Full Moon at Noontide: A Daughter's Last Goodbye (MEDICAL HUMANITIES SERIES) [Hardcover]

Ann Putnam (Author), David Hilfiker (Introduction), Thomas Cole (Foreword)

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Unflinching in its look at the truths we may prefer to ignore—the passing of time, the breakdown of the body, the complicated give and take between parent and child, the fact that we are all on the inexorable march toward the end—this is a hard book because Ann Putnam has the courage to tell us the truth about aging and dying. But it’s a gorgeous book, too, one born from the endurance of the human spirit and the capacity to love."—Lee Martin, author of River of Heaven "Ann Putnam’s story should be helpful to many people trying to care for elderly, ill loved ones. This is not a how-to handbook, but rather a model of making meaning, a narrative of love—of piecing together scraps of lives, artifacts, photographs, memories, letters."—Carol Donley, co-editor of

 

"With the caring attention of a novelist, Ann Putnam has given us a story of love and loss and survival that moves and instructs. This is a work of love and devotion, a gift."—Annick Smith, author of

"Anyone can suffer; only an artist can turn suffering into something beautiful and universal. If there’s a survivor’s guide to easing the transitions necessary with aging parents, this is it." —Ladette Randolph, editor of Ploughshares  



In This We Are Native and co-producer of the film A River Runs Through It  



"This memoir is heart-rending and heart-warming, as Ann Putnam describes the deaths of her beloved father and his identical twin, her much-loved uncle. Putnam translates these losses into an inspiring and poignant family story that is also the tale of every family facing the inevitable."—Nina Baym, editor of

 



"Old age, death, and impermanence—it seems at first glance impossible to make a reader see these timeless and universal experiences with fresh eyes, but Ann Putnam’s luminous prose achieves that miracle and more, transforming pain, suffering, and loss into a literary gift of beauty and redemption."—Charles Johnson, author of Middle Passage, winner of the 1990 National Book Award

 

 

 

About the Author

 ANN PUTNAM teaches creative writing and women's studies at the University of Puget Sound in Tacoma, Washington. She has published short fiction, personal essays, literary criticism, and book reviews in various anthologies such as Hemingway and Cuba and in journals, including the Hemingway Review, Western American Literature, and the South Dakota Review.

 Thomas R. Coleis director of the McGovern Center for Health, Humanities, and the Human Spirit at the University of Texas-Houston Health Science Center Medical School. The author of many books on aging, including The Journey of Life: A Cultural History of Aging in America, he is also a professor of humanities and religious studies at Rice University.

 David Hilfiker, M.D., is the founder of Joseph's House in Washington, D. C., a community for homeless men with AIDS. He is the author of Urban Injustice: How Ghettos Happen, Not All of Us Are Saints: A Doctor's Journey with the Poor, and Healing the Wounds: A Doctor Looks at His Work.

Product Details

• Hardcover: 224 pages
• Publisher: Southern Methodist University Press; 1 edition (November 23, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0870745557
• ISBN-13: 978-0870745553
• Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6.4 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,173,446 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A must-read for anyone who has witnessed firsthand the passing of a loved one, July 8, 2010

By 

Nicole Langan "Tribute Books Reviews" (Archbald, PA) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Full Moon at Noontide: A Daughter's Last Goodbye (MEDICAL HUMANITIES SERIES) (Hardcover)

For anyone who has walked side-by-side in the culminating steps of the life of an elderly person, Ann Putnam's Full Moon at Noontide is a healing balm. She understands. She's been there three separate times. Her Uncle Henry. Her father. Her mother. Being with someone in their final years, days, hours is both a hardship and a privilege. She explains, "... pure love becomes when it is distilled through such suffering and loss - a blue flame that flickers and pulses in the deepest heart."

The shared episodes are poignant. They involve handicapped seating, Maalox glasses, falls, and catheters - "the fragility of it all." The three senior citizens begin to function as one unit. While backing the car out of the driveway, her mother drives, her uncle looks left and her father looks right while shifting gears. Yet their teamwork is not enough against Mother Nature. During a winter blackout, they are without heat and electricity for five days. Safety in numbers is no longer a guarantee.

The house is sold and the trio is uprooted to University House, an upscale retirement community near where Putnam lives. It is considered a "dangerous business" to make friends when "death was a fall, a sneeze, a heartbeat away" so they "kept their attachments light." Putnam is honest about her role in their lives. When her uncle nearly loses her father's wheelchair into oncoming traffic while leaving church, Putnam feels guilty about not making the effort to take them herself. However, she knows that it will tie up her entire day serving as chauffeur and running errands. She presents a realistic picture by admitting to her own shortcomings.

Uncle Henry was also difficult - "the evil twin." When Putnam's daughter describes him as "another grandfather." He responds, "But then that would mean I'd have to have had sex with your grandmother." He had a high appreciation for shock value. Putnam goes on to say, "My uncle was so difficult those last years, and my parents gave up so much to have him there. It had seemed so anguished at the time, but in fact it has left no bitterness. For the last twenty years, my uncle came along everywhere they went, how they couldn't bear to leave him behind."

Putnam's memoir beautifully chronicles their final moments. While Uncle Henry is dying in the ICU, her father is being treated above him on the sixteenth floor. She is comforted by the words of the ICU priest, Father Bill when asked how he can stand working in a hospital: "Oh, but this is a luminous place. It shimmers, if only you can see it. There's a thin membrane separating the physical and the spiritual. We should walk with one foot in each place always. This place reminds me to do that. It's a thin place."

Putnam recounts witnessing Uncle Henry's final moments. "Now his breathing changes. Two little puffs of breath, then a long, breathless silence that stretches out between one world and another until he catches it up again and pulls himself back into this life. He's emptying the body of air. But there is no gasping, no death agony, just little puffs of air, little commas of breath, the sweet, soft sound of the spirit going someplace else. His eyes are open. The light has not gone out. All the times I had left him, and gone home to eat or sleep, to take up the threads of my life as best I could, and I thought please let go, please let this all be over, please just slip away softly into the night. Now I am grateful to be here and think how easily I might not have been."

Putnam is also there when her father enters the death fugue as explained by a nurse - "What you see when you look at him is not what he's experiencing. He's not really in his body like you think. He's someplace else now and doesn't want to be called back." Terror drives Putnam from the nursing home during the death vigil. She has a failure of nerve and panics. Upon her return, the hospice chaplain arrives. "Go away! I want to scream, but polite to the end, I hold my tongue. They think I need company for this final stretch. They don't know I've been here already. They don't know how strong I've grown. I didn't know it myself until now. This is sacred space, and I want it all to myself. I have no need for interpreters now. Father Bill is all I need, and he's hidden safely inside. 'We are not our bodies. We are not our minds. We are not our emotions, though they are all part of us. Our truest self is a spirit place that has always been there. He's going toward it now. Everything else is falling away."

She is also witnesses her mother's death. "After my father died she took to studying the obituaries in the paper. 'When I read that someone died after a short illness, I think how lucky that person is. I'd be grateful for those words after my name.' I know she's thinking of how long my father took to die. Just after midnight, my practical, no-nonsense mother dies. I watch her spirit leave her body within moments, watch her face change into a death mask before me and become someone else. It's all right. She'd wanted to be out of her body for so long - no ambivalence here, not a moment wasted going where she wants to go. Come on up, the twins say. It's great up here. My father reaches down to give her a lift."

Overall, this is a must-read for anyone who has witnessed firsthand the passing of a loved one.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Beautifully Sad, July 26, 2010

A Kid's Review

This review is from: Full Moon at Noontide: A Daughter's Last Goodbye (MEDICAL HUMANITIES SERIES) (Hardcover)

Full Moon at Noontide is a beautiful book about a woman who loses her parents and uncle, and the trials they go through along the way. This wonderful look at the end of life, is a beautiful tribute to her parents and a stark reminder to all of us who live in the "Sandwich Generation" of what is important, our family and the love we all share. Ann Putnam was able to put into words exactly what it's like at the end, when you're having to take care of your parents and make sure they have those they love around them, and leave this world with dignity and grace.

I remember when my grandparents passed away. The years building up to it, the hospital visits, the surgeries, the pain, both physical and emotional that my mom and our entire family went through. Those were tough times, and I was just a teenager. Now, my own mother is turning 70 this year, and her health isn't as good as it once was. I worry about her all the time. Reading this book made me feel just a little better, knowing that I'm not alone in dealing with these issues as my mother gets older, and that we will be able to get through it, no matter what happens.

This book is beautifully written and will make you cry in many spots. It will also make you smile as you see some humor and a lot of love within these pages. Whether you have already lost your parents, or are taking care of them now, this is definitely a book that you'll want to read. It won't necessarily be easy to read, but it's worth it! I highly recommend this book to anyone with parents. Although it's this is definitely a book for the more mature reader, college age and above is who I would say this is best for.

Disclaimer: This book was provided to me by Pump Up Your Book Promotion for review purposes only. All opinions are 100% my own.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A GREAT MEMOIR, July 20, 2010

By 

Melissa (Long Island NY) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Full Moon at Noontide: A Daughter's Last Goodbye (MEDICAL HUMANITIES SERIES) (Hardcover)

My grandmother passed away when I was twelve years old ( I am sixteen now) and I had many fond memories of her. My grandfather is still alive and is eighty years old. When I had the chance to read the book, I was a little reluctant and my mother said that it was good for me to read it. I enjoyed the book and my favorite twin was Henry. Boy, was he a character and he made me laugh. I read the book on vacation and I had difficulty putting it down. I volunteer weekly in a local nursing home and I can see how hard it can be to care for the elderly and all the emotions that go along with caring for them. The author is an excellent writer and she gave me a different insight into life. I have learned that even the most independent person may need some assistance in their lives when they grow older and may have to rely on a nursing home to care for them. I recommend the book to everyone not to make them depressed but to learn a little about aging.