Customer Reviews

The Fussy Baby Book : Parenting Your High-Need Child From Birth to Age Five

5 star:		(39)
4 star:		(8)
3 star:		(7)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(8)

 

 

Our daughter was THE "poster child" for colicky, fussy babies. She had colic so severe [crying 10-12 hours a DAY for first 12 weeks!] that our Pediatrician told us "This isn't colic, she just has a bad disposition." [UGH - we don't use him any more needless to say - and the crying stopped abruptly at 12 weeks]. After the colic passed, she continued to be a VERY "hands on, high need" baby. She was quite a challenge to parent that first year.

Thank goodness I found this book! I can still remember the first time I read it - the sigh of relief that I wasn't alone and the wonder at all the great ideas and suggestions in the book. We put these suggestions to work in our parenting and followed Dr. Sears' advice to the letter. Now we have an angelic two year old - she's a joy to be around. She is now the easiest kid in the world to parent - the most easy going, friendly, and sweet kid you could imagine. Now my friends all say how lucky I am to have such an easy toddler! I think it is due in great part to Dr. William and Martha Sears and their wonderful insight and advice - their suggestions certainly worked for us!

I have gathered a vast collection of child care books, and none of them were as helpful as this one. It was frustrating when my friends/family just didn't understand how it was that I simply "couldn't put my daughter down" until she was about 7 months old... how it was possible that she didn't like to be touched, but had to be held all the time... how she simply didn't nap... I was told that I was only making it worse by indulging her ("let her cry a bit!", "teach her to be patient!", etc.) Well, when I read this book, I felt an enormous sense of relief that my baby wasn't the only one like this. I was also thrilled to learn about concrete ways to care for my not-so-ordinary baby. We have ended up with a happier child and happier mom, too! This is THE book for parents of high-maintenance, high-sensitivity, high-needs babies.

During the first few weeks of my son's life, I would have gone utterly out of my mind without this book! Before he was born, I thought fussy babies happened only to other people -- those who didn't see a midwife, have a homebirth, live simply, plan to attachment parent... you get the idea :) I have been humbled completely by his personality... and this book sooo helped me to realize that his fussiness wan't anyone's fault; he was just born wired that way. And it has been an excellent reference for us to work with his needs instead of against them, and realize that his traits, so annoying at times when he was littler (he's now four months old), will help him out as an adult. [It's funny now, watching video of us when he was a newborn; we speak as though we're in the midst of a hostage crisis, counting the days since his birth. We didn't think we'd have another, but are now already considering it in a couple of years. It started out tough, but he's now a very energetic, serious, hyper-interested baby, and we love him dearly.]

As a first time mom I was dismayed when my baby cried all of the time and only seemed somewhat less miserable in my arms. He wanted, no needed to be touched all of the time. He nursed a lot, and slept very little. He had colic for SIX months and I think I cried along with him every day.

We went to the doctor but there was nothing physically wrong with him. I felt like it was our fault,that we were doing something wrong. Until I found this book and bought it out of sheer frustration.

Thank goodness for this book and for the Sears! Finally, someone who understood what we were going through. Finally, someone who gave solid advice and ideas for how to deal with the situation. Not to break the baby of his behaviors, but how to deal with them, diffuse them, roll with them and help him grow. I was able to get past the feelings of guilt and failure and be a better parent to the baby we had.

As time went by, he slowly grew out of the high needs behavior and now he's a happy, spirited six year old who brings us joy every day. Fortunately, our second wasn't high needs and slept through right away but he's now a very spirited toddler, so I have used this book again, as a reference.

For people who expect every word in this book to apply to them evenly, I think you'll be disappointed, that isn't what a reference book is or does. This book will help you in many ways but not everything will be applicable to every single thing, nor is it supposed to make you feel bad if you don't do every single thing they suggest.

It's a great reference for those parents who are at their wits' end in dealing with a high needs baby and I am so very glad I found it!

This was the only book I found that had information about the hidden causes of fussiness (in our case it was a food sensitivity!). My pediatrician at the time didn't even hint on what the book thoroughly explains -- that what appears to be colic might not be, that babies don't necessarily have to suffer through it, and a detailed elimination diet to help relieve their pain. All that, plus wonderful soothing techniques that can be applied to any baby in those first few blurry months. Thank you Dr. & Martha Sears!

My granddaughter was born almost one year ago, and as very hands-on grandmother caretaker I notice some similarities between this darling child and her high-need mother. I just want to tell all of you parents of high-need children that my high-need second (and LAST - imagine that!)child is now 28 years old and I couldn't be more pleased with how she has matured. Only by instinct did I give her the patience and attention she needed as a baby and toddler ( the teenage years were more of a challenge), but today she possessess all of the positive attributes Dr. Sears lists on page 30. HANG IN THERE - IT'S SO REWARDING!

This book let me know that I was not alone. My child seemed to be the only baby in the world who would not fall asleep in the car, hated the baby swing, and did not happily go to anyone but his mother to be held. Reading this book let me know that there are others out there, and that my child is not better or worse than other children, just different.

The techniques given to soothe a fussy baby are very helpful. Also, I really benefited from the chapter on mother burnout.

One complaint would be that it doesn't address the feelings of the father of a high-need baby, or at least not very much. Also, the special challenges faced by single parents of high-need babies are not really addressed. All in all, however, it is a great book and perhaps the best message of all is the assurance that your child is normal and can grow to be a healthy member of society without causing parental insanity. Parents who wish they could have found this book when their child was a baby would probably benefit from reading "Raising Your Spirited Child."

After suffering through six months of sleepness nights and napless days, it was great to just hear that we weren't alone - or worse, doing something wrong which was promoting the behavior we so much wanted to get rid of. It was also reassuring to read that what we were instinctively doing would not lead to a spoiled baby later as so many people had told me. It gave us the strength to go on!

I am a pediatrician and a first-time mother. My extremely colicky son was not what I expected from motherhood. This book was both reassuring and informative. I saw myself and my son in nearly every description. My only regret is not buying it sooner! My son is now a well-adjusted 21 month old. We are much better at predicting his "high-needs" and he is much better at verbalizing them to us. However, I still refer to it often as both a mother AND a pediatrician. I have recommended it to many families in my practice. Even if you are not a big believer in attachment parenting, there is very useful advice in this book.

"High Needs" and "Colic" are very different.

If you are going to buy this book, understand that colic babies get over their colic and then they are usually "normal" babies.

High Needs babies usually don't have colic, they are just needy ALL the time. Mine hated the swing, the stroller, the car seat, the crib, everything that wasn't me holding him ~ facing out so he can see the world. I wondered if he was in pain, I wondered why no one else's baby seemed as needy as mine, I wondered what I was doing wrong. The doctors would just shrug at me, my friends didn't understand life with this kind of baby, and I was exhausted trying to keep my baby happy.

In my heart I knew that he was like a 2 year old trapped in a baby's body. Now he's a very perceptive 9 year old and that needy behavior has turned into a deep, loving, sensitive, and happy little boy who still prefers time with mom over anything in the world ~ in confident and secure way, not needy anymore. I'm so glad I didn't try and turn him into what I thought a "normal" baby should be ~ he wasn't wired that way. He needed me, I was there, and now we are still so very very bonded.

My 2nd child was a "normal" baby, and I didn't need Dr. Sear's book ~ she ate, slept, and smiled just as I expected a baby to do. She also had colic ~ once 4pm started she was a crying mess for hours every night. That was different, it was colic. She was a good baby the rest of the time and by 4 months the colic was over. She's 5 now and still sleeps, eats, and everything else like a typical little girl, thank God, because I didn't have much left of me after the first year of my High Needs baby.

This was a GREAT book that I highly recommend!! Be sure and read his intro that describes how he learned about "High Needs".

Amy