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Generation Ex-Christian: Why Young Adults Are Leaving the Faith. . . and How to Bring Them Back [Paperback]

Drew Dyck
4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (39 customer reviews)

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Book Description

September 27, 2010

Young people aren't walking away from the church-they're sprinting. According to a recent study by Ranier Research, 70 percent of youth leave church by the time they are 22 years old. Barna Group estimates that 80 percent of those reared in the church will be "disengaged" by the time they are 29 years old. Unlike earlier generations of church dropouts, these "leavers" are unlikely to seek out alternative forms of Christian community such as home churches and small groups. When they leave church, many leave the faith as well.

Drawing on recent research and in-depth interviews with young leavers, Generation Ex-Christian will shine a light on this crisis and propose effective responses that go beyond slick services or edgy outreach. But it won't be easy. Christianity is regarded with suspicion by the younger generation. Those who leave the faith are often downright cynical. To make matters worse, parents generally react poorly when their children go astray. Many sink into a defensive crouch or go on the attack, delivering homespun fire-and-brimstone sermons that further distance their grown children. Others give up completely or take up the spiritual-sounding "all we can do is pray" mantra without truly exploring creative ways to engage their children on matters of faith. Some turn to their churches for help, only to find that they frequently lack adequate resources to guide them. This is where Generation Ex-Christian will lend a hand. It will equip and inspire parents, church leaders, and everyday Christians to reawaken the prodigal's desire for God and set him or her back on the road to a dynamic faith. The heart of the book will be the raw profiles of real-world, young ex-Christians. No two leavers are identical, but upon close observation some categories emerge. The book will identify seven different kinds of leavers (the postmodern skeptic, the drifter, the neopagan, etc.) and offer practical advice for how to connect with each type. Shrewd tips will also intersperse the chapters alerting readers to opportunities for engagement, and to hidden landmines they must sidestep to effectively reach leavers.


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Generation Ex-Christian: Why Young Adults Are Leaving the Faith. . . and How to Bring Them Back + You Lost Me: Why Young Christians Are Leaving Church...and Rethinking Faith
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Editorial Reviews

Review

FRONT MATTER BLURBS (see below for FRONT COVER and BACK COVER BLURBS)

"Simply the best guide on the varieties of unbelief in the postmodern era. Not only does Generation Ex-Christian compassionately diagnose the ways people flee and fight God, but Drew Dyck wisely counsels his readers on how to best communicate and model the beauty, truth, and compassion of the Gospel to each variety of unbelief. The book captivated me from beginning to end."

-Jim Belcher, author of Deep Church

"Drew guides us through the blur of the forest's edge, and crouches down to point out the various root causes of why young people are deserting the Christian faith. By exposing our overgeneralizations, this book helps us to respond with love, truth, and grace-one person at a time."

-James Choung, author of True Story

"Many of us have had the heart-wrenching experience of watching someone we love abandon their walk with God. In fact, young people are leaving the Christian faith at an alarming and unprecedented rate. In this insightful and important book, which I nearly finished in a single sitting, Drew Dyck delves into the reasons for this phenomenon, giving us six different categories of leavers and practical ways to re-engage them. A compelling read for anyone involved with today's youth."

-Felicity Dale, House2House Ministries and co-author of The Rabbit and the Elephant

"As a 20-something I struggle with watching my peers leave the church one-by-one. Generation Ex-Christian is a great tool to better understand the needs of young adults. Don't wait for another young person to leave the church. Pick up your copy today!"

-Renee Johnson, author of Faithbook of Jesus and creator of Throw Mountains.

"Every person that leaves the church has a story-it's often complicated and interwoven with a myriad of life experiences. Dyck unwinds these multifaceted stories and carefully explains why young adults drift from God. You will recognizemany of Dyck's portraits. They are people in your life-your neighbors, family, and friends. He reveals the emotional backdrop of why people wander from faith. This book will help you find ways to journey with people and help guide them back to the one, true story that matters most."

-Sam Rainer, president of Rainer Research and author of Essential Church?: Reclaiming a Generation of Dropouts

"What Drew does here is take something that people of faith are often scared to think about, something that people of faith need to think about, and make us face the problem. Then he provides real insight into why young people leave and gives guidance on how to engage them."

-Josh Riebock, author of mY Generation

"Drew Dyck wants to help people who once were found, but now are lost. He paints detailed portraits of those who've left the church and the Christian faith in all their complexity. But he doesn't write as a disinterested documentarian merely cataloguing the reasons for their departures. Generation Ex-Christian is ultimately about bringing 'leavers' back to faith. He offers unlikely but welcome counsel in this age of non-judgmental 'conversations' and 'journeys.' If you're longing to rescue friends, relatives, and others who've left their Christian faith, Generation Ex-Christian is for you."

-Candice Watters, founding editor of Boundless.org


FRONT COVER BLURB

"Simply the best guide on the varieties of unbelief in the postmodern era."
-Jim Belcher, author of Deep Church


BACK MATTER BLURBS

"Drew guides us through the blur of the forest's edge, and crouches down to point out the various root causes of why young people are deserting the Christian faith. By exposing our overgeneralizations, this book helps us to respond with love, truth, and grace-one person at a time."

-James Choung, author of True Story

"Young people are leaving the Christian faith at an alarming and unprecedented rate. DrewDyck delves into the reasons for this phenomenon, giving us six different categories of leavers and practical ways to re-engage them. A compelling read for anyone involved with today's youth."

-Felicity Dale, House2House Ministries and co-author of The Rabbit and the Elephant

"Every person that leaves the church has a story-it's often complicated and interwoven with a myriad of life experiences. You will recognize many of Dyck's portraits. They are people in your life-your neighbors, family, and friends. This book will help you find ways to journey with them and guide them back to the one, true story that matters most."

-Sam Rainer, president of Rainer Research and author of Essential Church?: Reclaiming a Generation of Dropouts

About the Author

DREW DYCK is the managing editor of Leadership Journal at Christianity Today International. Drew holds an M.A. in Theology from Fuller Theological Seminary. Before coming to Christianity Today he was the editor of New Man magazine. He and his wife, Grace, live in Carol Stream, Illinois and attend Jericho Road Church.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 208 pages
  • Publisher: Moody Publishers; New Edition edition (September 27, 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0802443559
  • ISBN-13: 978-0802443557
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.5 x 8.3 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (39 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #409,912 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Drew Dyck is the author of Generation Ex-Christian: Why young adults are leaving the faith...and how to bring them back (Moody, 2010). Drew is the managing editor of Leadership Journal, a publication of Christianity Today International. Before coming to Christianity Today Drew was the editor of New Man magazine. He has written more than 100 articles for Christian and secular publications, and is a regular contributor to Faith Today, Boundless.org, and ConversantLife.com.

Drew grew up in Red Deer, Alberta in a pastor's family and has three older brothers. After moving to the U.S. 10 years ago, Drew has lived in Portland, Pasadena, Orlando, and now, Chicago. He graduated from Portland State University with a B.A. in English before attending Fuller Theological Seminary, where he earned an M.A. in Theology. Drew has also served as a Bible study leader, small group leader, and youth pastor. He and his wife, Grace, attend Jericho Road Church.

Customer Reviews

I found this book very helpful. Lynda Alsford  |  14 reviewers made a similar statement
Not only is it an informative and good read, it is a book that I will go back to for reference. Wilson A. Shirley  |  7 reviewers made a similar statement
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
28 of 31 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Has the right approach September 7, 2011
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
Because I am an Evidentialist, atheist, and Secular Humanist, I only thoroughly read the chapters of Dyck's book that applied to me (Introduction, Modern Leavers, and Come Home!). This seemed appropriate because obviously I'm not Wicca, a Post-Modern thinker, or a Rebel who would deny God's existence even when given clear evidence for it. Since those positions don't apply to me, arguments against them also don't apply to me.

From what I read: Dyck, refreshingly, has the right approach. He pushes for open dialogue between Christians and non-Christians. Not preaching, but discussion. Each side presents their positions. They attempt to find common ground. And they work together to try to determine the truth.

Because of his focus on open dialogue and listening, Dyck understands Evidentialists in a way that most Christians I have encountered do not. I was particularly impressed when he pointed out that quoting Bible verses to an atheist ex-Christian is meaningless to them. They no longer believe the Bible was divinely inspired. Dyck understands very clearly that many Christians are making a mistake when they assume atheists still share their worldview of heaven, hell, and a divinely inspired Bible. They don't. And because of this, the correct approach is to address their actual worldview and probe it for weaknesses.

As an Evidentialist (and atheist), I can tell you: that is exactly what I want you to do. It is the only method by which you would ever reach someone like me. If I am wrong, the only way you will ever convince me I am wrong is by actively engaging MY beliefs. Not just repeating yours. Active dialogue is the only type of interaction that wouldn't be a considerable waste of both our time. Discussion. Finding common ground and working up from there.

In the spirit of continuing that dialogue, let me respond to some of Dyck's statements about atheists in the Modern Leavers chapter:

"If anything, most of them feel Christian faith is *too* concerned for the marginalized, a dangerous naiveté in a Darwinian, survival-of-the-fittest world."

Not remotely true from my experience talking to hundreds of atheists, since I am somewhat of a celebrity in the atheist movement myself. Just because we believe natural selection EXISTS, that doesn't mean that we think it is a good way to run a society. That is as irrational as saying, just because I believe natural disasters EXIST, I think they should happen, killing as many people as possible.

I have never met an atheist who was a Social Darwinist. Yes, we do think natural selection happens. But most of us also think the weak should be protected, using the very intelligence that we were naturally selected to have. Medical technology is the antithesis of natural selection. It tries to stop natural selection by enabling us to survive using the bodies we already have. And every atheist I have asked supports the use of medical technology.

Acknowledging the *existence* of a natural force is not tantamount to condoning it or idly standing by as it destroys people's lives.

"The movement's de facto leader [is] Richard Dawkins"

Richard Dawkins is a respected and prominent atheist. He is worthy of the respect he receives for reaching out to people who are questioning their religion. But he is not our leader. We have no leader.

The atheist community is a democracy. Different people lead different segments of the community at different times. "How can that work?", you may ask. The same way that American democracy works: sometimes inefficiently but always with an underlying spirit of freedom, dialogue, and egalitarianism.

"Inwardly I cringed at the false-alternatives scenario that Dan had set up in his mind. For him, one geological question (which the Bible doesn't even address explicitly) was the deciding factor for faith."

But not all of us make this False Dichotomy. I, for one, believed in an old Earth as a Christian. I fully understood that the 6,000 year question did not decide the fate of Christianity, let alone God.

"(Remember, atheists are almost always modernists, since they absolutely negate God's existence.)"

This is very rarely true.

First, almost all atheists are Agnostic Atheists. Agnostic atheists are *atheistic* because they do not hold a POSITIVE belief in the existence of any deity, and *agnostic* because they do not claim to know with CERTAINTY whether any deity exists.

Second, I would say that most atheists are also *weak* agnostic atheists. Most atheists will tell you "I'm not saying there ISN'T a God. But until someone shows me credible evidence for one, I'm not going to believe in it. Anymore than I would believe in ghosts, UFOs, or reincarnation without good evidence."

"supernatural claims are rejected a priori. Your worldview simply doesn't have room for such claims."

Not true. I personally identify as an Evidentialist. That means that I welcome ANY evidence for ANY claim, including supernatural claims. I have no unswerving allegiance to naturalism or atheism. The MOMENT credible evidence for a God appeared, I would rapidly become its enthusiastic supporter. But I still wait for this evidence.

"Should I recount the dozens of miracle stories I'd heard from missionaries abroad? I could even share personal answers to prayer or things that I'd witnessed that could only be described as supernatural."

As you correctly predict in the paragraph following these statements, these claims are not persuasive to me. I'm a former Christian myself. And not just any Christian. I was an extremely committed Christian. I had experiences myself that I once considered supernatural.

But after learning about Cognitive Psychology, I found strong evidence that these experiences were not supernatural at all. Rather, they appeared to be natural occurrences that I had misperceived as supernatural through cognitive errors like Confirmation Bias. Unless you can demonstrate to me that your experiences were somehow different, I have no reason to believe you aren't committing the same cognitive errors.

"Jesus endorsing slavery? That was a new one to me. Among leavers, bizarre misperceptions of Christianity abound."

I agree that sometimes atheists get Christianity wrong. But not in this case.

Jesus did tacitly condone slavery. In Luke 12:47, Jesus says: "The servant who knows the master's will and does not get ready or does not do what the master wants will be beaten with many blows." Jesus does not criticize the master for owning and beating his slave: he criticizes the slave for disobeying his master.

Paul condones slavery even more explicitly in Ephesians 6:5: "Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ."

As far as I know, slavery is never explicitly denounced in the Bible. In the Old Testament, it is openly permitted and regulated (Exodus 21:2-6, Leviticus 25:44-46). In the New Testament, it is openly condoned and accepted.

"When someone rejects Christianity, it's valid to ask them to consider if the alternative is more satisfying. When it comes to the modernist worldview, the answer has to be "no." "

This is an Appeal to Consequences Fallacy. Just because something is *satisfying*, that doesn't mean it is true. Sure, I would love for there to be a heaven AND a benevolent God watching over me. But, given the lack of evidence for them, I don't believe those things actually exist.

And believing they do anyway does me no good in a world where they don't exist. It can cause me to waste the one life I have pursuing something that I have no evidence for, when I could have instead devoted my life to things that I DO have evidence for, like the help I can provide to people around me.

"In other words, you're just being good so bad things don't happen to you."

This is like saying "In other words, you're just being good so that you can go to heaven." There are always underlying advantages to being good, whether you are a Christian or an atheist. They can never be removed from the equation because being good is inherently rewarding. It's one thing that makes being good a great part of life: there are rewards for you AND the people you help.

"But is there no deeper reason to be good?"

As an Evidentialist, given the evidence I have seen so far, I think the only reason we evolved a drive to be good is because it is advantageous for our species. And that is good enough for me. Helping fellow human beings live fulfilling lives both now and in the future is, to me, a pristine and impeccable reason to be good.

"What's new is the attitude. They're confrontational, angry, and militant."

One thing that I want Dyck to understand is that, just as he is a completely different type of Christian than angry, yelling Bible quoters, so too are people like myself a completely different type of atheist than angry, yelling religion mockers.

There are those of us who want to come to the table of mutually respectful dialogue. We completely disagree with you about the truth of reality. But we respect you as brothers and sisters IN that reality. The blood that runs through your veins runs through ours. We are all human.

I publish on the YouTube channel called Evid3nc3. There, you can see my story in the playlist "Why I am no longer a Christian". If you truly want to understand me and many other former Christians, if you truly want to reach out to us, know our story, and, with the right evidence, bring us back, this is a good place to start.
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16 of 20 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Why are they leaving? October 3, 2010
Format:Paperback
Some say it's an epidemic. Young people, raised in church, professing Christians are leaving the faith as young adults. I spent six years in full-time youth ministry. I can look back on the young people I encountered and see the reality of the problem. They are not statistics, they are real people. These are kids I taught, counseled, and guided. These are kids that were active in church and enthusiastic about their faith. Now, they are gone. In some cases, long gone.

This is not news. People have been sounding the alarm for years now. Youth ministers have been arguing as to what method or model will cement these kids in before they leave. Others wonder how to get them back. Some say, wait, they'll be back...but they won't.

There are many questions to be asked: Why are they leaving? How can we get them back? How do I share my faith with someone that already knows the answers? In his upcoming book, Generation Ex Christian, Drew Dyck explores these very questions. He has interviewed many of those who have left and shares practical answers for reaching them again.

Dyck outlines seven types of leavers. This is important, because not all leavers are the same. No one method will reach everyone. For example: apologetics will not impress someone who has adopted a postmodern worldview. Expecting the "Rebel" to come back makes assumptions with drastic consequences. There are nuances to each case and Dyck does a great job exploring those differences.

The careful reader will apply the knowledge Dyck shares to the situations they see all around them. They will begin to see the heart of the leaver and reasons they left. Then, the gospel can be shared at that point.

The reasons for leaving discussed in the chapters on the "Drifter" shed light on a different question: how can we keep them from leaving? Those who drift into Christianity as teenagers are likely to drift out. Are churches encouraging this drift by failing to provide any substance in youth ministries? I was ready to cheer when I read, "They don't want pizza and video games. They want revolution and dynamism. They want unvarnished truth." Churches must realize that a solid understanding of the gospel is absolutely crucial.

I recommend this book to anyone dealing with young people in church. The epidemic is real and this book has a lot of knowledge that can help solve the problem.
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7 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Every pastor's library needs this book... January 3, 2011
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
For decades young people have been quietly walking out the back doors of our churches never again to return. All the while, we continue to spice up our Sunday services with video clips and "hip" music all with the hope that they'll return to us once they see that the church can be cool and relevant.

What we've failed to understand is that those young people and their peers aren't looking for cool, they're looking for depth and genuine relationships. In this new book, Drew Dyck studies this mass exodus and talks to the ones that have left. His discoveries are for the benefit of the church. Drew looks intentionally and realistically at the multitude of reasons and circumstances that caused the exodus and suggests ways that just may stem the tide. In six sections, Drew takes a wide angled approach in assessing the various kinds of "church leavers:"

- Post Modern Leavers

- Recoilers

- Modern Leavers

- Neo-Pagans

- Rebels

- Drifters

Throughout each section, we're introduced to each type of individual and then we're given solid recommendations for how to reach out and reconnect (or in some instances connect for the first time) with them.

While this book is not an exhaustive work on this issue, it is certainly an excellent primer for the ever-important work of reaching out to the lost and bringing them home. Drew has a passion to see these people reclaim their faith and his passion is infectious...you can't help but be inspired to do more and work more intentionally after reading this book.Generation Ex-Christian: Why Young Adults Are Leaving the Faith. . .and How to Bring Them Back
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Great Book
I am ex-christian and I feel this book was very interesting. I am touched at the lengths this author has taken to research why people have left Christianity.
Published 2 months ago by Nemesis
5.0 out of 5 stars Enlightening
Great book! You need to understand the perspective of those we hope to reach for Christ...this book helps in doing so!!
Published 3 months ago by James Ezell
5.0 out of 5 stars Generation Ex-Christian: Why Young Adults Are Leaving the Faith
Generation Ex-Christian author Drew Dyck interviewed young "leavers" for this book & grouped their reasons into several categories. Read more
Published 5 months ago by Christina VanderWoude
5.0 out of 5 stars Terrific bok
Always enjoy a good read...this book was recommended by a family member of mine..and she was right..it is an interesting read!
Published 5 months ago by Skoggie
2.0 out of 5 stars Explains some of our issues, but without real solutions
I wanted to read this book in hopes that the author might have some answers for me. Like many of the people the author chose as case studies, I left the church. Read more
Published 7 months ago by H. Case
5.0 out of 5 stars Generation Ex-Christian: Why Young Adults Are Leaving the Faith. . ....
This is a must read for anyone who has watched a loved one leave the faith. The author brings to light the different reasons and how to address them. Read more
Published 17 months ago by Ramona
5.0 out of 5 stars Required Reading!
This little book is written for easy reading. But its message isn't so easy. Each of us tends toward a single way of thinking about the faith while there are half a dozen... Read more
Published 18 months ago by Ted Noel
5.0 out of 5 stars A must-read for anyone who's ever had a loved one leave the faith.
I rarely read a non-fiction book from cover to cover, but I did with this book. It is chock full of information and insight about why kids are leaving the church. Read more
Published 18 months ago by Barb R.
5.0 out of 5 stars Very helpful book
I found this book very helpful. Firstly I have recently returned to faith after a year of not believing in the existence of God (particularly hard if you are working as the church... Read more
Published 21 months ago by Lynda Alsford
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent resource for Educators
This content has given me expansive viewpoints on reaching youth and college students. While the subtitle is painful regarding the "leaving," it is absolute truth. Read more
Published 21 months ago by UGA FAN
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