The Gentle Art of Communicating with Kids [Paperback]

Suzette Haden Elgin (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: February 1, 1996

Do you ever feel as if you and your child speak different languages?

Does your teenager fly into a rage when you ask a simple question?

Does your toddler wage the Battle of Bedtime each night?

Here's help from bestselling communications expert Suzette Haden Elgin. As the mother of five and grandmother of nine, Dr. Elgin has spent a lifetime talking with kids both personally and professionally. In this refreshingly direct and down-to-earth book, she shows you how to talk to your child about anything and everything--positively, productively, and above all, peacefully. Her personal approach employs realistic parent/child scenarios and dialogues to illustrate how it is possible to have communication without confrontation.

Her techniques will help you:
* Be a better listener
* Speak firmly, yet compassionately
* Spot early warning signs such as anger, sulking, and moodiness
* Handle a wide variety of problems, from bedtime and bathtime encounters to more serious issues such as self-esteem, teen pregnancy, and drug abuse
* Give special attention to the needs of a technically savvy "cyberchild"

Editorial Reviews

From the Back Cover

Do you ever feel as if you and your child speak different languages?

Does your teenager fly into a rage when you ask a simple question?

Does your toddler wage the Battle of Bedtime each night?

Here's help from bestselling communications expert Suzette Haden Elgin. As the mother of five and grandmother of nine, Dr. Elgin has spent a lifetime talking with kids both personally and professionally. In this refreshingly direct and down-to-earth book, she shows you how to talk to your child about anything and everything—positively, productively, and above all, peacefully. Her personal approach employs realistic parent/child scenarios and dialogues to illustrate how it is possible to have communication without confrontation.

Her techniques will help you:

• Be a better listener
• Speak firmly, yet compassionately
• Spot early warning signs such as anger, sulking, and moodiness
• Handle a wide variety of problems, from bedtime and bathtime encounters to more serious issues such as self-esteem, teen pregnancy, and drug abuse
• Give special attention to the needs of a technically savvy "cyberchild"

About the Author

SUZETTE HADEN ELGIN, Ph.D., is the founder of the Ozark Center for Language Studies. Her bestselling Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense books include Genderspeak and You Can't Say That to Me!, both from Wiley. She and her family live near Huntsville, Arkansas.

Product Details

• Paperback: 208 pages
• Publisher: Wiley; 1 edition (February 1, 1996)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0471039969
• ISBN-13: 978-0471039969
• Product Dimensions: 9.2 x 5.9 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #723,336 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars I've given over sixty copies of this book away, October 25, 2007

By 

S. Marsh (Dreamlands) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Gentle Art of Communicating with Kids (Paperback)

I admit. The publisher eventually gave me the institutional bulk discount, I bought so many copies.

If you want to talk to a child, if you are a child who wants to talk to an adult, if you want gentle conversation rather than anger, if you want to understand, this book deals with the tools and skills you need.

Elgin may have sold well over a million books, but this is one of her best, and it is clear, direct, and easily applied.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The essential guide to its title area, June 28, 2011

By 

JonShops (Oklahoma) - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: The Gentle Art of Communicating with Kids (Paperback)

If you aren't familiar with the Verbal Defense system then this book will change your life significantly and forever. Elgin puts together a few of the top ideas in practicing good communication. Some of these ideas are hers, others she credits to different experts, but all of them really are quick, able to be practiced and mastered, and very, very effective toward handling bad situations and relieving lots and lots of stress in relationships of all kinds.

The method is about a few key 'moves', very much like the martial arts, which are immediately useful, but can become very effective with practice. What is more, practice develops for an individual a kind of communication calmness and confidence that becomes a very proactive part of everyday life.

I used these methods as director of a youth program, and while there were plenty of challenges and miscommunications, I almost never had an outright breakdown in communications with youth...I can only think of twice in five years. Of course, having had excellent parents myself also played a large part in this...yet Elgin's method has become part of my nature--almost part of my personality--since I first studied it in college two decades ago.

This text continues the author's Verbal Defense system into the world of communicating with children from the age of wanting to run wild in a restaurant on through early reproductive years.

You won't find anything especially new if you are already familiar with the Verbal Defense system, but the examples here are some of the best in the series.

If you have children and your conversations don't just naturally sound like the script from the TV program "Parenthood" then by all means read this book.

If you do customer service in any capacity, try Elgin's "The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense".

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars If you have children, read this!, May 21, 2009

By 

F. Morris Rosman "Ella Expert" (Southern California) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Gentle Art of Communicating with Kids (Paperback)

Really. Truly. This is the BEST advice on raising and living with kids. It got me through some tough times, and I even use Ms. Elgin's wisdom when working with teens. Suzette Hayden Elgin is brillant!