Customer Reviews

The Frozen Toe Guide to Real Alaskan Livin': Learn How to Survive Moose Attacks, Endless Winters, and Life Without Indoor Plumbing

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There are plenty of coffee table and rather bland tourist kind of books about Alaska. An ample supply of glacier cruises, salmon bakes and float planes flying in front of mountains .

But as an Arctic Alaskan I know that many "Outsiders" would like more. Well here it is! Author Brookelyn Bellinger knows the real Alaska. She lives without running water and well beyond our "big city" of Anchorage.

To become the Alaska woman, she advises, "Being able to butcher a moose is a skill that will be able to get you a date."

And to become the Alaska man, "Once in a while you should make your dog team sleep on the floor."

With two Greenland Huskies in our household, I don't know if I could go that far!

Bellinger understands that Alaskan men rarely consider washing their Carhartts bib top overalls. And that all the cake and ice cream in the world won't make the winters any shorter.

Read this book and learn the importance of duct tape, outhouses/honey buckets and (where I live) lots of dog hair,ice/mud and gravel all over the house and car or truck!

Enjoy!

Boy, Brookelyn Bellinger makes being an Alaskan sound like lots of fun.
She also makes Alaskans sound like lots of drunks, but ...
Bellinger's book, "The Frozen Toe Guide to Real Alaska Livin'," is a compendium of anecdotes, how-to information, advice and snarky commentary on living in the 49th State. From its do-it-yourself acknowledgement, which I found quite amusing, to the off-the-cuff introduction ("I figured most people would skip over the introduction - I usually do ...") and beyond, Bellinger throws zingers right and left on subjects as diverse as working in Alaska, dressing in Alaska and not going insane in Alaska.
Bellinger came to Alaska as a 19-year-old Minnesotan dreaming of adventure. She'd long thought she belonged here, she tells us, because it is "... a place where all kinds of oddballs fit in."
But seriously, she actually longed for the independence, adventure, wide-open spaces and "plethora of espresso stands.
Landing here with $200 and a backpack, she managed to find two jobs right off - working at a B&B in exchange for food and a piece of ground on which to pitch a tent, and selling fishing tackle and other "fish-killing" accoutrements.
Bellinger has had quite the gamut of Alaskan experiences, and she's not shy about telling us about them - successes and failures alike. She talks about the time she and her husband took on a homestead caretaking job on Unimak Island for the winter. Sharing excerpts from her diary (with added "If I knew then what I know now" comments), Bellinger carries us through a winter of too much fish, too much wind and not enough beer. She also shares the life lessons learned - if you're going to go for seven months of isolation, choose someplace with trees (for firewood) and "large animals to kill for meat." Her husband, however, would never do it again. "Seven months is a long time to be isolated."
Bellinger picks up a lot of what attracts most of us to this place. The outdoor life, of course - hunting, fishing, dog mushing, road trips to extremely civilization-challenged places - but she also mentions the intangibles as well. The lack of concern over fashion and following trends and keeping warm versus looking good are my favorite part of being Alaskan, although I've yet to go for the extreme (read "formal") Carhartt look Bellinger advocates.
I definitely enjoyed the "Twelve Simple Ways to Look the Part." These rules should be read to all newcomers as they deplane or deboat or de-car, because, frankly, it would make their lives much simpler. Bellinger tells us to lose all our suits, unless we want them for Halloween, and to keep the swimsuit for the PFD vacations to Hawaii. "Showers and clean clothes are overrated;" fur is the best way to stay warm and immediately buy stock in Carhartts.
But Bellinger also celebrates the spirit of Alaska: the ability to fend for oneself in any situation, the breathtaking beauty of the natural surroundings and the challenge of facing (and sometimes) beating Mother Nature at her worst - and her "children." I particularly enjoyed reading about wild animal attacks - especially the killer porcupine. Oh, yeah, she talks about mean moose and biting bears as well.
Inevitably, the "dry cabin" comes up, because, I suppose, most Outsiders think we all live in log cabins with no plumbing. There's advice on that as well, and some prophecy - eventually, you get used to biting cold on your bare cheeks as you dash out to the john in minus-40 weather.
Bellinger's guide to life here in the Frozen North has a bit of a magazine look to it - lots of sidebars and fact boxes, lists of "resources" and recipes tucked here and there. In a couple of places, she throws in a Q&A session with a noted Alaskan. (Conflict of Interest note: I really don't like the Q&A format - seems rather lazy to me. But I digress.)
"The Frozen Toe Guide" is fun to read, an enjoyable way to spend a rainy afternoon in the armchair. Bellinger's style is sarcastic and smart-aleky, with a class-clown tone of voice that makes fun of herself as much as anything else. She writes well, and obviously knows of what she writes.
If I have a complaint, it's that she's not sure what this book is supposed to be - a how-to guide, a tongue-in-cheek memoir or what. The book starts out so jokingly (I mean, really, fill-in-the-blanks acknowledgements, while hilarious, aren't meant to be taken seriously. Are they?), it's hard to pull back into serious mode. And when Bellinger does throw in cautions ("Just have a good time and be safe out there."), inevitably, she tacks on a smart remark ("Always carry a gun."). It's jarring, this juxtaposition of sarcasm and seriousness.
Don't get me wrong - I loved this book. It's also probably something I'll send off to the relatives at Christmas so they see how much fun I'm having. And how much we drink up here, but you'll have to read the book to see what I mean.

Either for vacation or to live permanently, this book is an insight into the great state of Alaska. Brookelyn did a great job combining humor, wit and truth to some serious subjects that are overlooked from the lowerfortyeightians. Enjoy the book..

I'm a staunch conservative type - probably too conservative for North Pole - and the author of this book, Brookelyn Bellinger, is quite clearly a wacky hippie.

I love her.

She's a hippie, all right, but she's not the kind of hippie that won't wear fur in Alaska because it offends some people of Higher Consciousness in southern California. She's an authentic free-thinker who believes that you should be free, too. And this short book does more to demonstrate the connection between self-reliance and freedom than any political essay ever could.

You know that Alaska is cold and, if you reflect upon it, you won't be surprised when she tells you that it is dark, too, with the sun staying below the horizon for twenty hours per day in the depths of winter. But I bet that you didn't know about the peculiar hazards attached to using an outhouse when the temperature is 20 below. Or that the quickest way to get rich in Alaska is learning the art of windshield repair and replacement. Or that house-sitting in the Aleutians is ... well, you just have to read that part. I won't give it away. It's too good.

Brookelyn is real and free and very, very funny. Both the Alaska she describes and the world inside her head are places you should visit. Highly recommended.

I really enjoyed reading this book, after I returned home from my first trip to Alaska (in the summer, of course). Alaska is spectacular, but many of us harbor romantic ideas about what it is really like to live in the wilderness. This book will absolutely bring you back to earth, with wit and humor, and will educate you on living in lonliness, darkness and cold! A great beach read on a HOT day.

I am almost finished reading The Frozen Toe.. and I must say that Brookelyn Bellinger is a wonderful author. Not only is she a wonderful storyteller, but a funny quick witted woman.

Everyone says that we are crazy for wanting to uproot ourselves and move to Alaska, but this book made me feel like I could really do it.

This book made me realize that some people are just called to live in Alaska, and some arent. I hope that our journey will be as fascinating as Brookelyn's..


((and shes very nice too, she answered a quick email question I had about moving.. I almost peed my pants when I saw she replied back! An email from a celeb, who would have thought! haha))

A+++++++++ all the way!

I read this preparing for a trip to Alaska. I'm not sure how truly it portrays the natives, but it was hilarious.

Quick read, great reference book (she lists websites and year-round events) and a very funny account of how to live like a real Alaskan (wood cabin with outhouse *in winter*).
I've read a few good Alaska books now and this is a favorite for anyone interested/curious about Alaska living (love the chapter about moose).

Would recommend to the ones who have only visited Alaska but are contemplating moving and want to hear about someone else's decision to do the same. I can't wait to go back after reading this.

Received this book for Christmas. I read it over several days and everyday I laughed and laughed. Finally, a less touristy view of the real Alaska. Yes, I think I fit right in with the Alaskan scene. My people! I finally found my people :)