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Gay and Single...Forever?: 10 Things Every Gay Guy Looking for Love (and Not Finding It) Needs to Know Paperback – August 23, 2006


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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Steve Bereznai (Bur-ez-nay) is a writer/producer for CBC TV. He lives in Toronto, Canada.
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Da Capo Press; 1 edition (August 23, 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1569243565
  • ISBN-13: 978-1569243565
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.6 x 8.1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (17 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,518,505 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Steven Bereznai (www.stevenbereznai.com) is a Toronto-based author and journalist. He's the author of the gay teen super hero book Queeroes, and the "survival guide" Gay and Single...Forever? 10 Things Every Gay Guy Looking for Love (and Not Finding It) Needs to Know.

Customer Reviews

It was very hard to put down.
Kevin D.
I highly recommend this book to any gay man that is having guilt over not being in a relationship.
Douglas Watson
Don't get me wrong, that was really sweet.
D. Ludwig

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

24 of 26 people found the following review helpful By Aryeh on April 4, 2009
Format: Paperback
HI!
I forced myself to read this book twice.. once to simply tread, push, soldier, and wade through the pages of the author's sexcapades, his constant whining/pining, blaming, Ecstasy-induced, Cocaine-facilitated liaisons and to deal with the bleak future he gives gays--some from the interviews he conducted, but most from his own recollections.

My second reading was conducted to really go at it with a determination to be both objective and fair. I liked some of the realities and some of the socio-evolutionary findings. Yet, unfortunately, the second reading made me far more depressed than the first!

Is being a gay single defined solely as a life of clubbing, doing drugs, being obsessed with the body perfect (both yours and the body of the one you're interested in), having to work long hours to have money for a "plastic surgery fund", having sex at bath houses or with prostitutes (oh sorry.. they prefer to be called "escorts".. I tend to call things as they are) or F-buddies (call it what it is!), and basically whining about loves lost and this dark, dank, depressive whole he'd call a life; all the while trying to defy convention and not turning into, as he calls it, a "bitter sheila", but knowing you are slowly becoming one??

The advice he gives could have been given succinctly with clear bullet points and other resources; thereby cutting the book's size in half--and thus saving some of us the vapid tedium of wading through what amounts to a cross between "Bitter Sex and the City" and "Confessions of a Circuit Club Queen".

If his attempt was to be a mentor/role model that single, gay guys look up to, he failed! After the second reading of his book I was half-tempted to fix myself a Drain-o cocktail and end it all.
Read more ›
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22 of 25 people found the following review helpful By my_pen_name on October 22, 2007
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
To sum it up in one word: Vapid. Written by and about exactly the type of gay man(?) who makes me want to renounce my homosexualty. I am half way through this book and don't think I will be able to finish it. The meat of this book is a collection of woeful societial oppression collected & cited from other's works. It seems like a shallow circuit queen's way of excusing her own failure in the relationship arena.

I don't mean to seem bitter, but for around $10.85 Charlotte Kasl's "If the Buddha Dated" is a much better way to get in touch with yourself; Which seems to be the core message of this book.

Berenzai's book makes for the 11th thing I should know about being gay and single.
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29 of 35 people found the following review helpful By D. Ludwig on July 26, 2007
Format: Paperback
Sorry, this book wasn't for me. I gave it a chance, but its language just didn't reach out to me. But mostly, it just wasn't practical enough for me. There were interesting stories shared, like the one where the "friends with benefits" guy actually steps up and helps the author paint in a moment of crisis. Don't get me wrong, that was really sweet. There were a few moments like that.

But I'm newly single and trying to figure out how to date, and this didn't help me do that. I was looking for bulleted lists. Checklists. Nuts and bolts. Succinct and discrete steps. I didn't get that.
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5 of 7 people found the following review helpful By J. Barnes on October 23, 2012
Format: Paperback
I can relate with many of the authors feelings. I came out very young (16) in 1983 and I thought the gay world was just going to welcome me with open arms, I could finally be myself, yeah right naive little boy. I got smacked in the head fast, other gay men were ten times more hateful and mean than any straights I had ever come up against. As I got older I also realized that boyfriends were for the hot, good looking gym guys, not average Joe's like me. For five years I was single, depressed, convinced I would never find someone. I became a sex addict, constantly at the baths looking for some kind of male acceptance. Then I met my first partner, I was sure we would be together forever, but two years later, he found someone better looking with money and dumped me. Seven more years would go by before I met my second partner. That relationship lasted six years until I finally got a clue that being with someone was not worth giving up who I was as a person. My second partner was an emotionally abusive, control freak, but so convinced was I that nobody else would want me I stayed four years to long. It has now been 8 years since then, I have dated but no more partners. I'm no longer a sex addict, I don't go to bars or bath houses, I don't "hook up" on line. If I'm suppose to meet someone, they will come along within the natural pattern of my life, I'm not looking. It took almost my entire adult life to become happy with me and now I never think about "a boyfriend" anymore. I like being single, free to do what I want when I want. I have great friends and family. I travel, I'm out all the time with my friends and I have a great job and condo. You have to find you first, then just let the bf thing happen when it will. Being a gay man is not easy and unfortunately our own community is the worst. I recommend the book if only to give one persepctive on ones own life.
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7 of 10 people found the following review helpful By Kevin D. on October 27, 2006
Format: Paperback
When I first started reading 'Gay and Single....Forever?' I wanted others to read it. I then thought that my coupled friends wouldn't understand it so why tell them about it. When I finished it I wanted to give a copy to all my friends that are in a string of never ending long term relationships and say, "you want to know what it is like being me? - read this book!"

Steven Bereznai touched upon so many things that you don't talk about with your coupled friends so you think that you are the only one experiencing them. He has so many of the same memories and experiences that I myself have had, it was uncanny at times. I have read other books about Cultures of Desire and Male Couple guides, and many had some interesting points, but I related to this book from start to finish. It was very hard to put down.

As I began reading, I found there were many things I wanted to highlight, as I do when I am reading a book or article for work, but I felt that it would be absurd to use a yellow highlighter on a book I was reading for pleasure. I decided to just turn down the corner edge on a page where I read a phrase of interest. By the end, I had marked so many pages, because there was a phrase or paragraph that hit home, that half the corners of the book are now turned down.

There should be discussion groups set-up to discuss this book and I'd be the first to sign-up.

What a great read!
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