Customer Reviews

As A Gentleman Would Say

5 star:		(10)
4 star:		(4)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(4)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

If you often say the wrong thing or struggle with awkward moments (I do), this may be a good choice for you. You will find no discussion of table manners, proper attire, or other mannerly concerns. This book is all about conversation. A reasonable person will know most of the material here, but I am very confident that you will find 5 to 10 suggestions that you can use to navigate awkward situations. That makes it worth the price.

I liked this book, just as I like all the other books in this series. Sure the material may be common sense if you are already a gentleman, but how many of us can say that about ourselves? And in that case, don't buy the book for yourself.

The simplicity and directness of the advice is refreshing. I did not find any bad advice in this book. Sometimes I had to pause to consider the wisdom of a particular suggestion, but I always found the authors' advice to ring true.

Thanks for a great book.

Having enjoyed other books by John Bridges, I was eager to read "As a Gentleman Would Say. " I found the information practical and fun, and would recommend this book to anyone who thinks he or she might be in an awkward situation in the near future and unsure of how to respond. The most helpful--and fun--part of the book is reading what NOT to say.

I was disheartened, however, to find way too many grammatical/typographical errors. In the first fourteen pages alone, I found three glaring mistakes... things such as missing words, using "your" instead of "you're" and missing apostrophes. This marred my enjoyment of the book. Apparently, a gentleman no longer needs good editors or proofreaders.

The premise of this book is simple but important. The authors present a series of touchy situations that can challenge a gentleman's tact, they show a few examples of what not to say in these situations, then offer a more thoughtful and responsible alternative. Each of these is followed by an explanation of why the suggested comment is most appropriate for the situation. Some of the situations concern a helping a friend in trouble, while others are about not making a fool of yourself or getting into trouble.

You won't remember every suggested comment is this verbatim, but I don't think that was the authors' point. The book's primary value is in getting the budding gentleman to think before he speaks (or to know when not to speak). If you often find yourself wanting to take back your words, this book could help you a lot.

As I said above, this book is limited in focus to making the right comment in those situations that often get the better of us. For a good treatment on the dynamics of everyday conversation skills, take a look at Alan Garner's *Conversationally Speaking.*

This is truly a great book that has fitting responses for life's most embarrassing moments and at times when you are simply lost for the proper words to say . It also suggests what not to say, providing an excellent guide for those who have a natural ability to put "their foot in their mouth" at the most inappropriate time! Most of us go through that uncomfortable experience at least once or twice during our lifetime. A client of mine had put on several pounds over a very short time, and her friends started asking when her baby was due. Yes, we should be mindful of what we say, but we all know individuals who simply do not think before they speak and seem to go through life making outrageously rude and personal comments. Often, they do not seem to realize what they are saying is completely out of place. If that sounds like someone you know, do them a favour, buy them this book and hope they read it from cover to cover - it makes a perfect all-occasion gift.

There are other times, perhaps when visiting a terminally ill friend that we become lost for words, or under stress, say things without thinking of the end result. For anyone looking for appropriate responses to various situations or ways to polish their own etiquette skills, this book is an excellent resource guide. The only negative aspect of the book is that it is quite short, and there were several situations that came to mind that were not covered here. It is a book worth having in any resource library, and for those individuals lacking proper etiquette skills, it should be considered a necessity.

This isn't a very big book, but it is sure worth the price and time to read and to put some of the things discussed,into practice.
Saying the right thing ,particularly at a difficult time or about a subject that is a bit delicate,is much more important than we often realize.
The authors deal with a lot of conversations and give responses that often come to mind,but should be avoided. Then they give a response that would be much more appropriate for all involved, Then they give a short explanation of why a more gentlemanly or mannerly response is much better.
Of course,they cannot give a proper response for every situation;but after reading the book you will see that the basic principle is there to see. It is somewhat like the Golden Rule of "Do unto others as you would have others to do onto you".
In most cases,the reply you give should be the same as you would like to have received,if you were being replied to. People will make hurtful comments to you ,but don't fall for replying in a like manner. Stay above that and give a polite reply and move on.
Conversation,like most relationships,should be guided by the old adage; You'll catch more flies with honey than vinigar.
While there really isn't anything in the book that your Mom Or Dad couldn't have told you; it is still worth reading to remind us of how we should reply in a variety of situations.

John Bridges' 'As a Gentleman Would Say' (2001) follows the other titles in this series by the same author.

While there is a definite need for such books of etiquette today, Bridges continues to do himself a disservice by making the standard of behavior established so lofty that the end result seems both elitist and patronizing, and worse than either, undesirable.

If a person were to follow Bridges' advice scrupulously, he would never have an adult conversation again, never make a controversial statement, never participate in an intellectual debate, never openly disagree with anyone else, and rarely if ever speak the truth about what he feels and believes.

So the potential 'gentleman' has to ask himself whether he would prefer to live in a world full of barbs, slings, and arrows as well as genuine expressions of delight, love, kindness, tenderness, and honest exchanges of ideas, or prefer to live in a 'nice' world where all words are kind, but wholly insincere.

Those who would prefer the latter probably belong to the effete classes, where the pursuit of personal gain and one's ambitions are perpetually hidden behind a veil of 'cocktail kisses,' glad-handing, false modesty, and flattery.

Oddly enough, the one subject on which Bridges feels it is acceptable to make a declarative statement is halitosis; here, one politely pushes breath mints in the direction of the offender, but, should the offender decline, Bridges believes it is okay for the potential gentleman to say, "Hank, you really need one."

But, short of the subject of halitosis, the gentleman is not advised to make any kind of declarative statement at any time (except of the most cushy kind, like "It's nice to see you again"), but always to say as little as possible, especially concerning dreaded 'difficult' subjects such as death, illness, divorce, loss of employment, weight gain, unattractive children, and homosexuality.

'As a Gentleman Would Say' may be illuminating for those attempting to grasp and employ the rules of civil behavior, but intelligent, emotionally mature adults with a sense of objectivity about themselves will most likely find the book rather arid and silly, if not hilariously overcautious.

Although some of the material might be considered common sense, the reiteration of polite concepts helps to solidify my actions. Along the way in life, I have become (ah hem) rough around the edges. I have used this book to help bring me back to my polite fundamentals. On several occasions I had to reference the book when a friends mother died, and other delicate situations. They worked perfect. I wish this book was required reading for all teenagers.

This book lays out advice and different scenarios, discussing what a gentleman would NOT say before giving the correct answer. Then it discusses why the correct answer is what it is, and there is almost always a very sound reason for how a proper gentleman would respond to a situation.

A very enjoyable book!

This book is a an absolute guide to anyone who is wishing to live life as a gentleman. There are many situations in life where you wonder how a true gentleman would react, this book tackles every one of them. I definitely recommend this book to anyone who wants to truly be a gentleman.