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A Generation Alone: Xers Making a Place in the World

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Born in 1962, I'm on the early edge of GenX (some would say I'm a Boomer--till I slap 'em!), and reading this book made some things fall into place for me. Like why I want to go to church, but when I do, I can't stand being there. It's not a place where people gather to support one another and to learn by confronting the hard things about life--it's a religion mill where people go to plaster over the hard things about life. That is not what I want or need. The previous reviewer is right--until there are churches that are willing to preach to people's despair and doubt and the apparent pointlessness they feel--NOT to talk around it or try to make everyone into Up With People clones--there's nowhere for us to go. And that does s--k because WE NEED GOD. Hopefully this book will open some eyes, though since I'm only the second reviewer I'm not too hopeful.

A note to Boomers: You always wondered why we Gen-Xers seemed so messed up. When you read this book, you will know why: we have no family. And that is why God appeals to us--He is the Father we never had. So why don't we show up in church? Because no one there is talking about God. If you think laws, or pop psychology, or clever sermons will convert us, you're off track: it's the forgiveness, family, and fatherhood God offers. Go back to that and watch what happens.

An article by Andres Tapia in Christianity Today (September 12, 1994), "Reaching the First Post-Christian Generation," noted that the 38 million young people born between 1963 and 1977 have grown up in "a world of MTV, AIDS, and a trillion-dollar debt." They are, some writers contend, radically different from their parents, whose values and aspirations they largely reject.

To gain insight into this generation, I highly recommend A Generation Alone: Xers Making a Place in the World by William Mahedy and Janet Bernardi (Downers Grove: InterVarsity Press, c. 1994). Mahedy has taught, served as a missionary and army chaplain. (Today's youths have many traumatized traits in common with the war veterans he earlier worked with!). He's been college chaplain for the Episcopal Church in San Diego for 12 years. Bernardi is engaged in medical research at the University of California, San Diego, Medical Center, and coordinates campus ministries for the Episcopal Church. Mahedy represents the "silent generation" and Bernardi speaks for the "Xers." Both cast critical eyes on the "boomers" in between!

Their study, Bernardi confesses, reveals "some startling, disturbing facts. We have discovered the impact of anomie--the lack of moral standards in society--on my generation" (p. 11). In Mahedy's judgment, "the spiritual and psychological problems of young adults and teenagers were far worse than" those faced by earlier generations (p. 13). There've been warnings in the past, issued by researchers such as Richard Chessick who, in 1977, predicted that we were creating a culture which incubates emotional and personal disorders. As he said, "'Today's children are caught up in the current whirlwind of barbarism. This provides a counterforce from which only the very strongest adolescents can emerge unscathed'" (p. 29). This "barbarism," Mahedy thinks, "is at root unbridled selfishness--the worst kind of immorality. It takes many forms, but most disastrous is family breakup" (p. 46). The lack of character which underlies broken commitments, the brutalization of youngsters' psyches when those they most naturally trust betray them, has begun to stamp our culture with its normlessness--a lack of moral principle which underlies much of the violence in the streets our politicians love to lament.

Some commonalities unite the Xers. Most have seen their parents divorce and had working mothers. They're the "first generation of 'latchkey' kids" (p. 17). Many have been abused, often by a stepparent, or neglected. Parents have abandoned our their offspring, letting them to chart their own moral and spiritual pathways, leaving them bruised and cynical about a society which declares (by its actions) them liabilities, hindrances to adult pleasures, as disposable as unwanted embryos. While well-educated, Xers find employment problematic as sophisticated technologies eliminate the need for human workers. They know their elders have placed them in hock, drawing borrowed money to subsidize a multitude of entitlements, willing to leave their kids and grandkids awash in astronomical debt. In a passing note, Mahedy refers to a statement he heard years ago while in Japan as a missionary, when an old German missionary asserted that the great challenge was not Japanese culture. "'The real question is, How do you preach the gospel to a technological civilization?'" (p. 146).

Consequently, Bernardi says, "We Xers have paid the emotional price for the consumer society in which our elders have participated so fervently" (p. 18). What defines them, she thinks, is "aloneness" (p. 19), an aloneness which leaves them longing for the family they never had. Often "successful" in careers, living with roommates or lovers, Xers are much "like random molecules bumping into other molecules" (p. 21). They distrust people and fear to make commitments lest they be hurt. They distrust institutions as much as persons. Xers have little interest in traditional politics or traditional religion in their institutional forms. But they are deeply aware of a "space" reserved for God in their heart of hearts. They long for an authentic "community" which will provide them the family they never knew. Indeed, "Restoration of community is the primary need for Generation X" (p. 82). A Gospel which restores relationships, a Gospel which brings persons into harmony, will find a hearing among this generation.

Having themselves walked the via dolorossa, having felt the agony of their own calvaries, Xers easily identify with the crucified Christ and are drawn to His saving Grace. The very thing which haunts them--aloneness--may be transformed, for as Mahedy says, "Aloneness is empowerment and grace when it cries out to God to fill the empty spaces in the soul. Aloneness is a strength because it can become a place of real solitude wherein one can hear the subtle whisperings of God" (p. 177). Longing for something--or Someone--to give life meaning, they're open to the Word which brings Light. There is, in fact, great opportunity for the Christian Church if it wants to reach the "twenty-somethings." As Bernardi testifies: "Many of us walk through the valley of death by walking to our cars, going to the cash machine or standing in a post office. We fear evil, and there is little comfort, because we feel alone. "But some of us," she continues, "have found a place where there is solace and comfort, and goodness and love. we were invited into the house of the Lord, and a table was set for us. God was waiting for us. He anointed our heads with oil, and we found that our cups were never empty" (p. 136). For the Xers, Mahedy adds, the best "paradigm" for the church is an oasis (p. 143).

We who work with the Xers need to be especially concerned with the integrity of our lives. They frequently lack self-discipline but want it; they need that we "pay more attention to the formation of good habits through the practice of self-discipline" (p. 109). They long for strong families, and they need to find in the Church some lasting illustrations of vows kept sacred. They've lived out the sexual ethos of their elders, proved its failure, and wonder if in fact something sacred really attends the marriage bond. "Boomers in their youth," writes Mahedy in an insightful passage, "confused the statement of an ideal with its attainment. They still do. 'Make love, not war' was and still is a nice sound bite, but it has little meaning as a statement of complex reality. It has no reference to the way the world works" (p. 126). To the Boomers, saying things makes them so, singing songs makes things change, imagining peace makes the world safe! Since the '60's we've been afflicted with elders who "talk the talk" but don't "walk the walk."

Xers want to walk the walk, Mahedy and Bernardi insist. If some of us who are their elders, will lend a hand, there's opportunity for us to join them in that enterprise. From such may come the re-making of our world!