Customer Reviews

Gentle Willow: A Story for Children About Dying

5 star:		(9)
4 star:		(5)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

A lot of childrens' books about death are either specific to one religion, or not spiritual at all. This book is a nice bridge between the two extremes. It alludes to the metamorphosis of caterpillar into butterfly, and it describes death as change of form rather than an ending. It also talks about how the living can comfort the dying and how the we cherish memories of them after death. All of this is brought up very tenderly, in the context of a squirrel whose friend, a tree, is dying. The book even touches on the emotions of anger and fear, without dwelling too much on negatives.

When I first read "Gentle Willow: A Story for Children About Dying," I thought it was about preparing a child for the death of a terminally ill loved one. After all, the story tells about Amanda, a squirrel, and her friends Little Tree and Gentle Willow. One day Amanda notices that Gentle Willow looks and feels differently. Amanda becomes concerned about her friend and calls in Fixumup and Imageen the tree wizards, who check Gentle Willow and have to admit that while they can make her feel more comfortable and help her feel stronger, they cannot make her all better. The tree wizards comfort Amanda about the impending loss of her friend by explaining about the special gifts called memories.

When I finished reading this book I turned to the introduction and learned "Gentle Willow" was written for children who may not survive their illness as well as for the children who know them. I have to admit, I thought this sensitive book would also help children prepare for the death of a grandparent, or someone of any age. The basic metaphor of the caterpillars turning into butterflies applies any loved one. Dr. Mills developed this book out of an earlier effort, "Little Tree: A Story for Children with Serious Medical Problems," which reflects her specialty in storytelling as a healing process of children and adults. Obviously, this book will touch adults as well as the children for whom it was intended. The watercolor illustrations by Michael Chesworth captures the shifting tones of this tale, especially through the subtle changes on the face of Amanda, as sadness is replaced by hope through the healing power of love.

I wish your children will never have a need for such a book, but if the situation arises, I hope that you find this book.

I read this book to my 9 year old daughter when we found out her cancer was terminal. It helped her and her friends deal better with her impending death. I highly recommend this book to people who are dealing with children and death.

I originally bought this book to read to my children, on the plane ride home to Michigan, to help them deal with the soon to be death of my father. I had read them a few books about dying and those books were about teaching them it was ok to have all their feelings. That was what I was expecting when I read this on the plane. I was hoping I was giving them some more help in dealing with their feelings, while I (although I hadn't known it at the time) wasn't even thinking about my own. What I ended up getting, though, was a story that was so beautiful and breathtakingly comforting that I was helped, along with my children.

When my father died and we were waiting for the coroner, I told my mother about the book I had just read the children called Gentle Willow. I was hoping that it's metaphorical story would bring her some of the same comfort it brought me. My mom made me get it right then and she read it while we waited. My mom could not believe how the story was just like my dad's situation. When he was in his coma he was like the catapillar who was in a dark place, but with his death he would be well again and in heaven and he would now have the gift of becoming the butterfly. This thought and story brought my mom so much peace she ordered copies to give all her friends. She has since commissioned a glass artist to do a mosaic of the Gentle Willow and the yellow butterfly to be done and hung in her church. There was actually an article in the newspaper about the Mosaic and how the book, Gentle Willow, helped her during the death of my father.

As far as how it helped my children, they are 18 and 19 now and they still read Gentle Willow when someone has died. The author has given an incredible gift of hope, comfort and peace to both adults and children who know someone that is sick and is going to die. You will probably still want to get another book about death and how to deal with their feelings as a companion book. Also, if the person you know died in an accident, you might want a book that deals specifically in that type of death. But, this book should not have gotten a 1 rating because it didn't help deal with the accidental death of someone. It is a book meant to help children who know someone who is dying or has died from an illness.

I hope Gentle Willow comforts and helps your family the same way it did mine during a really difficult situation for everyone.

I love this book. I bought this book for my 3 yr old to help explain death to him after my husband passed away. It was perfect because it explained about being sick and not being able to be fixed sometimes. This was similar to what we were going through with my husband who had cancer. Our son always knew his father has being sick and going to the doctor...so this helped to explain.

My father has been diagnosed with terminal cancer, and I got this book for my 9 year old daughter. It is her favorite, and I love it too. It is very gentle and calm and sweet. A story about dying and how life goes on. I love it!

In the last months of my husband's battle against cancer, I struggled to find ways to talk about death and dying with our young preschool-aged children. I checked out numerous books from the library--about cancer, about death and dying, about coping--but they all lacked the depth of compassion that this sweet story supplies. As a parent, I appreciated the gentleness yet seriousness with which this difficult topic is discussed as well as the fact that the non-human characters and the strong reliance on metaphor allowed the story to be transferable to a variety of situations (my children were unable to relate to stories about the death of grandparents or pets, as devastating as those situations can be in their own right). This was the only story that I found that my children wanted to read again and again, and that touched them on an emotional level--but more than that, it opened up a way for all of us to discuss the issue further, on our own terms, in our own time, with respect to our own situation. It is nine months later, and my children still love to read this book. Even when we haven't read it for a while, they often refer to it when their questions about why their daddy had to die bubble to the surface. They use the metaphor as a way to ask/frame their questions. And I can use it (or extend it as needed) in the same way. It is a common and easy reference point for ongoing discussion about a topic that sometimes is too emotionally difficult to approach head-on.

This was a very sweet story. It would be best used on a child who is able to draw analogies. I am a school counselor who often deals with children in the public school setting who are not able to relate such stories to their lives. However, it is a very good book.

Creative Interventions for Bereaved Children

I really love using this book in my therapy work with children, but I think it's one that parents can use with their children at home as well. Most of the children I work with are having difficulty expressing feeling such as anger, for fear that they will upset a family member or not be able to control their feelings. The gentle way in which this book introduces negative feelings allows for the start of conversations about the many feelings that accompany death but also focuses on cherishing memories and supporting those who are dying.

My daughter enjoyed the story greatly. i wouldn't say it completely gave her an understanding of death but she knows that when you die you don't come back from where ever you went. this help a lot considering my mother just passed 3 months ago and my daughter is still talking about it.