Customer Reviews

Friendshifts: The Power of Friendship and How It Shapes Our Lives

5 star:		(15)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

Understanding the changes that friendships go through is the first step to helping them last. This book helps you to do that. It gives the reasons behind why friends act and say the things they do, and how to handle shifts throughout the course of life. I wished I had read this book sooner-it may have helped me understand my own friendships more.And the advice here may help you to make an educated choice on whether to continue a friendship or end it. A great read and highly recommended.

No matter what stage in life we are in, friends are needed for sharing experiences and receiving support whether if good or bad things happen to us. They are our mental `lifesavers' and without them we do much worse and are more woundable. Like our family, our friends are the reason for the persons we are and participate in shaping our life as we grow.

The author, Dr. Jan Yager has a Ph.D in sociology and her books are also based on interviews and surveys. She has created the word Friendshifts® to show us the way our friendships change as we go from one stage in life to another.

Our friendships change as our life does. We make friends in our childhood, as teens, as adults, and in our elderly life. We form new friends by moving, change in interests, entering a new school or getting a new job, a promotion or a new sport.

More insights in this book are how to be a better friend, how to prevent a friendship from ending and how we handle it when it does. Furthermore, it tells us about friendships at work and gender friendships.

Friendshifts is one my favorite books of all time! I read it cover to cover and still keep it at my bedside as a reference! It has helped me to understand why some of my friendships have lasted 20 years and others only 20 minutes! What I found most interesting though, were the insights into all of the relationships in between. This book has helped me to discover why I may maintain a relationship with someone I instinctively prefer to hold at arm's length, and why I sometimes manage to lose touch with someone I hold dear. Friendships are an enormous part of my life and to understand them better, and to understand myself better, is nothing short of a blessing to me. I highly recommend this book to anyone interested in the many facets of friendship.

Dr. Yager's thoughtful and encouraging book about relationships and their complexity is oblviously the result of important research and an ability to synthesize information and take the step to original thinking. This book is not a rehash of old homilies about making friends and keeping them. It is an examination of our deepest desires and motivations in regard to friendship. It reveals to us the ways in which we can make friendships happen, helps us to understand why friendships fail, and almost certainly makes us better friends. I recommend this book to anyone who has questions about relating to others and hopes to enrich their lives and their friends' lives.

What a great look at ourselves and our relationshiips. It seems in this fast-paced world the friend relationships seem to be one of the most challenging. Dr. Yager addresses all aspects of friendship and how it can be a benefit or detriment to us and our lives. I haven't always made the best choices when it came to friends in my life, however after reading her book, I will make different choices and be more able to make ones that nurture me rather than control or take away from the person I really am. This book helped me see myself in a whole new light and my friendships. I have been able to make assertive steps toward controlling relationships and I have watched the friendship shift right before my eyes thanks to the encouragement and wisdom shared in this book. I think it would help any of us that are struggling with relationships know how to develop meaningful friendships that enhance our lives and our experiences with deeper meaning. I wouldn't hesitate to recommend this book to anyone who wants to surround themselves with the right kind of friends....for them... and handle the relationships that are troubling.

Throughout our lives, friendships are among the most enduring and treasured relationships. They are often complex and of many variations: old friends, new friends, lifetime friends, close friends, casual friends, etc. Friendships are seldom static, and they evolve, grow, deepen and sometimes even wither and fade away. Sociologist and author Dr. Jan Yager, in her excellent book "Friendshifts: The Power of Friendship and How It Shapes Our Lives," explores all the various facets of these most precious connections. "Friendshifts" offers thoughtful, insightful and wise observations which can only serve to strengthen the "ties that bind" and increase our understanding of these dynamics. Highly recommended!

„Friendship is the most important thing in my life", „Without my friends my life would not be worth living.": especially in light of the continuing „singleization" (I just created this word. I hope you understand what I mean with this) of society, we come to realize that friendship is becoming more and more important. These days, it is very often the case that it is not the husband or wife that we are sharing our lives with, but a circle of intimate friends. However, to form friendships, to maintain and cultivate them and also to deal with the sometimes inevitable ending of a friendship has to be learned and understood.

With her book "Friendshifts", Dr Jan Yager gives us the possibility to do just that! She helps us to take a close look at our friendship patterns, both in the workplace and in our private lives. An important book in a time that tends to be emotionally uprooted. A book for practically everybody: for young and old, for men and women. Because: isn't friendship an universal, an all encompassing theme/topic for each and every one of us?

Anette M., a reader from Germany.

Friendship is considered an important enhancement to a full and
rich successful life.
It ranks right up there with fulfilling work, a happy homelife
and good health.
In fact satisfying friendships often positively affect one's work,
homelife and health.
Considering how important friendship is to our lives, it's
interesting
to note how little has been written on the subject.
However, Dr. Jan Yager has written a wonderfully comprehensive book
on the subject entitled:

Friendshifts: The Power of Friendship and How it Shapes our Lives.
The research done on this book is very impressive.
Dr. Yager has not just made wild guesses and assumptions on how
friendships affect our lives.
The writer has gone to great lengths; conducting surveys and
interviewing scores of men and women to find out details on how
friendships have shaped their lives.

The first section of Friendshifts: The Power of Friendship...
explores the different levels of friendships (casual, close and best)
as well as the rich variety of patterns our friendships take on.

Section 2 is about how friendship changes throughout life; from
childhood and the single years, through marriage and on to the
end of our life. Different stages of life can affect the kinds of
friendships that we develop and maintain.

Section 3 is about how to be a better friend and is full of great
advice on making, improving and maintaining our friendships.
There's even advice on handling friendships that end.

Section 4 about work and friendship goes into depth about how
friendships can enhance our careers, and the differences and
challenges involved in male and female work friendships.

Section 5 also has great insights on how friendships affects our
everyday lives, with good advice on how to better friends with
our spouse, children and family members too.

Dr. Yager recaps findings and advice in the "Summing Up" Section
which includes a listing of resources for helping us reach out
to find new friendships. This is a very thorough book on a powerful
subject matter and is a must read for anyone who values friendships
and how they enrich our lives.

Friendshifts is one of the best books I've read this year. There were times when it was difficult for me to set the book down -- it was that interesting and thought provoking.

This book is a must read for those of us who treasure our friends, have lost friends, or are in the midst of developing new friendships. At the same time, Jan Yager's insight into the concept of friendship should prove valuable to mental health care professionals, the clergy, as well as social science researchers.

By reading this book, you will develop a deeper understanding and appreciation of your friends. You will also begin to understand and perhaps improve upon your own appraoch to friendship with others.

Read Friendshifts and share what you've learned with those you care about the most.

Friendshifts is a very powerful,interesting and informative book on one of the most meaningful aspects of all our lives - our relationships with our friends. Dr. Yager provides valuable and practical insights on the way friendships enrich our lives. Dr. Yager blends a fascinating combination of scientific data and real world experiences to examine the complexities of our friendships, how we can maintain them and how they keep us whole and enrich our lives. I recommend this book to everyone - as we all can benefit from enriching our lives with friends and cherishing and better maintaining this valuable and important aspect of our lives.

Christine Hartline, MA
Eating Disorder Referral and Information Center