Friendship for Grown-Ups: What I Missed and Learned Along the Way [Hardcover]

Lisa Whelchel (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: May 4, 2010

Do you long for a true friend?

"Isn't that what we all want? To be seen, in all our glory, for better or worse, the good, the bad, and the ugly and still be embraced?"

If only such friendships were easy to find. And keep. For Lisa Whelchel and millions of others, friendship is a challenge. The vulnerability, trust, balance, grace, and time required to develop and maintain strong friendships do not come easily.

Growing up as an actress in Hollywood, there were few people Lisa could trust, and even fewer to guide her. By the time she reached adulthood, she had learned to be self-sufficient. She was strong, she was “safe,” and she was lonely.

One day, Lisa found that “the desire to experience connection was stronger than the desire to be safe.” She determined right then to finally understand friendship: how to create one, sustain it, and experience the sheer joy of having it. But it wasn’t easy.

Since then, she has traveled the ups and downs of friendship, learning about herself, others, and the kinds of friendship God designed.

A speaker, teacher, and compelling storyteller, Lisa writes from her heart and her head, sharing her story and helping women understand how to cope with the strengths and weaknesses of friendship, and basing all her advice on the foundation of our ultimate relationship with the Savior.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

 

Product Details

• Hardcover: 240 pages
• Publisher: Thomas Nelson (May 4, 2010)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1400202779
• ISBN-13: 978-1400202775
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.5 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (128 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #231,559 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Lisa Whelchel, a native Texan and Grammy nominated vocalist and songwriter, is best known for her role as Blair on the long-running television comedy The Facts of Life. Now a homeschooling mother, speaker, and pastor's wife, she is the bestselling author of So You're Thinking About Homeschooling, The Facts of Life (and Other Lessons My Father Taught Me), and the Gold Medallion nominee Creative Correction. Lisa and her husband, pastor Steve Cauble, live in Texas with their children Tucker, Haven, and Clancy.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

22 of 23 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Friendship May 3, 2010

By Angel Muly

Format:Hardcover

She grew up in Hollywood where there were few people to trust and even fewer to guide her. By adulthood, she was strong, safe, and lonely. Eventually, her desire to experience the connection of a true friend was stronger than the desire to be safe. She quickly learned, she didn't know how to be a friend or to have a friend.

In this book, Friendship for Grown-Ups, Lisa Whelchel, from the hit sitcom, The Facts of Life, tells real stories of her path to friendship. She tells of triumphs and of heartbreaks. She tells of friends who betrayed and friends who loved. She talks of her fragile heart and her fears. She gives insight to finding a true friend, one who will love you, faults and all.

I loved this book. I love how Lisa put it all out there for anyone to see. Sometimes we put people like her on a pedestal and believe they have it all together. I love how she shared how vulnerable she is, just like the rest of us. Human, with human feelings, trials, and insecurities. The stories are so real and heartfelt. There were times when I could imagine myself sitting across the table from her just listening to her pour her heart out.

Her stories and insight really made me take a good look at myself and the kind of friend I am. It helped me see that I haven't always been the kind of friend I should have been and it deepened my desire to always be the kind of friend God wants me to be. It also made me look at the kind of friends I have and the kind I desire.

I would recommend this book to anyone involved in a friendship or desiring a true and Godly friendship.

I was blessed with a copy of this book from Thomas Nelson through the Booksneeze program in exchange for my honest review.

15 of 16 people found the following review helpful

3.0 out of 5 stars Friendships for Grownups April 25, 2010

By P. Friedel

Format:Hardcover

I must say, I was extremely excited to see that Lisa Whelchel's new book called, "Friendships for Grownups" was available for me to review. I am a huge fan of her writing! I've read "Creative Correction," "The Busy Mom's Guide to Prayer," and Taking care of the ME in Mommy" - and have loved every one. Not to mention that I absolutely loved her as Blaire in The Facts of Life.

However, this book was completely different than any of her other writings. It was an honest look at how she has learned over the years to open up and be more vulnerable in friendships. Her main objectives of the book were that "it's OK to be needy, it's important to be needy with safe people, and it's helpful to know who the safe people are." I could really relate to her when she wrote, "If you don't intentionally nurture your friendships and invest time in them, then they too easily dwindle away in the press of life." So true, so true.

Even though I enjoyed her open and honest look into how she related to her friendships, at times I was a tad uncomfortable with just HOW open she was. I kept thinking, "Should I really be reading this?" And I was secretly hoping that she used fake names for some of the friendships that she described which went awry. Maybe this was her way of working them. Not sure.

All in all, it's a quick read. It really caused me to think about how I can go deeper in my friendships and made me want to be a better friend. If you have some time and want to read a book about a woman's struggle through the ups and downs of friendships, pick it up. If not, go ahead and get her book, "The Busy Mom's Guide to Prayer." Now THAT is worth reading over and over and over

8 of 9 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars Friendships For Grown-Ups April 25, 2010

By Carrie Shindorf

Format:Hardcover

I remember many afternoons watching The Facts Of Life when I was a girl. If you grew up in the 70's I know you will remember Blair. Blair was the pretty and rich girl who lived with Tootie, Natalie, Jo and Mrs Garrett while she attended Eastland Academy. It was one of my favorite shows. Blair had it all together.

The real life Blair~Lisa Whelchel missed her childhood as a child star. She moved to Hollywood alone at a young age and begin to make grown-up decisions way to soon. She learned to mistrust people and guard her heart in the unreal world of Hollywood. My heart was breaking for her while I read about her childhood.

In a revival meeting at a young age Lisa accepted Jesus as her Saviour ~ thank the Lord ~God was walking this journey with her. He was working in her life and He had a plan to bring healing to her hurting soul. None-the-less Lisa had some real hard obstacles to overcome.

As the movie had ran it's course she had fallen in love and married right after her life as Blair ended. The love of her life is a Pastor. You would think that a smart, attractive, successful wife, mother and Christian would have the perfect life~right? Well maybe not.

You see~ Lisa had learned early that the more perfect she was the more people would like her and wanted to be in her life. She began to continue to act from the role of Blair to Lisa the perfect Christian, wife, mother and Pastor's wife. All the time she was crying tears of loneliness inside. She felt unlovable and unlikable so she pretended to be perfect and had to appear to always have it together. I so related to Lisa in this area of my life. Children from broken homes seem to step into this role even easier than most. You would think a childhood star would not have problems with relationships and friendships. But for Lisa who had developed a mask to hide behind~she was desperately seeking a true friend. In this book Lisa shares some deep dark emotions at times as she shares candid facts about her life and her intimate friendships.

There was a time that Lisa could not perform anymore and went away for a week of counseling. She had a breakdown and knew she needed help. There she discovered what it would take to get REAL in all her relationships and finally understood we can't be perfect enough to get people to like us.

In Friendships For Grown-Ups~ Lisa describes in details how she found healing and the keys to having real lasting friendship and that it is okay to be needy. For at times we all need someone to take care of us once in a while.

Lisa is a speaker, teacher and compelling storyteller who shares her heart. Through this process Lisa finds that Jesus is the ultimate Friend and that a relationship with Him is the most important relationship of all. She learned that you need to be careful with who you give your heart to~ she learned this the hard way. Through it all God worked in her life and has brought her to a new level in her Christian walk.

I was excited to read this book as a former Facts Of Life fan but more importantly I have enjoyed watching her life as a Homeschool Mom. I admired her journey of homeschooling her children and am excited to see her testimony of getting real. This was a great book!