From Publishers Weekly
After more than two decades as a psychotherapist, relationship counselor and author (Finding True Love, etc.), Kingma suggests turning away from issues of the personality to those of the soul in loving relationships. She spends a lot of time criticizing "traditional" marriage ("suffocates the individual vivid soul") and the nuclear family ("intense focus and neurosis"), but she eventually does include them among the many possibilities of "soulful relationships." While her overall message of acceptance for, and celebration of, the many varieties of love seems perfectly sound, it's questionable whether a majority of American adults today would view "multiple-person relationships, relationships that defy age or gender boundaries, or embody astonishing emotional or spiritual acrobatics" as "failures or aberrations." Kingma offers comfort for the occasional pangs of concern over not having fulfilled the myth of get-married-and-live-happily-ever-after, but her discussions of "relaxing boundaries" and forgiveness could be problematic for those facing issues of addiction or abuse. Her implication that changing the "forms" of relationships makes them "illumined" is debatable, moreover. Her most valuable contribution here seems to be her discussion of the "ten qualities of a soulful relationship": self-awareness, aliveness, realism, honesty, generosity, empathy, forgiveness, thanksgiving, consecration and joy. As she wisely makes clear, these soulful attributes can be present, or not, in myriad forms of relationship.
Copyright 1998 Reed Business Information, Inc.
--This text refers to the
"Daphne Rose Kingma is one of the Knowers on the planet, one of the women who see things, and pass on the information. With this book, I hope her information reaches even further and wider, past our personalities, past our barriers, past our resistances to love. She takes our hands and guides us past the war zones of relationships to the peaceful meadows of a higher love."
--Marianne Williamson, author of A Return to Love
"In this innovative book, Daphne Rose Kingma breaks down the popular myth of how love is 'supposed' to be by introducing us to a broad spectrum of intimate connections. She reveals how to work through the various confrontations that every relationship encounters and reach deeper levels of love and intimacy."
--John Gray, author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from VenusFrom the Hardcover edition.