilyn Nissenson (Author)

Book Description

Series: Harvest Book | Publication Date: May 1, 1998

Drawing on interviews, expert advice, and the authors’ own experiences, this wise, inspiring book will “aid every woman who has a mother, is a mother, or hopes to become one” (New York Times).

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

There is an abundance of books designed to aid parents in guiding their children through adolescence, but few are aimed at those whose kids are no longer kids. Since the role of parent is never outgrown (as desirable as the idea may sound at times), a new communication approach is necessary for parents to foster a close bond with their adult children. With daughters in their 20s, Susan Jonas and Marilyn Nissenson are familiar with the unique mother-daughter dynamic and the inherent paradox in bridging the gap between friendship and mothering. Friends for Life is their attempt to assuage the confusion by sharing the wisdom gathered by various women. To help answer their questions, the authors enlisted some experts in the field, interviewing more than 100 mothers from across the U.S. about the joys, frustrations, and complexities of simultaneously reaching out and letting go. The compilation of experience, warnings, and words of wisdom is both instructive and endearing, and the anecdotes are sure to elicit nods of recognition. Touchy subjects such as selecting a partner, choosing a career, and lifestyle choices are discussed honestly and fairly, accounting for generational differences and malleable societal norms. There is a razor-fine line between dispensing advice and nagging, between expectations and unconditional support, and the authors argue that recognizing these boundaries is essential to a healthy and loving relationship with a daughter. As with most good advice, the real value is in spreading it around. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Library Journal

Jonas and Nissenson, who have collaborated before (e.g., Going, Going, Gone: Vanishing America, Chronicle, 1994. pap.), have put together a coherent and engrossing work. Their experiences with their own daughters propelled them to examine the relationships between other mothers and their grown daughters. Accordingly, they interviewed 113 women across the country. Although the authors admit that their sample isn't statistically valid, they did try to interview mothers of all races and socioeconomic backgrounds. They then fit their material into such chapters as "When Your Daughter Lives at Home" and "Your Expectations and Her Life." The authors skillfully link bits of the interviews to make their chapters flow smoothly, without relying on morphing together two or more interviewees to create one "good" story. As a result, the women's stories ring true. Appropriate for all public libraries; academic libraries should also consider for the rich oral history.?Pamela A. Matthews, Univ. of Maryland Lib., Baltimore
Copyright 1997 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 384 pages
• Publisher: Mariner Books (May 1, 1998)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0156005913
• ISBN-13: 978-0156005913
• Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,868,110 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

12 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Dysfunctional Families, September 5, 2000

By 

B. Welch "welciea" (Tennesee) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

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This review is from: Friends for Life: Enriching the Bond between Mothers and Their Adult Daughters (Paperback)

I found the title misleading (to say the least). This book is filled with stories about dysfunctional families. If you enjoy watching daytime talk shows you will enjoy this book; but if you want to enrich your mother-daughter bond; this one is not for you.

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars What's with That? Great book!, March 8, 2003

By A Customer

This review is from: Friends for Life: Enriching the Bond between Mothers and Their Adult Daughters (Paperback)

I found the book to provide useful insights into the mother daughter relationships that apply to my own life with my mother AND with my daughter. Life with daughter (especially teens) is sometimes like a soap opera, but understanding more, gives me the ability to keep it from being so.

5.0 out of 5 stars I am so glad I found this book!, October 19, 2011

By 

melindalee - See all my reviews

This review is from: Friends for Life: Enriching the Bond Between Mothers and Their Adult Daughters (Paperback)

What a wonderful job these authors did of weaving the women's stories they interviewed, their own stories and the advice from a therapist or psychologist thru-out this book . I feel this is book is relevant now as it was over a decade ago. Yes, our grown daughters move out, move back in, get married, get divorced, have children we must help raise, get abortions...and a whole host of other very real issues. Some people may not want to face their daughters may deal with these issues, but they do and I find this book gives real accounts and also how they are dealt with in the real world. I can't understand how one reviewer called this a book about dysfunctional families...to many people it is called life! and the women were dealing head on with the issues for the most part and being very real about them...is that dysfunction? Maybe it was because some of the daughters had children out of wedlock or the divorces or even the abortions? I am not sure,but if you are looking for a real guide for very real issues with your adult daughter(minus issues about poverty, drug abuse or serious mental illness, as the authors state in the preface why they did not choose to deal with those issues in this book) then this is a great book for us mothers.

P.s. I have a friend who could never tell her mother anything that was not viewed as "perfect" by society's standards or she would have cried dysfunction also... this mother could have never guessed her"perfect" daughter had an abortion, was hooked on downers and is now having an affair...she cannot go to her mother for any advice and to me that is dysfunction!