Customer Reviews

Gay Fathers: Encouraging the Hearts of Gay Dads and Their Families

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Simply put, I was disappointed with the book. The material and examples of gay fatherhood seemed dated. The style was also troubling--the book was written from a therapist's perspective, and it was clearly meant for other mental health professionals (although not necessarily marketed as such). With that said, the only therapists who might benefit from reading it would be straight ones, who have had little or no experience treating gay patients (or gay parents). If you are a gay person considering parenthood, spend your money elsewhere.

Gay Fathers: Encouraging the Hearts of Gay Dads and Their Families
First published in 1990, for many years Gay Fathers was the only book available on the topic of gay fatherhood. In keeping with the times in which it was published, i.e., before the Gayby Boom, its primary focus is on gay men who become fathers through heterosexual marriages. While it was slightly revised in 2000 with additional material to reflect the rise of adoption and other means of fatherhood, much of the material addressed by this book seems dated and irrelevant in these days of Out, Loud and Proud gay fatherhood.

Paradoxically, with gay men with children from previous heterosexual relationships now in the minority among gay fathers, this book has become a valuable resource for this relatively underserved group. With extensive material on issues such as disclosure, custody, separation and divorce, and dealing with wives and other family members, Gay Fathers has come full circle into relevance once again.

The book is now nearly 8 years old, but many of the anecdotes and much of the research is still relevant to those of us going through a divorce or parenting a child with an alternative lifestyle. The book includes excerpts from individuals with their personal experiences and their feelings, along with practice pointers for practitioners in the mental health field. It is an excellent resource for anyone going through a divorce as a result of the sexuality issue. However, I think that if the book were written today, the anecdotes would be more relevant to how our society is now dealing with gays and Dads who are gay. I think the book should also include a section stressing the fact that it is possible to have a perfectly normal relationship with your child as raising a child has little or nothing to do with the sexuality of the parent, as parents do not relate to children on a sexual level. There are thousands of gay dads out there that could use even more information such as this. I hope that Barrett will consider a follow-up or sequal that is current with our change in society regarding homosexuals and their contribution to society.