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Fun With Flicks: Laser Mission

35 customer reviews

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$12.99 & FREE Shipping on orders over $35. Details In Stock. Ships from and sold by Amazon.com. Gift-wrap available.

Frequently Bought Together

Fun With Flicks: Laser Mission + Rapid Fire + Showdown in Little Tokyo/Bloodsport (DBFE)
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Editorial Reviews

Join cartoonist Josh Way as he riffs this wicked awesome action flick from 1990 starring Brandon Lee and Ernest Borgnine. No lasers, not much of a mission, but we do get a catchy theme song and a rather buoyant female agent who walks 400 miles in high heels. With more bad accents than Angelina Jolie's demo reel, Laser Mission delivers all the heart-pounding action of your cable company's onscreen channel guide.

Includes Bonus Short "Bus Nut" and the original movie audio on a separate track.

Bill Corbett of Mystery Science Theater 3000 says "Josh Way is the real thing, baby!" Josh is the creator of the comic strip Chronicle (www.chroniclecomic.com), a contributor to Mike Nelson's Rifftrax.com and a writer for the Incognito Cinema Warriors XP.

This product is manufactured on demand using DVD-R recordable media. Amazon.com's standard return policy will apply.


Special Features

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Product Details

  • Actors: Brandon Lee, Ernest Borgnine
  • Directors: Beau Davis
  • Format: NTSC
  • Region: All Regions
  • Studio: CreateSpace
  • DVD Release Date: May 29, 2009
  • Run Time: 100 minutes
  • Average Customer Review: 2.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (35 customer reviews)
  • ASIN: B002BH4OWU
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #298,867 in Movies & TV (See Top 100 in Movies & TV)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

22 of 24 people found the following review helpful By a reviewer on July 14, 2003
Format: DVD
This movie was made close enough to the 80s when all the best action movies were made, and it shows. Brandon Lee fans don't have a large list of movies to choose from, so I was pleased to find out that in this movie he doesn't disappoint. He shows a lot of his good natured personality and sense of humor in the film, which is great to see. There is some slapstick humor thrown in, and that takes some of the edge off of the sometimes violent action. In the action department this movie rivals Showdown in Little Tokyo with gunplay, knife fighting, and physical fighting. There is a good amount of Brandon in the movie, so fan's of his will not want to miss this one. The film is not as slickly shot as Rapid Fire, but I woulndn't compare this film to that one, because they were made four years apart, and the action type movies were starting to change [around 1994], so I view this as kind of a 1980's style action movie (the film was made in 1990, so it just makes the cut). There's something about that style of movie that is still nice to see.
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Format: DVD
If you value the memory of Brandon Lee (and even if you don't) do yourself a favor and don't watch this movie. I give it two stars overall, but the second star is for extraordinary and unintentional comedy. The film opens with the monotonous and annoying power ballad "Mercenary Man" (the handiwork, I hate to reveal, of David Knopfler, Mark's younger brother) a song that fits the theme of the film, yet is played so often in the course of the movie that you will want to scream if you hear it one more time. Unfortunately for the viewer, the theme song is by far the best part of the movie.

The plot concerns Brandon Lee as Michael Gold, a mercenary US contract agent who travels to Cuba and then onward to some fictional country in Africa (though exactly how he gets there is a bit of a mystery.) This is all in an attempt to bring Ernest Borgnine (as Professor Braun) to the United States as he has developed a method of using a big diamond (which gets a subplot of it's own in an apparent homage to the original "Pink Panther") to make a laser that can start World War Three. Needless to say, Ernest (who has the worst accent in the history of cinema) is also wanted by the KGB led by the stiflingly bad Col. Kalishnakov (named for a similarly-named Soviet-manufactured combat weapon, evidently), and the amorphously evil "Eckhardt" who is menacing with his over-the-top pseudo-Austrian accent and diction skills. Think of William Shatner as an insane, evil member of the SS and you will come close to the degree of overacting present here.
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful By Bindy Sue Frønkünschtein TOP 1000 REVIEWER on July 27, 2005
Format: DVD
Whew doggies! This one's up there with Nasty Rabbit on the stink-o-meter! Superspy and international man of mystery, Michael Gold (Brandon "The Crow" Lee) must save Dr. Braun (Ernest "Devil's Rain" Borgnine) from the clutches of an evil austrian guy named Eckhardt, who has a human head collection in his family room. Eckhardt has also stolen the world's biggest diamond in order to make a deadly laser (which never even comes close to actually happening). Gold travels from Cuba to Africa, apparently via astral-projection, as he simply appears there; where he encounters Braun's daughter, Alissa, who is either a dim-witted superspy herself, or a dim-witted, frizzy blonde bimbette with ever-popping soap bubbles in her skull. Gold and Alissa secure a VW hippie-van loaded with guns and explosives, and tear around shooting and blowing up stuntmen until being blown up themselves (the van that is). Most of the action takes place in the desert, where austrian thugs come at our heroes one at a time, seemingly from nowhere, on foot and on horseback! The whole thing culminates in a sub-par climax at a diamond mine. Watch as Gold is shot in the back, a through-and-through wound that most certainly mulches his liver! Watch as he gets better, without so much as a band-aid! He's tough! Given the choice between watching this again or being roasted alive, I'd put an apple in my mouth and head for the barbecue pit! Take heed...
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By Daniel Jolley HALL OF FAMETOP 500 REVIEWERVINE VOICE on May 28, 2008
Format: DVD
Given the tragic circumstances of his untimely death, not to mention the deep respect I have for his father, I feel sort of bad about denigrating one of Brandon Lee's films (albeit, one of his earliest films). Unfortunately, the fact of the matter is that Laser Mission exists solely to be made fun of, as it's such a hilariously bad movie. The plot barely holds the whole thing together, the acting is pretty weak all across the board, the dialogue is so cheesy that that the film should come with a warning label for lactose-intolerant viewers, the special effects don't exactly blow you away, and even the music proves to be highly annoying. Obviously, I really have no choice but to give the film a low rating, but that doesn't mean I didn't enjoy the heck out of watching it - this thing is chock full of unintentional hilarity.

Brandon Lee plays Michael Gold, a secret agent-type guy who really isn't very good at his job. Apparently, all of the CIA's spies were at a meeting or something because the Americans hire Gold to go down and try to talk a Cuban scientist (played by "well-known Cuban actor" Ernest Borgnine) into bringing his knowledge of advanced laser technology to America. Gold screws that up pretty quickly but manages to beg his way into a second chance with the guys at the American Embassy. With Professor Braun (Borgnine) now missing, Gold seeks out help from the professor's daughter Alissa (Debi Monahan, who's about as Cuban as Marilyn Monroe) - and I must say that the disguised manner in which he first contacts her is not to be missed (nor is the somewhat revealing dress Monahan wears throughout most of the movie - without it, there would be absolutely nothing worth looking at in the entire film). Even the setting of this film is problematic.
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