Customer Reviews

Gentle Closings: How To Say Goodbye To Someone You Love

5 star:		(3)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

When I was putting together my book, DYING: A BOOK OF COMFORT, this was one of the books from which I used several selections. I often recommend it when people ask for advice about how to commemorate a death or how to say goodbye to someone who is dying. I particularly liked Menten's story of the couple who planted a garden during the husband's illness, a garden the wife could sit in after his death -- and remember the gathering where his friends all said goodbye to him. Sometimes people joke about giving a funeral while they're still alive, so they can appreciate it. Menten suggests ways to do something similar. A lovely, gentle, practical book.

This book was one of the best that I have read on the topic of grief. It is real and truly illustrates the emotions that we all go through after the death of a loved one. The true life stories and illustrations give you a sense of peace as well as the feeling that you are not alone in your grief.

Whenever I need to learn how to say goodbye, I read this little book again.

One of the hardest things you will ever have to do is say "goodbye" to the one you love. Nothing is forever. But things end and we have to go on. If you don't or refuse to say goodbe, that person will remain trapped inside you for the rest of your days. Some people think it is easier to just walk away, to get out of that person's life and try to forget they ever existed. Let me tell you, that does not work -- ever.

When a loved one dies, there is no alternative but to shed tears of regret for all you should have said. Tristan died in a car acccident and Zach is suffering because he could not remember the last time he told his son "I love you." We get so busy as parents that time slips by and we don't consider the mortality of life and how quickly it can be extinguished. The best thing for the griever is to remember the good times you had with your loved one and how much you both profited by loving each other. Love is never a one-way street; it takes two to tango. But sometimes, love sours and can't be made right again. A gentle goodbye is better by far than a harsh, bitter one.

The main regret women have as they get older is not saying goodbye to the first love of their lives, romantically. I don't even have a picture of mine as I felt that he would always be a part of my life. No one ever is. He had the cheek bones of the Cherokees whose reservation is just up on the mountain from here. He had the last name of the Chief of the Cherokees. But he simply vanished, went away and never came back. That is the bad part of love. To lose and keep searching for the elusive dream. Take time to hug the person you love; if you don't feel comfortable saying the three most important words in the English language, just show it with a loving smile.

On the bus, a baby could not talk to me except with his eyes, and he was chuck full of love. His mother was amazed that he would communicate with me as he did. After all, I was a stranger. It is usually a stranger we fall in love with; only if you get married, do you start looking and acting alike. Lately, I've been observing the older man/younger wife couples and how different they are from the same-age young couples when they first get married.

It is easy for love to turn to hate. I've been told that to hate a person, you must love them first. I find that not necessarily true, but saying goodbye is a requisite to your own mental health. It is hard, but life must go on -- and there is always someone else to love; it just make take awhile to find the right one. Are there areas in your life where you allow others to have far more influence than they should? Do you trust others' opinions more than your own intuition? Now's the time to change all that. Listen to your heart.