Customer Reviews

The Friendship Factor: How to Get Closer to the People You Care for

5 star:		(26)
4 star:		(4)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(4)

 

 

I believe that if the entire world read this book we would be a happier, healthier, friendlier, more supportive, more understanding and a more tolerant planet. I think this book should be required reading in schools!

This book is as applicable today as it was when it was written over 20 years ago. Maybe even more so. Even if you think you have the right approach to people and relationships and even if you feel all your relationships are healthy... you could learn from this book. I guarantee there are things in this book that you have not thought of.

I love this book and I highly recommend it because I believe it will benefit you and make you a better person. It had a great impact on me. I intend to read it annually.

The author gives ideas on how to deepen friendships. These include: 1) Assign top priority to your relationships 2)Dare to talk about affection 3)Learn the gesturs of love (i.e appreciating someone offering help and graciously accepting this help) AND 4) CREATE SPACE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP (in other words don't CONTROL, don't strangle ~ let them grow and breathe!!!

The author also gives pointers on cultivating intimacy. He suggests that you 1) Be liberal with praise 2) Learn to LISTEN (such as asking questions the other will enjoy answering, get the other to talk about themselves and dispensing advice SPARINGLY) 3) Use your body to demonstrate warmth AND 4) Talk freely about your feelings (Dare to need the other person and let them feel that and benefit from it)

A quote from the book that I especially like is: "Don't stop expressing needs because of occasional disappointment - you'll end up bedding down with disappointment as your constant companion."

You will also find ideas on how to handle negative feelings w/o destroying the relationship; how to disagree and understand at the same time and alternative methods of ventilating your anger.

Another quote I appreciate: "If you dish it out - you have to take it" !!!!!

Other interesting subjects in this book are: 1) The art of creative forgiveness 2) Eros - It's power and problems and 3) Loyalty, an essential ingredient.

The author writes in an easy to read fashion and backs up his suggestions and ideas with many quotes from people far and near, young and old and from other books. If you have not read this book yet... do so now. I suspect that you will find it as wonderful and helpful as I did. You and your relationships will be the better for it.

What is better in this world than people and healthy relationships with them. These are the things that matter. All else is dust in the wind.

I bought this book over 20 years ago at my childhood summer camp bookstore and I have definitely gotten my money's worth. Having been read and re-read over the years, it is one of the most worn out books I own and definitely one of the most valuable.
This book not only tells you how to get great friends but how to be a great friend and how to take the friendships you have to a deeper and more meaningful level. I'll often pick it up for a re-read when I feel a tension in my friendships or when I just want to refocus on the people I love.

I've read this book twice and given it to several people, including my mother who said, "Everyone should have this as a reference book in their home." The author, who doesn't conceal his Christian background, does the best job of anyone I've read at putting core human ethics and etiquette into a package without a hint of religious language or preachiness. There are stories in "The Friendship Factor" that have stayed with me for 15 years and are as powerful as any lecture, advice or sermon I've heard.

This continues to be one of my all-time favorite books. Everyone should read it at least once. I pick it up and read it every couple of years and always get as much or more out of it than the first time I read it 25 years ago. There are no "mind games" here - just plain, simple, practical information that makes you think about the people in your life and how you treat them. I cannot even guess how many copies I have given to family and friends over the years. At any given time I have multiple copies in my den just waiting for me to give them away. (Right now, there are nine copies ready to go!) I have mentioned and recommended the book on television many times over the years. Truly a favorite!

This book is excellent at helping you develop an "Emotional Intimacy" with the relationships in your life with your spouse, children, and close friendships. If you don't have any friendships, this will help you create some. :) One book that I would HIGHLY recommend to just about anyone.

Do you want to be more lovable? Do you want your relationships to be deeper and more meaningful? If you are ready and willing to take a look at yourself and the way you interact with people with the intention of strengthening and deepening your relationships, I haven't found a better book one could start with. Alan McGinnis must be a fantastic counselor. If he were nearby, I would pay whatever it would cost to spend hours discussing relationships and life decisions with him, just for the benefit of his insight. There is great wisdom and practical advice to be found in the pages of this little book. It's written in a warm, friendly tone and not filled with psycho-babble, but with real-life examples from McGinnis' experience as a counselor. Read it. Then read it again. And don't stop reading it. As you do this, make a conscious effort to put the clearly stated principles into action. The result: You WILL see your relationships with people grow in depth and warmth, and you WILL become a more lovable person.

I am writing this review because I firmly believe that my life will be incomplete without friends. My personal history is full of troubles and problems with people. I have a hard time dealing with my friends. Anyway, my roommate have this book lying around, so I picked it up. I read it and I really like the suggestions. I found some of the short stories to be really heartwarming and strong.

After reading this book, I have some self motivation to become a better person and a better friend. In some sense, I think this book gave me a lot of personal growth. I subsequently became a better person and I think I am more sensitive now than before. My awareness and motivation have changed my attitude and technique in talking to people.

I heartily recommend this book for anybody who wants to know how to be a better talker, listener or friend.

This book gave me brilliant insight into friendships and relationship building. It is a real privaledge to be able to learn from Alan McGinnis the keys to good friendships. These are tried and proved priciples and I thought the value placed on true fiendship and the practical examples were inspiring and helpful.
Using Jesus was not over the top as it gave us insight into someone most people know about and and an awesome example of how to live the ultimate life.
A real help to thoses who feel the need for richer friendships in this increasingly lonely world.

One thought kept running through my mind while reading this book, "I can't believe I've been so busy that I've forgotten about the importance of friendships and caring for other people." This book redirected my ambitions so that I now am less selfish and more focussed on my relationships with other people. Everyone could benefit from reading this book.

Alan McGinnis was one of the first authors I read when I was interested on broader spectrum of psychology. I began reading his books when I was a kid, not even a teenager. I always enjoyed them. This book is no exception. An offshoot of The Friendship Factor he expounds on his many ideas and ways to access communication to better your ability to be understood. He will help you get closer to those you love and form better bonds with those you want to develop lasting friendships with. Not just for friendship, but for any relationship even work. Excellent as usual!