Customer Reviews

Gang of Roses

5 star:		(10)
4 star:		(7)
3 star:		(8)
2 star:		(6)
1 star:		(13)

 

 

I don't know where to begin. This movie is brought to us by none other than "Jake" from the movie "Fresh". You may remember him as the guy who kept screaming "I'ma dead him deader than dead!" I guess this movie is funny in that it is so awful. It's like watching "Cabin Boy", only it's meant to be serious (I think?). Ok, so you've got a band of outlaw cowgirls or whatever who apparently used to rob banks. The group consists of actress Marie Matiko (don't hurt yourself, I'd never heard of her either), LisaRaye and "Ebony" from "Player's Club", a Lil' Kim who keeps blowing on her guns (do I really need to make a joke about this?), and somehow Stacy Dash was even duped into being in this movie. Also in the movie, there's Bobby Brown with an eye patch...actually there are quite a few people throughout this movie with eye patches, I'm not sure what the deal is with that but you could have a drinking game while watching this movie and drink every time you see an eye patch. Then there is Macy Gray... I don't get her part at all. Oh yeah, there is also a brief cameo from Mario Van Peebles that makes no sense whatsoever. The dialog is atrocious, the outlaw chicks look like they are shooting a video for a Nelly remake of Kool Moe Dee's "Wild, Wild West". The plot, if you can call it that, is just flat out stupid. Still, I could not take my eyes off this movie. It's like watching a train wreck or Jerry Springer - there's this morbid curiosity to see just how bad it can get.I recommend watching it only if you and a friend are bored and want something to laugh at and make jokes about later.

Gang of Roses tries to be the female "Posse" but these "Bad Girls" are in a movie so hysterically inaccurate that you can't help but laugh out loud watching this serious western. I wish Mike, Crow And Tom Servo were still around. Gang of Roses would be perfect viewing on the Satellite of Love. This movie ranks up there with Wild Wild Wild, World of Batwoman and Manos the Hands of Fate as prime MST3K material.
A gang of cowgirls is out to get buried treasure in the old west. There's the plot ripped straight from Mario Van Peebles' "Posse". Sadly this film lacks any of the historical context and story of Van Peebles film or its attention to detail. (Van Peebles actually makes a cameo here, but I actually think they just cut a small scene of "Posse" out and spliced it in. If you look closely the frames don't even match up with the rest of the movie.) Maybe the Gang of Roses needs to start running again. Trial lawyers are soon to be on their trail.
Gang of Roses has so many blaring historical errors that it comes off as a campy farce instead of a serious western. The gang is a group of three "sassy" sistas and one Asian woman. That's right, sassy independent black women and a "down" Chinese woman complete with cornrows in the 1890s old west. These women are real trailblazers, because they made a whole lot more progress than Elizabeth Cady Staton, Sojourner Truth, Harriet Tubman and Lucreita Mott did in the same time period. These sistas and Chinese woman were actual hard-core feminists in a period when the movement of women's suffrage was just getting started. Someone needs to tell these women they don't even have the right to own property or vote yet.
If the jackass executive who greenlit this project took the time to read an elementary school history book before filming of this move started, they would have taken the pages of this screenplay and flushed them down the toilet. Then they would have sent the writer of said script back to elementary school to finish their education. Maybe this time the kindergarten dropout would actually graduate grade school before starting work on another silly psuedo-feminist screenplay. The details in this movie do not fit in any historical film about the 1890's save for Westerns made in Bizarro World like this one. In the 1890's there were never:
Perfectly arched eyebrows, manicured hands. Oh yeah, let's not forget the make-up that stays perfect in one hundred degree Texas heat.
Clean, oiled braids and perfectly styled hair and weaves. Only on Bizarro World are there hair salons available for black women to get their kitchen cleaned up when Madame C.J. Walker hasn't been born to invent the straightening comb yet.
No White people for miles except for one man who is sheriff of a predominantly black town. Last time I checked a history book the United States was at least 70% White in the 1890s.
Women wearing leather pants. Women wearing pants and men not ridiculing them for it. Women wearing leather pants period. In the 1890's most women wore ankle-length skirts and dresses. Only one woman is know to frequently wear pants in the West during this period and that was the legendary "Calamity" Jane Canary. Even though it was part of her unique style, other cowboys of the period often scrutinized her.
LisaRaye's white leather costume staying white even though she sleeps in the desert. Hey, why is she wearing a white leather costume in the old west if she wants to blend in? White is a color that makes you a BIG easy target if you're an "outlaw" in the dusty old west. Oh well, this is Bizarro World where women wear pants. White is like black here.
LisaRaye being a knife thrower who wears a white leather outfit. Like she'd stand a chance wearing white in a room full of guys carrying revolvers with throwing knives.
LisaRaye having more knives than a Ginsu factory. I guess She called in the last thirty minutes of the infomercial and got the bonus paring knife set and a set of Ginsu's s great teak knives too.
Women in the 1890's wearing low-cut midriff bearing shirts. In this conservative era showing some shoulder and a little too much ankle got you branded as "loose". But this is Bizarro World where people from over a hundred years ago still dress like the women of today.
The Chinese cowgirl. Eh, this is the 1890's. Most Chinese women who immigrated to America during this period were extremely conservative in their dress and mannerisms. They didn't wear outfits with bare midriffs and cornrow hairstyles, nor did they act so aggressively.
The map. For a secret map depicting a secret location, just about everyone had a copy of it.
Macy Gray's part. See reason above. I'm still scratching my head about this one.
The final frames of the film. What was the purpose of the black guy on the horse?
The acting in this movie is some of the worst I've seen since Dolemite. Only Stacey Dash and the asian actress perform well. LisaRaye tries her best, but the material is just too campy for a serious actress like her to make work. (I'm still figuring out why she's on All of Us, she sticks out like a sore thumb in that awful sitcom) Lil' Kim is just Lil Kim hip-hop diva here. Bobby Brown's acting is so bad I realize he needs his Gumby haircut, genie pants, and dancers to ever give a good performance again. Macy Gray should just stick to records.
Unless you're looking to have a MST3K party with your friends and you need a film to rip, avoid this Lifetime Television for Bizarro Women pseudo feminist claptrap.

This is "The Symphony" with women at film-length. Yes, the idea of women of color as outlaws in the West is novel. However, whereas "Posse" contextualized race in the West, this film leaves the issue absent. You mean to tell me that nineteenth-century racism and sexism wouldn't have impeded black and Asian women!? C'mon! Mario Van Peebles makes a guest appearance, but if you blink you'll miss it. And it's random too! But the thing I hate the most is the anachronisms here. Hello! Women of color 100 plus years ago did not wear midriff shirts a la Destiny's Child. These women were in pants though American women didn't start doing that en masse until World War II. Second, women had braids, twists, and weaves that I have NEVER seen in an American history book. Third, phrases are thrown around like "chill out!", "You're acting like a female dog!", and "My ex-boyfriend taught me that." (Boyfriend arose as a word in the mid-twentieth century.) Obviously the directors here didn't do the research that Julie Dash did for "Daughters of the Dust." The film can be read a lesbophobic. When I found out who the mystery woman was at the end, I almost choked. There's a reason why this terrible film went straight to video.

Ok, I just kept thinking this can't really be as bad as it seems...it just got worse the longer it went on. Stacey Dash was the only one who could act and even at that - I just can't believe it was so bad - it takes so many people & so much money to make a movie - didn't any of those people say "this really blows..."? Bad editing, Bad writing, Bad acting, Great premise, terrible execution - and last but not least, Bobby Brown & L'il Kim...

Now before I could even watch one frame of this movie, I was laughting thanks to the list of names of the people who were to appear in the movie. Or maybe the fact all of them were appearing in the same movie. On their own, they're not too bad. But together? Seeing Bobby Brown's name certainly put me in hysterics. I just KNEW this movie would be bad; but I watched it just so I could see how bad it was. It lived up to my expectations, and then some.

I laughed so hard throughout the movie even though it isn't a comedy. Too bad. It would have been excellent if that's what the filmmakers had aimed for. Gang of Roses attempting seriousness is what would have happened if the Wayans Brothers had attempted seriousness in White Chicks.

Were there any Chinese people in the Old West in the 19th century? Were blacks getting served in bars in the 19th century? Our ancestors couldn't even get served in the 1960s, but I guess it was different in the West. They had relaxers back then too. And the BLACK people were allowed to carry guns and tell the WHITE sheriff what to do.

Example of unintentional funny scene. Stacey Dash is about to be hanged, and they ask her if she has any last words. Do you know what she says? Read the title of my review. If this isn't bad enough, Stacey is actually the one MOST watchable, yet her screen time is the shortest.

A new Hollywood definitely needs to be made where our black actors are not forced to star in films like this to make a living.

Gang of Roses would have worked so well as a comedy. Then, we could have suspended belief and just enjoyed it for its goal: to make us laugh. But as it is, I can't rate it any higher.

With this cast and this concept, GANG OF ROSES had me intrigued. I must confess that I actually went out of my way to check out the results...proof positive that I have way too much time on my hands.

During the late 1890s, five female bank robbers-four African Americans (Monica Calhoun, Lil' Kim, Stacey Dash, LisaRaye) and one Asian (Marie Matiko)-comprise the "Rose Gang." After committing 27 robberies within a five-year period, they split up and vanish without a trace. But when Calhoun's sister is brutally murdered, the ladies reunite to clean up a small town under siege.

You'd think that a movie featuring Bobby Brown as a snarling, eye-patched villain and a cameo by THE LOVE BOAT's Ted Lange (as a bartender, no less!) wouldn't take things too seriously, but aside from a few wisecracks from Lil' Kim (the littlest outlaw with the biggest pistolas), GANG OF ROSES is deadly earnest in nearly every department. Apparently writer-director Jean Claude LaMarre (who also appears, ineffectually, as Lil' Kim's love interest) sincerely wanted to make the Great Revisionist Western, and if the film isn't a complete failure, a lighter hand and a breezier pace would have helped tremendously. Because the script wears its solemnity squarely on its sleeve, it's difficult to pass judgment on the performances; many competent cast members dutifully deliver their dialogue on the same one-note level, and Lil' Kim handles her acting chores with the same aplomb that was evident in her Old Navy commercials. (It may be interesting, however, to see how she'd fare in a comedic role.)

Ultimately, GANG OF ROSES is what it is: an ineffectual piece of filmmaking for the terminally curious. Expect it to turn up in the discount DVD bins at Wal-Mart soon...if it isn't there already.

Sistas in da hood. Looking for revenge and bling bling. Except da hood
is a wild west town in the late 1800s. I do not remember any westerns
like this when I was growing up. What would Randolph Scott say? If he
saw Lil' Kim, he might say, "Alright! I have to admit that I tuned into
this just to see her. Bare midriffs and low cut blouses are not the
staple of the usual cowboy flick, but these are the cowgirls, and they
are fine.

Now, don't go looking for any major story here, and the usual stuff of
ghetto crime drama are here in a different setting. And, when's the
last time you heard John Wayne call someone, "Dawg"? And, I don't
remember the Earp brothers hugging and kissing before they marched to
the OK Corral.

I watch this on BET, so I missed the action that got it an R rating,
but I doubt if I will buy the DVD to see it unless I can be assured it
was Lil' Kim in that action.

I enjoyed this movie for what it is, a wonderful, fictional, cult classic. Let's face it, Gang of Roses is not Citizen Kane, and I don't believe the director was trying to make it that. I loved this movie for the same reason I enjoyed The Rocky Horror Picture Show,it made me smile and kept me entertained. Gang of Roses is not about life as it "really" was but life as we "wish" it could have been, featuring 5 Bad Black women, who refused to be victims. We have enough Roots-type films that focuses on the "truth" and the long suffering of the African American due to racism. It is nice to see a film that is not that deep. The best thing about the film is the tagline, "Two Roads, the past and the future, leave the pain in the past." I think of these women as "futuristic females" who rocked the past, especially in the scenes where they are shot walking together or riding horses with hot clothes, hair blowing and nails done. I believe even Harriet Tubman and Sojurner Truth would applauad if they were given the freedom to dress and behave this way, although Harriet Tubman was known to "pack heat"... I mean carry gun. The bottom line is that this is a fictional movie, not based on reality, and it does a good job of telling a fun story.

The worst thing about the film was the Macy Gray character. Her role was not developed enough and it left me confused a little bit. But the villians, Bobby Brown and the crazy chick with the pigtails, Charity Hill, were great.

Really good performances were given by Stacy Dash and Lisa Raye, who were believable as beautiful, cold hearted, outlaws. Lil Kim was true to her image and played a great outlaw "vixen". And Monica and Marie were good as the "voices of reason and good sense." Over all I give this movie a B+. I'm all for the powerful female in film, need more films like that!

Where to begin with this. My girlfriend got in on her Netflix with the full expectation it would be pretty rough, but in hopes of at least having fun with it. That we did. This movie was literally hilarious from beginning (how much riding can you do in the first 4 minutes?) to the end (Macy Gray?????). Basically the film is a weak version of a Western involving an all female, all minority gang. We are lead to believe this gang robbed about two dozen banks some years back (amazing really considering that 6 or so minority women in 1890s midwest had to be easy as hell to identify and capture...) then gone into hiding. They have now re-convened to identify and capture the "man" who murdered a town ho, also known as the sister of main character Monica Calhoun (in an absolutely AWFUL set of twists). The rest involves shiny guns, bad lines, one of the weakest sex scenes ever and lots of scenes with them randomly walking in a full showgirl line toward the camera, something they apparently like to do at dusk for the cool visual. I think all the reviewers have hit the major anachronisms - weave in the 1800s, silicon in the 1800s, free and sassy black women in the 1800s, etc. So I'll just offer some of the funnier plot points to consider:
- What the hell is Mario van Peebles doing in here? And in his scene ask yourself, how does one shoot a belt off a person?
- Where is Lisa Raye getting all these knives? Does she belong to some sort of lifetime knife o'the month club?
- Why in the HELL is the Asian woman in mandarin pajamas??? And where would she have come from in the 1800s?
- Why do bad guys always hide their gold, then inexplicably leave a map?
- Why, when Bobby Brown's gang opens a coffin ins earch of said map, do they cover their noses? They already showed nothing but bones was inside - so what are they smelling?
- How exactly did Stacey Dash's character manage to ride all the way back from wherever she went to retrieve her watch (seemed like she rode all the way to Harlem) when she was shot and wounded? And then the scene when she rolls off the horse and dies? CLASSIC! It's like someone dumped her half dead self onto her horse and sent h er home. lmao

Finally a technical note for the movie makers co nsidering adding a lesbian angle to their film, as this one did (the killer of Calhouns sisters is actually a woman who tried to rape the chick in the street). There is nothing, NOTHING that two women can do in the middle of the street. Vaginas and penises are just not the same - you can't just whip the former out and start making whoopee. It's the difference between packing a sandwich for lunch or packing fondue - just too technical!

I found this movie while channel hopping late one night. I was thrilled at the prospect of an all-girl version of Posse starring LisaRaye and Stacey Dash, but this movie got real bad real quick. But the worse it got, the more I kept watching to see how it would turn out; which is kinda the sign that a movie is about to become a cult classic right up there with "Plan 9 From Outer Space" and "Attack of The Killer Tomatoes". You know what I mean, the kind of train wreck that you just can't turn away from.

The acting was bad, the direction was bad, the editing was bad with all this adding up to a lot of almost random scenes with no real connection to each other.

The costumes and makeup in this movie were gorgeous, but ridiculous. The Chinese girl runs around in a bare midriff and cornrows, LisaRaye sports a totally white suit and hat that never got dirty eventhough she sleeps on the ground, Lil Kim has perfectly arched eyebrows, and both she and Stacey Dash have these long, sexy weaves.

Now let's take a historical perspective, would a gang of Black and Asian women really have been able to move about that freely in the 1800's? I think not. And where were all the White people, we've got one white guy playing the hapless sheriff who's constantly catching hell from everybody else.

But I think what bothered me most about this movie was that this band of cold-blooded robbers and killers acutally stood around and "PRAYED" before going out to murder and plunder.

I understand that most of the people in this movie are has beens who probably were desparate for work, but I can't beleive that LisaRaye and Lil' Kim took part in this, let alone Mario Van Peebles.