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Friendshifts : The Power of Friendship and How It Shapes Our Lives
 
 
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Friendshifts : The Power of Friendship and How It Shapes Our Lives [Hardcover]

Jan Yager (Author)
4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (19 customer reviews)


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Hardcover, March 11, 1997 --  
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Book Description

March 11, 1997
The right friends will help you thrive and succeed in life while the wrong friends can get you killed. Friendshifts will show you how to recognize the difference between healthy and destructive friendships as well as how to develop and maintain those friendships that will contribute to a longer, happier, and more successful life. Friendshifts, the word coined by friendship expert and sociologist Dr. Jan Yager, explains how friendships shift as we go from one stage in our life to another. The variety of roles we play throughout our lives - as student, worker, boss, spouse, or parent - changes, shifting the role that friendship plays.


Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

A rewarding, sensible self-help manual for making, keeping and improving friendships, sociologist Yager's how-to takes its title from a word she coined, which refers to the way friendships change as we move through life's stages. Drawing on hundreds of interviews with adults, children, teenagers, workers and executives, she examines the challenges to friendship posed by marriage, divorce, parenthood, job changes and geographic relocation. Yager, whose 10 nonfiction books include Single in America, has distilled a morass of psychological and sociological research, including her own. Among her findings: it takes an average of three years to form a genuine friendship; women, as they advance in the corporate hierarchy, increasingly distrust workplace friendships, whereas men open up and trust these friends more; friendships can be a source of help for dysfunctional families, and for adults who had poor early relationships with parents or siblings. This primer amply supports its central message, that friends are vital to our emotional health.
Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Library Journal

"Friendshifts" is the word that sociologist Yager (Business Protocol: How To Survive & Succeed in Business, LJ 6/15/91) invented to explain how friendships change throughout life. Drawing on her own research, Yager discusses how friendships develop and how changes such as relocation, marriage, or a new job often provoke changes in relationships. Yager sees making friends as a skill that can be learned, but she cautions that each friendship is unique, with its own rules and privileges. Arguing that shared values are more important in predicting the longevity of a friendship than shared interests, Yager gives practical advice on how to nurture new friendships, maintain old friendships, salvage shaky friendships, and terminate destructive ones. Friendships at work, friendships with relatives, and ethnic, racial, and gender friendship patterns are also covered. Throughout, Yager ably demonstrates how friends can improve the quality of our lives, enhance our self-esteem, provide encouragement, and compensate for family defects. Well recommended for public libraries.
Lucille M. Boone, San Jose P.L., Cal.
Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 269 pages
  • Publisher: Hannacroix Creek Books; 1St Edition edition (March 11, 1997)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1889262005
  • ISBN-13: 978-1889262000
  • Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6.1 x 1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.4 pounds
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (19 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,817,109 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

I wrote a novel when I was ten and a full-length play when I was thirteen. In junior high school and high school, first a reporter and then a reporter as well as feature editor of the school newspapers. I began researching my first nonfiction book while still a junior in college. In a public speaking class, I decided to research the history of vegetarianism for my topic. The research was totally engrossing and it led my around the world -- to India, Germany, England, and other countries in Europe -- and it took me eight years till that first book was published by Scribner's when I was twenty-six years old. I love to read as well as write; I love to go to the theatre (as well as write plays), go to the movies (as well as write screenplays), and travel. I love people so it's hard for me to put the hours in that writing and rewriting requires but I do it because I have a need to share with others through my writings -- books, articles, and poems. My plays and screenplays are yet to be produced but I know someday it will happen.

I'm often asked what is my favorite book that I've written? That's a tough question to answer because each book represents a very special and powerful experience for me, from my five year study of crime victims, which led to VICTIMS (published by Scribner's) to my trilogy of friendship books: FRIENDSHIFTS: THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP AND HOW IT SHAPES OUR LIVES (published by Hannacroix Creek Books, Inc.) which led to interviews on OPRAH, THE VIEW, TODAY SHOW, EARLY SHOW, SUNDAY MORNING, GOOD MORNING AMERICA, and other programs; WHEN FRIENDSHIP HURTS (Simon & Schuster, Inc., Fireside), which led to major TV interviews AND author tours in the U.S. PLUS Australia and New Zealand for the Finch Publishing edition (Australian) of the book; and WHO'S THAT SITTING AT MY DESK? WORKSHIP, FRIENDSHIP, OR FOE? (published by Hannacroix Creek Books), on work and friendship.

I enjoy hearing from readers even though a personal reply can't be guaranteed.

My academic credentials include a Ph.D. in sociology from The City University of New York, an M.A. in criminal justice from Goddard College, and a year of graduate work in art therapy at Hahnemann Medical College. In addition to writing, I am a professional speaker as well as a coach. I have been speaking, or conducting workshops, since my mid-twenties before a variety of corporate, association, and government agencies, companies, or meetings. My topics include time management -- I'm author of three books on time management including WORK LESS, DO MORE (Sterling, 2008), CREATIVE TIME MANAGEMENT FOR THE NEW MILLENNIUM (Hannacroix Creek Books, 1999), and CREATIVE TIME MANAGEMENT (Prentice-Hall, 1984)-- business protocol (BUSINESS PROTOCOL, Wiley, 1991; 2nd edition, Hannacroix Creek Books, 2001); friendship (books noted above); and work relationships.

Although the majority of my books are nonfiction, I've also had my fiction published including two suspense novels co-authored with Fred Yager: UNTIMELY DEATH and JUST YOUR EVERYDAY PEOPLE. I look forward to the publication of my first solo novel at some point.

I have had one or multiple nonfiction and fiction books translated into more than twenty languages; it's wonderful and rewarding to know that readers around the world are discovering my books.

Writing a book is hard work but it is very rewarding and I feel privileged and honored to be a book author. Each new book publication is exhilarating and exciting.

I'm also working fulltime as Director of Publicity and Subsidiary & Foreign Rights for a dynamic new publishing company. It's very rewarding to use what I've learned through my various jobs in publishing over the years -- first at Macmillan, followed by Grove, and then running my own small press as well as being a published author with several excellent houses -- to help a new company and its authors and books to obtain broadcast or print publicity as well as subsidiary or international publishing opportunities.

Although authors are, of course, crucial, readers are key as well. Whether you read a book by borrowing it from the library, excerpts or the whole book for free on the Internet or your mobile phone, or you buy it to read and add to your personal or professional library, or to give it as a gift, I thank you for your interest in reading and books, my own, of course, included!



 

Customer Reviews

19 Reviews
5 star:
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Average Customer Review
4.5 out of 5 stars (19 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

16 of 17 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars A useful read!, July 28, 2004
Understanding the changes that friendships go through is the first step to helping them last. This book helps you to do that. It gives the reasons behind why friends act and say the things they do, and how to handle shifts throughout the course of life. I wished I had read this book sooner-it may have helped me understand my own friendships more.And the advice here may help you to make an educated choice on whether to continue a friendship or end it. A great read and highly recommended.
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17 of 19 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Friends tell us who we are, April 1, 2003
No matter what stage in life we are in, friends are needed for sharing experiences and receiving support whether if good or bad things happen to us. They are our mental `lifesavers' and without them we do much worse and are more woundable. Like our family, our friends are the reason for the persons we are and participate in shaping our life as we grow.

The author, Dr. Jan Yager has a Ph.D in sociology and her books are also based on interviews and surveys. She has created the word Friendshifts® to show us the way our friendships change as we go from one stage in life to another.

Our friendships change as our life does. We make friends in our childhood, as teens, as adults, and in our elderly life. We form new friends by moving, change in interests, entering a new school or getting a new job, a promotion or a new sport.

More insights in this book are how to be a better friend, how to prevent a friendship from ending and how we handle it when it does. Furthermore, it tells us about friendships at work and gender friendships.

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17 of 19 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars one of the best I've ever read!, December 21, 2000
Friendshifts is one my favorite books of all time! I read it cover to cover and still keep it at my bedside as a reference! It has helped me to understand why some of my friendships have lasted 20 years and others only 20 minutes! What I found most interesting though, were the insights into all of the relationships in between. This book has helped me to discover why I may maintain a relationship with someone I instinctively prefer to hold at arm's length, and why I sometimes manage to lose touch with someone I hold dear. Friendships are an enormous part of my life and to understand them better, and to understand myself better, is nothing short of a blessing to me. I highly recommend this book to anyone interested in the many facets of friendship.
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First Sentence:
One Sunday afternoon about a year ago, I called my close friend Joyce just to say hello, but she was not home. Read the first page
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
New York, New Jersey, Great Friend Approach, United States, Modern Friend Approach, Dale Carnegie, Long Island, Los Angeles, Oliver Crom, Professor Sung, The Wall Street Journal, Tom Cheney, Society of Human Resource Management
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