Customer Reviews

GALAXINA

5 star:		(9)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(7)
2 star:		(4)
1 star:		(13)

 

 

This is a cult classic, stupid movie. Avery Schreiber commands the Space Police cruiser Infinity and her crew of idiots. Infinity and her crew are near the end of their seven year mission when the police chief sends them on a jouney to rescue the Blue Star from a planet of crooks. The journey will last fifty-four years total. Along the way, Sgt. Thor falls in love with the ships robot, Galaxina (Stratton). The plot is classic B-movie, the one-liners are great and Stratton looks good in her tight satin jump suit. Who could ask for more?

I don't care what anyone else says, but for the goofy script and tongue-in-cheek comedy I think Bill Sachs is a genious. The film quality copy process, however, leaves much to be desired, through no fault of Mr. Sachs. Whoever the slobs were who basically did nothing but show their unprofessional attitude with this DVD release should be defrocked and locked in a cage for future film editors and scientists to study.

I've always been a cult comedy and sci-fi movie buff, and this has some hilarious scenes, including the colony of space bikers who worship their Lord, "Ha-Ley David San AH-OOM, AH-OOM." Rock Eater utters his famous insult at the Captain, and don't forget THE BLUE STAR aaaahhhhhhhhhh! Galaxina is always calm, cool, shockingly electric in more than just design, and of course there are the typical crew of space cowboys with one who wants to be more than a crewmate with Galaxina, just to mix it up with the hero/heroine approach. I think the director did a wonderful job at corny comedy sci-fi, and I hope in the future a better release film-quality-wise is produced than what is currently on the market.

Oh my aching gyros....!

There's nothing more awful than a comedy that isn't funny. Apparently the folks who made Galaxina were going for a kind of space-movie parody with sex, but there is exactly ONE funny bit in the movie. The bikers on the distant planet who worship Harley Davidson by bowing down to a motorcycle and going "Vroom! Vroom!" That's it. It lasts about 10 seconds, and pfft, end of funny. Quite honestly, has there EVER been a funny space-movie parody besides "Galaxy Quest?" Ever? Nope. And this one isn't either. The jokes are so bad, and so labored, and take so long to arrive, and are delivered so badly, that it's agonizing.

The sex part? THERE ISN'T ANY. Not unless you count the scene in the space bordello, which is neither sexy nor funny. So the movie fails on both counts; it's not funny, and it's not sexy. It just sort of flops around from disconnected scene to disconnected scene. All the guys in the movie are slimy cheeseballs with open shirts and ASCOTS. And then there's Avery Schreiber. Avery Schreiber. Who told this guy he was funny? Can we sue them? Was he funny? Ever?

And what was this movie shot on? I mean, the whole film is blurry. It's out of focus all the way through. I've seen MP3's with better image resolution than this movie.

The only thing that might make this dreadful failure worth watching at all, for even five seconds, is Dorothy Stratton. Poor Dorothy. She can't act, of course, but she is beautiful, even in the sublimely stupid outfits they put her in here. And she goes through this thing like a trooper, doing exactly what she's supposed to, which is act like a robot.

Trust me, this movie's not even good no matter how many of whatever substances you imbibe. It's too awful to even make fun of. It's just plain awful. Unless you are absolutely obsessed with Dorothy Stratton or you have some weird need to collect every bad science fiction movie ever made, avoid this like the plague.

An outer space film starring Avery Schreiber as Captain Cornelius Butt, "Galaxina" is highly underrated as movie schlock goes. It's so INCREDIBLY bad that it's irresistable. Although it WAS created to spoof Star Trek, Star Wars, Alien, and such, it unfortunately is SO badly written that only lots of heavy drinking will relieve the pain it induces. Be ready. This film makes "Spaceballs," which was one of Mel Brooks' weaker spoofs, look like pure genius.

Examples of how bad it really is?
- The character "Mr. Spot" has ears that point downward and, just in case you didn't get the joke, wears a turtleneck shirt with an upside down Starfleet badge.
- The primary bad guy looks like something out of The Mikado instead of an evil space alien.
- Look for the Batmobile...on the Western set that is supposed to be one of the planets.
- Neither Galaxina, the robotic space babe (voluptuous Playboy playmate Dorothy Stratten, who was murdered shortly after the film was released), nor her hunky love interest, Thor, have any funny lines. None. Those were all apparently "reserved" for Avery Schreiber (Captain Butt), although his are so bad that they probably should have been scrubbed, as well.
- Thor is repeatedly rebuffed, in his advances upon Galaxina, by her built-in electric shock force field. The maximum laughter potential here comes from a "No wonder I'm Thor" line the first time it happens. That's it, except they attempt different versions of that multiple times....and it's almost as much of a gutbuster in the film as my description here is.

I do suggest you see this, because it's too awful not to. Buy it? Well...only if you have the devoted taste for absurdly bad movies and TV shows that I do. Ohhh, the pain. The pain!!!!

I love Dorothy Stratten. She was the first Playmate I ever saw and she was the most incredible vision I'd ever seen. I love Science Fiction. I grew up with it and I've read and seen just about everything ever released. I love good bad movies. The first time I saw Deathrace 2000, I couldn't stop laughing. Toxie is a personal hero of mine. I live for Friday night to watch good bad movies and munch on popcorn.

I only mention all of the above to preface my review because they're important. I'm exactly the intended target audience for this movie.

It's bad. Really bad. Bad bad. Using terms like "witty" and "humorous" are completely out of place with this movie. I had a friend in grade school who made witty movies. This isn't even close.

My first impression was incredibly poor. The A G O N I Z I N G L Y slow pan along the length of the spaceship while music that sounded like it was lifted from a Bugs Bunny cartoon in a more serious moment seemed like it would never end. And then it went downhill.

There is no sense of sequence to the story. It's a hodge-podge of scenes that seem to have been written by someone determined to see how bad a movie could be and still be funded and released by a theater. Well, now we know.

The acting is beyond cardboard, the supposed "parody" simply a matter of trying to reference other movies everyone would know without realizing you need to do something clever with it to be funny, and throughout all of this is the maddening Bugs Bunny classical soundtrack.

Don't waste your time... even if you think it would be worth trying to see how bad it is. That's why I saw it. I've seen thousands of movies, and this is my first movie review. That should tell you how bad this movie must be.

If you are like me, and saw this flick when you were younger and have fond memories of it, then save your memories and your money. What was I thinking? Bad acting, bad writing, bad directing. The jokes are horrible and the timing drags...like watching grass grow. This movie makes "Spaceballs" look like an Oscar winner! To add insult to agony, the quality of this DVD is worse than a Betamax bootleg. Fuzzy distorted picture, muddy sound. Probably the worst film quality I've seen since I saw "Hercules in New York" on the Late Late movie. Cult? Yes!, Classic? Only if you are really stoned.

Well we have here a sorts of galactic adventures started in the final and first 80's.

Galaxina(Dorothy R Stratten) is a female robot which leds in the Eternity Police starship.

The crew including a cowboy a shaggy beared captain,a black vampire(or cousin of Mr Spock the vulcanian) and a japanese old man.

They get a mission got to a remote planet to get the Blue Star(ahhh!) from a alien robot which lives in a west town style full of aliens.

Of course they sent Galaxina to get the treasure.

After she is captured by a band of Harley Davidson believers they rescued her and returns to the ship.

The dialogue is a bit cheesy the humour and jokes are very obvius and the intents of Galaxina of talk are evident.

The presence of playmate DRS at least worth the money.

The sound is clear and audible,but the image clarity is poor,it seems that the transfer was done from an old vhs tape.

They should make a better image quality.

A comedy space spoof with take offs from Alien, Star Wars and other space movies. It is far better than Spaceballs.

Teasy, cheesy and a wee bit sleazy. If you enjoy scifi spoof movies like Space Balls and Ice Pirates you might want to give this a watching. But also realize there is good reason it is amongst the cheapies.

The eye candy interest is Dorothy Stratten as Galaxina, a robot that is designed to look like a woman and "has feelings". A sexy woman at that. Just the sort of appliance you want serving on a Police Starship manned by low class bachelors. But don't get pulled in by the "R" rating and "Playboy Playmate" tags. Other than her poorly fitting white spandex outfit, her parts are mildly sensual at best. Things do head towards sleazy in the space bordello scenes which she isn't in, but again, not very much.

Low quality? Cheesy? Cheap gags? A script that is mostly short setups and one liners? Definitely! What could be better for light mindless entertainment. The kind of movie many of us would make if we had a sexy centerfold who insisted on staying dressed and no budget...

Prior to this new 25th anniversary release we were given the terribly horrible Rhino release which took not a second of care in realizing the full potential of this film.

Galaxina was the first film, yes the first film that ever used computer graphics for special effects.

It was also one of the only films that ever used infra-red film, producing some rare and interesting images of a wonderfully beautiful Dorothy Stratten roaming a strange and wild planet surface.

It must be understood that this is not a serious film. It is not trying to win an award. Instead this is a film about fun and spoof. The actors all loved fooling around on the set and having fun making this film. This was a low budget film about making fun of Sci Fi films of that time that took themselves a little too seriously. Please judge it from that perspective.

This new 25th Anniversary release DVD of Galaxina offers the viewer a rare opportunity to see the film as it would be shown in the theater. It is finally in widescreen and the transfer is very crisp. The infra-red scenes are just so colorful and rare.

I encourage everyone to enjoy the craziness of this film.