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26 of 28 people found the following review helpful
She grew up in Hollywood where there were few people to trust and even fewer to guide her. By adulthood, she was strong, safe, and lonely. Eventually, her desire to experience the connection of a true friend was stronger than the desire to be safe. She quickly learned, she didn't know how to be a friend or to have a friend.

In this book, Friendship for Grown-Ups, Lisa Whelchel, from the hit sitcom, The Facts of Life, tells real stories of her path to friendship. She tells of triumphs and of heartbreaks. She tells of friends who betrayed and friends who loved. She talks of her fragile heart and her fears. She gives insight to finding a true friend, one who will love you, faults and all.

I loved this book. I love how Lisa put it all out there for anyone to see. Sometimes we put people like her on a pedestal and believe they have it all together. I love how she shared how vulnerable she is, just like the rest of us. Human, with human feelings, trials, and insecurities. The stories are so real and heartfelt. There were times when I could imagine myself sitting across the table from her just listening to her pour her heart out.

Her stories and insight really made me take a good look at myself and the kind of friend I am. It helped me see that I haven't always been the kind of friend I should have been and it deepened my desire to always be the kind of friend God wants me to be. It also made me look at the kind of friends I have and the kind I desire.

I would recommend this book to anyone involved in a friendship or desiring a true and Godly friendship.

I was blessed with a copy of this book from Thomas Nelson through the Booksneeze program in exchange for my honest review.
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18 of 19 people found the following review helpful
on April 25, 2010
I must say, I was extremely excited to see that Lisa Whelchel's new book called, "Friendships for Grownups" was available for me to review. I am a huge fan of her writing! I've read "Creative Correction," "The Busy Mom's Guide to Prayer," and Taking care of the ME in Mommy" - and have loved every one. Not to mention that I absolutely loved her as Blaire in The Facts of Life.

However, this book was completely different than any of her other writings. It was an honest look at how she has learned over the years to open up and be more vulnerable in friendships. Her main objectives of the book were that "it's OK to be needy, it's important to be needy with safe people, and it's helpful to know who the safe people are." I could really relate to her when she wrote, "If you don't intentionally nurture your friendships and invest time in them, then they too easily dwindle away in the press of life." So true, so true.

Even though I enjoyed her open and honest look into how she related to her friendships, at times I was a tad uncomfortable with just HOW open she was. I kept thinking, "Should I really be reading this?" And I was secretly hoping that she used fake names for some of the friendships that she described which went awry. Maybe this was her way of working them. Not sure.

All in all, it's a quick read. It really caused me to think about how I can go deeper in my friendships and made me want to be a better friend. If you have some time and want to read a book about a woman's struggle through the ups and downs of friendships, pick it up. If not, go ahead and get her book, "The Busy Mom's Guide to Prayer." Now THAT is worth reading over and over and over
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10 of 11 people found the following review helpful
on April 25, 2010
I remember many afternoons watching The Facts Of Life when I was a girl. If you grew up in the 70's I know you will remember Blair. Blair was the pretty and rich girl who lived with Tootie, Natalie, Jo and Mrs Garrett while she attended Eastland Academy. It was one of my favorite shows. Blair had it all together.

The real life Blair~Lisa Whelchel missed her childhood as a child star. She moved to Hollywood alone at a young age and begin to make grown-up decisions way to soon. She learned to mistrust people and guard her heart in the unreal world of Hollywood. My heart was breaking for her while I read about her childhood.

In a revival meeting at a young age Lisa accepted Jesus as her Saviour ~ thank the Lord ~God was walking this journey with her. He was working in her life and He had a plan to bring healing to her hurting soul. None-the-less Lisa had some real hard obstacles to overcome.

As the movie had ran it's course she had fallen in love and married right after her life as Blair ended. The love of her life is a Pastor. You would think that a smart, attractive, successful wife, mother and Christian would have the perfect life~right? Well maybe not.

You see~ Lisa had learned early that the more perfect she was the more people would like her and wanted to be in her life. She began to continue to act from the role of Blair to Lisa the perfect Christian, wife, mother and Pastor's wife. All the time she was crying tears of loneliness inside. She felt unlovable and unlikable so she pretended to be perfect and had to appear to always have it together. I so related to Lisa in this area of my life. Children from broken homes seem to step into this role even easier than most. You would think a childhood star would not have problems with relationships and friendships. But for Lisa who had developed a mask to hide behind~she was desperately seeking a true friend. In this book Lisa shares some deep dark emotions at times as she shares candid facts about her life and her intimate friendships.

There was a time that Lisa could not perform anymore and went away for a week of counseling. She had a breakdown and knew she needed help. There she discovered what it would take to get REAL in all her relationships and finally understood we can't be perfect enough to get people to like us.

In Friendships For Grown-Ups~ Lisa describes in details how she found healing and the keys to having real lasting friendship and that it is okay to be needy. For at times we all need someone to take care of us once in a while.

Lisa is a speaker, teacher and compelling storyteller who shares her heart. Through this process Lisa finds that Jesus is the ultimate Friend and that a relationship with Him is the most important relationship of all. She learned that you need to be careful with who you give your heart to~ she learned this the hard way. Through it all God worked in her life and has brought her to a new level in her Christian walk.

I was excited to read this book as a former Facts Of Life fan but more importantly I have enjoyed watching her life as a Homeschool Mom. I admired her journey of homeschooling her children and am excited to see her testimony of getting real. This was a great book!
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12 of 15 people found the following review helpful
on May 8, 2010
This book is about Lisa's journey through figuring out what it means to have deep personal friendships. She shares what it is like to break down your walls and to truly know and be known by another human being, through and by Grace. She gives a glimpse into what it was like for her to give up the easy mask of happiness, and to ask another person to accept her bumps, bruises, warts and all.

Lisa is a fabulous writer and has a wit about her that I found fun and interesting. However, she is incredibly vague most of the time and while I am not so much interested in the tiny details, I would very much have liked to know more so that my understanding was complete. I do understand that she was vague on purpose in order to protect the hearts of those she wrote about, but she was also the same with herself. She shared little vignettes of her life, but nothing that helped me to really see her journey.

However, that does not make this book a loss in any way. There is some very practical advice and she shares some very interesting things about why we need deep intimate friendships with other women, and how to make sure that these are safe friends and what a safe person looks like. All in all it wasn't a bad book, but I was left feeling disconnected from her in the end.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
on April 24, 2010
Lisa Whelchel has written a very honest book about her own struggle with opening herself up to true, authentic friendship. While our stories are vastly different, I found that we share many of the same issues and struggles. I suspect these basic themes are common to many if not all women. The enemy uses these insecurities to rob us of the joy and growth that can be found in the context of relationship. God used this book to reveal my distorted thinking and set me on the path to healing and restoration. I highly recommend this book!!!!
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
on July 7, 2011
I always thought I was pretty good at friendships until I read this!!! I realized some of the walls and avoidances I use to protect myself in friendships instead of just being fully committed! Definitely a good read for those not good at friendships and those who think they're just fine in the friend department!
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
VINE VOICEon August 25, 2010
Format: HardcoverVine Customer Review of Free Product( What's this? )
I liked this book a lot! (And yes, the author is Blair from the Facts of Life). It's about how she closed her heart and true self off to others as a result of childhood traumas. For example, she often had the thought that she had to be perfect in order for people to like her. How often do we all think that way? This book is not a guide on how to open yourself up, but is a chronicle of how SHE did this. I like this approach, because it makes you feel free to grab bits you'd like to try, but it isn't bossy like lots of other "self-help" books.

I've been telling my husband about various excerpts, and have thought about my interactions with others a lot. Just thinking about her story, I feel my heart opening up a little more. I've already taken one of her ideas (a way someone comforted her in a time of grieving) and tweaked it a little for a friend of mine.

Lisa has an extremely friendly tone throughout the book, and in certain parts of the book, delves into religious topics. I'm not super-religious, but this didn't bother me or anything - the religious excerpts are not a huge part of the book, nor are they preachy.

I know someone who is JUST like Lisa used to be, closed off to others and thinking she has to be perfect all the time. I plan on giving her a copy of this book. If nothing else, Lisa's story is very inspiring!!!
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful
on June 2, 2010
I expected a lot from this book because Lisa Whelchel seems like a smart and strong woman and she shares some very relatable experiences she went through but at the end of the day I felt like she played the victim card a tad too much.I'm still conflicted about the way I feel about this book honestly.On one hand I feel like she delivered (because the book is about her personal journey) but on the other hand I can't believe she's been a victim every single time.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
What woman my age (still holding on to the 30's, thank you) doesn't remember "The Facts of Life" on TV? Didn't you wish you were right there living with Blair and Tootie?

Most of you know that (Blair) Lisa Whelchel grew up to be a minister's wife and major supporter of homeschooling and Christian parenting. What you may not know is that she went through a major life journey a few years ago. Turns out the picture perfect life we saw on TV was not reality for Lisa or the other girls on the show.

Friendship for GrownUps is the story she wrote about her struggle to discover both why she kept her friends at a distance and how to tear down the wall she kept around herself to make true connections with other women. I absolutely loved this book and saw myself and other women that are and have been a part of my life reflected in her story.

I would recommend this book to women without reservations.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
on January 13, 2015
I purchased this book for my 21 year old daughter for a Christmas present. She will be graduating college in May and as an early childhood educator she is going into a profession that is dominated by women. And relationships and friendships can be hard to maneuver, especially when we are younger. (I remembered Lisa talking about it when I saw her a few years back at a Women of Faith conference in Philadelphia.) But I couldn't help pursuing the book myself before wrapping it up. This is an most excellent book for all women, but I must say even more so for younger women of this day and age. I love that for each chapter there is not one but two appendixes. The first are questions to help you think through what you just read and how it pertains to your life. And the second is helpful insight on how to handle different situations...such as, as to be intentional in your friendships. I love the suggestion of turning off cell phones when out with a friends (young people seemed to be so attached to technology), so that you can really listen and pay attention. Being considerate and valuing the time of others and how not to be pulled into gossip. My daughter started reading it while home on semester break and we discussed how much she felt she needed the book and was enjoying what she had read. Lisa's style of writing is easy and my daughter found it very helpful and insightful at the same time. She shared that when reading chapter 3 it brought tears to her eyes because she could see how she has put up walls but that it was okay to need others. I'm 62, so many of the things that Lisa talks about, I've already learned the hard way, but this book makes it possible for others to learn the lessons of friendship a much easier road to walk. This is a wonderful book to read on your own, but would also be great for a book club as well. Thank you Lisa for being so transparent so that others might be a bit freer and happier!
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