The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists (Imitation Leather)

~ Neil Strauss (Author) "The house was a disaster..." (more)
Key Phrases: greatest pickup artist, seduction boards, pillow pit, Tyler Durden, Project Hollywood, Ross Jeffries (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Are you just another AFC ("average frustrated chump") trying to meet an HB ("hot babe")? How would you like to "full-close" with a Penthouse Pet of the Year? The answers, my friend, are in Neil Strauss's entertaining book The Game. Strauss was a self-described chick repellant--complete with large, bumpy nose, small, beady eyes, glasses, balding head, and, worst of all, painful shyness around women. He felt like "half a man." That is, until a book editor asked him to investigate the community of pickup artists. Strauss's life was transformed. He spent two years bedding some fine chiquitas and studying with some of the North America's most suave gents--including the best of them all, the God of the pickup "community," a man named Mystery.

Mystery is an aspiring Toronto magician who charges $2,250 for a weekend pickup workshop. He is not much to look at: a cross between a vampire and a computer geek. But by using high-powered marketing techniques he's turned seduction into an effortless craft--even inventing his own vocabulary. His technique sounds like a car salesman's tip sheet: his main rule is FMAC--find, meet, attract, close. He employs the "three-second rule"--always approach a woman within three seconds of first seeing her in order to avoid getting shy. Other tricks: Intrigue a beautiful woman by pretending to be unaffected by her charm; also, never hit on a woman right away. Start with a disarming, innocent remark, like "Do you think magic spells work?" or "Oh my god, did you see those two girls fighting outside?" And finally, the most important characteristic of the pickup artist--smile.

After two years, Strauss ends up becoming almost as successful as Mystery, but he comes to an important realization. His techniques were actually off-putting to the woman he ended up falling in love with. And they never prepared him for actually having a relationship. After a while, he ran out of one-liners and had to have a real conversation. Still, The Game is a great read that may help some AFCs come out of their shells. --Alex Roslin

From Publishers Weekly

[Signature]Reviewed by Amy SohnI never dated Neil Strauss, but I dated guys like him. Like many New York women, I have always gone for balding, pale guys because they're grateful and good in bed. But a few years ago, a distraught Strauss decided he was a loser with women and set about transforming himself into the world's greatest pick-up artist. The Game is his long, often tedious but hilarious account of how he did it. This ugly-duckling tale will affect different readers in different ways, depending on their degree of cynicism: some will be awed by Strauss's ménage-à-trois snowball scene, while others will suspect it was cribbed from a third-rate porno Strauss watched in his pre-macking days.When his story begins Strauss is, well, a Neil: an unconfident, self-described AFC (average frustrated chump). He is also, it should be noted, a well-known rock critic who penned porn star Jenna Jameson's autobiography, leaving one wondering just how pathetic women really found him. After paying $500 to join a workshop for aspiring PUAs (pick-up artists) led by a magician named Mystery at Hollywood's Roosevelt Hotel, Strauss becomes addicted to pick-up technique. He trains with several PUA gurus, including Ross Jeffries, a hypnotist rumored to be the basis for the Tom Cruise character in Magnolia. With his brains and dedication, Strauss renames himself Style and soon becomes a master of the game—able to get sex from beautiful women who once would have run the other way.But The Game doesn't get really interesting until Strauss deviates from his NC-17 Horatio Alger story and tells what happens when he moves into a Sunset Strip mansion with a group of other PUAs. He starts to see the misogyny of the sport and realizes that most of its leaders had miserable childhoods. The AFC who became a PUA to understand women ultimately becomes an expert on men.As Strauss grows restless to talk about things other than number closes and phase shifts (the book's glossary is a juicy read of its own), the mansion loses its appeal and he reluctantly grows up. When he meets a tough-talking band mate of Courtney Love's named Lisa and they bond over music, we can guess where the narrative is headed. In the book's final pages, he dumps onto his bed all the phone numbers he's collected and tells Lisa, "I've spent two years meeting every girl in L.A. And out of them all, I chose you," which is like telling your mother-in-law that the Thanksgiving dinner you had last year at Applebee's was nothing compared to the one she just prepared. But for some reason, Lisa doesn't flee. I can only hope that in the inevitable 2007 movie version, starring Jack Black and Kate Hudson, Lisa throws the numbers in his face and leaves him for a guy who knows how to pay a girl a compliment. (Sept. 1)Amy Sohn is the author of My Old Man, which was just released in paperback by Simon & Schuster, and she writes the "Mating" column for New York magazine.
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Product Details

• Imitation Leather: 452 pages
• Publisher: It Books; 1 edition (September 6, 2005)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0060554738
• ISBN-13: 978-0060554736
• Product Dimensions: 9 x 6.1 x 1.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (606 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #293 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

419 of 432 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Learn the Rules, but Don't Play "The Game", October 30, 2007

By	Scrutinizing Consumer (Los Angeles, CA) - See all my reviews

"The Game", at first, appears to be an informative, eye-opening, entertaining and DANGEROUS MANUAL ON HOW TO SEDUCE WOMEN. Deep within this controversial book, however, lies one of the best self improvement books available to man... as long as he understands and embraces the fundamental reality that the acquisition of confidence and personal worth are strictly required in order to succeed at the Game. A lot of low self esteem individuals will read this book and become, I believe, better men.

And I completely understand the threat many women would feel by this material. But intelligent women are insulated from the manipulation at which many of the individuals featured in this story are so inept. Only the naïve are at risk, as they always have been.

Many people refer to this book as a manual on how to seduce women. But Neil Strauss, its author, never made such a claim. It was merely his honest and humorous account of his experience in the PUA (pickup artist) community. But Strauss is a talented writer. And, as such, he not only managed to make this the very entertaining and insightful manual everybody said it was, but has also given an extremely valuable tool to goodhearted men with benign goals - a tool that can be used with mutual benefit, without anyone getting hurt or played. In spite of other reviewers' claims to the contrary, Strauss does disclose the nature and vivid examples of the emotional and spiritual consequences PUAs reap when they manipulate people for narcissistic purposes.

This endeavor began when Strauss, a writer for the New York Times, was given an assignment to write about the underground pickup artist community. Strauss was a skinny, balding intellectual who felt awkward around women and hadn't had much success with them prior. He immediately homed in on a character named Mystery and hit the mother load. Mystery was a modern day Casanova and widely considered, by the cumulative underground community of PUAs, to be the preeminent pickup artist in the world. Tom Cruise's seduction guru character in "Magnolia" was supposedly based on Mystery. By the time Strauss finished his assignment, he had transformed himself and assumed Mystery's title as tenth degree pickup master of the universe.

As I began reading the book, I felt uneasy. Knowing this knowledge was out there felt akin to suddenly discovering a bunch of troubled kids figured out how to make nuclear weapons.

I've always had great interest in psychology and what makes people do the things they do. I discovered my knowledge of psychology was pale in comparison to these guys. They (the serious ones) study contemporary literature on psychology and ancillary subjects, many of which involve some sort of self-improvement. The young, horny ones operate with one laser-focused mission: Bed women... bed as many "9+" women as possible! The more they bed, the more they validate themselves. But some, more enlightened ones, were simply looking to find the best wife/partner they possibly could.

Strauss began as Mystery's student. After a few successes, he began to catch the eye of other PUAs to whom he quickly acclimated himself. He soaked up their knowledge like a sponge. At the end of two years, Strauss had studied, one-on-one, the methods of all the world's alleged greatest pickup artists and took that which best suited his own personal style and made it his own. In the process he became an underground, worshipped legend - Code Name: Style. But in the process, he also greatly strengthened his core person and acquired the Holy Grail: self-esteem. This book doesn't just contain the cumulative knowledge of the PUA community, but one hell of an entertaining story.

It must be stated that the Game's contribution to much of Strauss' unstoppable success is mitigated by the fact that he was a writer for one of the most respected publications in the world, living in a mansion in the Hollywood Hills over Sunset Boulevard (a consequence of rising to the top of the PUA community), regularly interviewing celebrities and driving a nice car; most men with these assets aren't having issues dating. Still, I believe the majority of what he achieved was aided by his mastery of the basic principals of "The Game". And those are:

1. You can only "game" a woman with whom you are prepared to fail (if you find yourself wanting her too badly, you'll never have her)
2. Exude extreme confidence
3. Demonstrate some kind of value, skill or talent NEAR your target, but not directly to her. Initially, pretend you don't even notice her.
4. Win over her friends
5. Be hard to get
6. Be fun
7. Handle challenges from competing men intellectually and psychologically. Never fight.
8. Respond to any signs that she's not interested as if it were "no big deal"
9. Once you have your target's attention, playfully insult ("neg") her. For example, "I like your hair, is that your natural color?" The more beautiful the woman, the more effective the neg is in garnering interest as they rarely hear comments of that nature.
10. Once attraction has been established, punish any unwanted behavior by withdrawing and disinterest, but do not pout or have an attitude.
11. Alternate between attraction and disinterest signals in a push-pull fashion until rapport is established

There are many other rules, but those are the ones that stuck out to me.

As I read, I found myself subconsciously adjusting my behavior, according to Game theory... and getting surprising results. Women that used to intimidate me with their "presence" were suddenly acting goofy/nervous around me. Could this be real? After I got over the initial excitement of my newfound knowledge, I began to get disappointed that the women that made ME goofy/nervous for so long could be so easily manipulated. I feared that I would start to lose respect for women. Who wants someone they don't respect?

But by the time I got to the end, I realized that I wasn't manipulating anyone. I was simply carrying myself with more confidence. I found myself initiating conversations with strangers. There were no signs of neediness or social anxiety. I realized a man with a conscience can take a small portion of the knowledge shared in "The Game" to simply get over that first, most difficult hurdle of establishing rapport with a woman to whom he is attracted. I realized all anyone reading this book is really looking for is confidence. And many individuals that happen to gain a skill or talent as a result of his quest for a better sex life might just get some self esteem in the process. And that, I believe, is the greatest good of this material. The greater one's self esteem, the higher his goals.

Knowledge is power. And it's only how that power is used that can reveal the nature of its possessor. The only real dangerous "players" out there are the ones whose cognitive reasoning and emotional maturity never fully develop and, at the same time, possess Oscar-worthy acting skills. Yeah, there are a few out there. But an intelligent woman knows when she's being played. And as Strauss saw repeatedly, manipulating and seducing a woman, in and of itself, is a victory that invariably leaves one hollow, still unfulfilled. In the end, your true self is what counts and is the only thing that can find and keep love.

705 of 818 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Fascinating ... and not a little creepy, October 18, 2005

By	Alexis Coxon (Holt, MI, USA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

First, a disclaimer, because of the sniping going on about this book: I don't know any of the people portrayed in "The Game." I have no biases in either direction regarding any of them. In fact, I'm a straight (and married) female, so I really have no vested interest in ANY pick-up strategies.

I read "The Game" after seeing a review of it in the newspaper. I was amused and a bit intrigued at the idea of a whole subculture centered around seducing members of the opposite sex -- at the idea of guys who honestly had NO other goals in life.

In a way, it's almost an inspirational story in the beginning. Everyone likes an underdog, and the short, bald guy who's suddenly able to get all the babes is no exception. But it wouldn't be much of a story if there wasn't a dark side to the success. Strauss describes how he loses interest in everything EXCEPT picking up women and in fact feels compelled to hit on them almost constantly. He holds seminars on seduction. He posts to message boards about seduction. He lives in a house full of guys whose sole interest is seduction -- some who spend thousands of dollars attending seminars around the country.

Of course, at the end, he realizes that all the tricks and one-liners he uses to get a woman into bed won't help him when he meets The One. And maybe I'm a bit naive, but isn't that what most of us really want in the end?

Strauss is a fine writer, though not a highly remarkable one. I think the story itself, rather than the writing, is what carries the book. The characters are truly compelling -- especially Mystery, who I almost want to meet to see if he's as irresistable as everyone seems to think. (You have to wonder, though, if his techniques work half so well when the women already know about them.)

So, should guys who can't meet women pick up this book? I don't think so. I -do- believe that some of the advice here could work, such as "negging" -- giving a good-looking girl a subtle put-down to make her want to win you over. I know that, in my single days, I was more intrigued by the guys who weren't under my spell, so to speak. Still, it doesn't make putting people down a nice thing to do.

My problem with this book is that it might be overly seductive to single guys, and draw people in to a rather twisted subculture -- which I think is NOT the author's intent. I also think that the techniques described encourage objectification of women to an extreme, and aren't particularly healthy for guys, either.

It's easy to see how becoming an expert in seduction would sound, well, seductive. But these "expert" philosophies all have one thing in common: They treat women as the enemy. And we're not, I swear!

To summarize: If you're looking for a good read, pick up "The Game." If you're trying to meet women, get some fashion advice and learn how to boost your self-confidence, because magic tricks and insults aren't going to get you into a relationship worth having.

45 of 49 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars a bit shallow but possibly worth reading once, December 19, 2006

By	S. Bartell "abiding dude" (Irvine, CA USA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This is one of the strangest autobiographies I've ever read. I found it difficult to put down, much in the same way that I can't help but slow down and look at the scene of an accident while passing by on the freeway. But does anyone ever turn around and go back for another look at an accident, or tell his friends to drive over and see it? It's easy to cheer on Strauss as he develops more confidence, improves his sex life, and eventually leaves the community of socially damaged pickup artists that he helped establish, but the degree of self-transformation is over-hyped. In the end, the author finally recognizes that pickup artists "derive [their] entire self-esteem and identity from the attention of the opposite sex." Remarkably, it took several years of Strauss' life and 350 pages of text to reach this conclusion.

Here are a few other observations:

* The book opens with an awkward flash-forward that should have been saved for later.

* It does include potentially useful information for picking up young, credulous women with low self-esteem, but one could probably get more detailed information from any of the "how-to" books cited by Strauss.

* Some of the "ESP" tricks used for pickups are so silly that it's embarrassing that they impress anyone.

* Strauss actually quotes Gloria Steinem: "The first problem for all of us, men and women, is not to learn, but to unlearn." The author is probably aware of the irony of quoting a feminist icon, but may not realize that the same speech also included this line: "Much of the trouble this country is in has to do with the masculine mystique: The idea that manhood somehow depends on the subjugation of other people." Though the women ("targets") portrayed in the book really do seem to want the sexual encounters, the few resulting relationships portrayed in the book are hard to describe as anything other than subjugation.

* Despite his recognition that the relationships he forms through pickup are ultimately unsatisfying, Strauss truly feels he is a better man for all of his experiences. Disturbingly, he doesn't seem to realize that he's more of a man because he's more confident, not because he's learned how to juggle multiple girlfriends with emotional detachment. Surely there are more direct paths to self-improvement.