46 of 49 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
A powerful and useful book, July 22, 2000
This review is from: The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense at Work (Paperback)
I was on a curriculum development program on the real world for graduate students and we ended up specifying this book as one of the essential parts of the program. I've since specified other Elgin books as textbooks for graduate students and have never been disappointed.
This book does have a second edition which was reviewed positively by _The Alternative_, a dispute resolution publication out of Seton Hall Law School. Extremely accessible (meaning that *real* people can read this book and use it), with insights and information that many professionals do not have.
While her best selling book is now a little dated, and is written for a very basic audience (and is a classic in psych circles), this book is written to a more educated audience, without losing its message in jargon or technical language.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
Was this review helpful to you? Yes
No
45 of 48 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
Not for beginners, February 10, 2008
This review is from: The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense at Work (Paperback)
This is one of half a dozen books I purchased in an attempt to deal with and understand bullying and office politics in the workplace. While the concepts and the knowledge presented are solid, the skills it takes to implement the tactics suggested are not skills the beginning bully buster or office politician has. I think someone who is already accomplished and aware of psychological principles, social skills and emotional intelligence could implement some of the suggestions, but this isn't a book you can pick up, read on break and walk away with anything that's going to change your life.
I'd consider this a text book more than a self-help book on verbal skills. The principles are real, are true and in the hands of those with the skill, intelligence and ability probably will make a world of difference in how they communicate. I think those that have that level of gamesmanship and ability already play the game well and this will help them polish their skills. Those new to office politics and semantics will give up and go on to something else or be intimidated by the layers and levels of gamesmanship that exist in the corporate world.
When I say "self-help" versus text book, I mean that "self-help" books can point out simple facts that a person can read and put into practice immediately and see some improvement. A textbook approach is something complex enough to require an outside observer who can comment and direct the learning attempt.
For instance, I have basic mechanical skills - like using a wrench, screwdriver, hammer and so on. I can read and understand basic instructions so I could read a "self-help" level book and figure out how to change my car's oil or flush the radiator in a few hours.
However, given my basic mechanical skills I wouldn't tackle rebuilding my transmission in a weekend with only a book, even a good book. Same here. A mechanic (someone already versed in the basics and intermediate to advanced skills needed) could read a book on rebuilding transmissions and do it without much fear or expert feedback, but a novice could not.
To get the most out of this book you need intermediate to advanced skills in several areas. Without a skill set in communications, learning methods or an extensive base of human interaction, communication, language skills, psychology experience/expertise etc. you'll have a hard time reading and using this book in a way that would seriously beef up your verbal defense skills. I would NOT recommend this book for someone looking for either a quick read, easy answers or a handful of self-help tips they can implement in an hour or a weekend. This book requires an understanding of language, how we learn, psychology and a dedication to work at changing one's approach to communication over time. I'd rate it a 3 simply because I expected a good simple self-help book and got a good text book instead. As far as rating it according to the knowledge it contains - probably a 5 in terms of insight and political smarts. The information and knowledge is there, but you have to have built up your verbal and people smarts to grasp it. If you can't do algebra why read a book on calculus and advanced trig?
Even with my background in communication and language, it's hard to read some portions of it and understand how to implement the tactics. The examples and the thought processes behind the observations the author makes are complex. I have the language and communication skills that should make this an easy read but it's been work to get through it. So while it makes some excellent observations about games, personal and office politics etc. be warned - it's not a fast, nor an easy read and the skills will take weeks if not months to implement in a way that significantly impacts the work situation. This is a book for someone seriously dedicated to being the best office politician and communicator they can be.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
Was this review helpful to you? Yes
No
45 of 49 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense by Suzette Elgin, October 23, 2003
This review is from: The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense at Work (Paperback)
This work provides a good development for constructive
argument aimed at management of confrontal modes. The author
describes classic behaviors; such as, the placater, the blamer,
the distracter and the leveler. There is a good section on
voice management which describes unifying metaphors and balanced
speech. The work describes practically every confrontation
imaginable with appropriate voice responses and body language.
This book will help you manage almost any type of confrontation
constructively. For this reason, it is well worth the price.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
Was this review helpful to you? Yes
No
