Customer Reviews

Germany: A Guide to Customs and Etiquette (Culture Shock! A Survival Guide to Customs & Etiquette)

5 star:		(6)
4 star:		(7)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

I am a German who was given the book by an American and read it out of curiosity. It is a helpful book, and I even agree with most of its not-so-flattering observations and statements about my country. However, it should be taken with a grain of salt: It was clearly written by someone who worked in the business world of Frankfurt, Germany's center of banking and corporate finance, and had rather stiff, conservative suburban upper middle class, suit-wearing business people as his German acquaintances and friends. What he describes as cultural "compartmentalization" between public and private lives applies to conservative business culture (certainly to banks), not so much, for example, to academics, artists, freelancers etc.

What's more, Lord's observations apply chiefly to the wealthy, more conservative Southwestern part of Germany between Frankfurt, Stuttgart and Munich, less so to East Germany or Northern Germany. For example, his advice that "upon entering a small shop, one should always intone a robust Guten Morgen, Guten Tag or Guten Abend" should be followed only in small towns and villages, and South Western Germany with its more provincial culture, but surely would raise eyebrows or amusement in Hamburg or Berlin. Same is true for his advice to greet all neighbors or co-workers in a house "in the following manner: 'Guten Tag, Frau Schmidt; Guten Abend, Frau Müller". I had to laugh out cordially when I read that, but, well, it's true to the extent that this is the politeness code if you work in a bank or live in a Western German neighborhood of chiefly conservative senior citizens.

Another detail: His remarks about "Hausordnung" (house order) and cleaning the stairs in front of one's apartment again applies to Southwest Germany only, in fact Northern Germans often make fun of this aspect and cite this is as one reason why they never would move South.

Or, to take with a grain of salt, too: "Any invitation for Saturday or Sunday afternoon around three or four o'clock always entails a duty to serve coffee and cake". I can only repeat myself and pity the author for having lived in an environment of _extremely_ conservative, possibly old people. In such passages, the book is actually counterproductive as it creates potentially false images and expectations for Americans visiting Germany.

Or the rule of always giving an odd number of flowers to hosts - I admit I have never heard of this in my life, having lived in Germany for more than 35 years... Or the rule that it is considered extremely rude to leave the toilet door open after one has used it.

Well, I could go on and on with such examples. They actually taught me something, too - etiquette I have never heard of and I probably should know if I ever worked in an upscale corporate environment between Frankfurt and Munich.

So this book is roughly equivalent to a guide to the USA which extrapolates from a corporate work experience in, say, Atlanta to all American culture.

Richard Lord warns the reader in his introduction that he may have a few axes to grind in this book, and he isn't kidding!

This book does deliver on its promise in that it is full of interesting and useful facts and anecdotes about German culture, but the underlying and pervasive tone of the book is negative. It is clear that Mr. Lord is harboring some deep dislikes/distrust of Germans and German culture and after reading 80 percent of the book I find myself feeling rather depressed at the prospect of even visiting Germany, let alone living there.

Poor Mr. Lord who has had stay in such an unpleasant place as he describes for 15 years--due to being married to a German! His book dedication states plainly that he certainly wouldn't stay there if it weren't for her. How miserable he must be, if his tone in this book is an indication!

Not all of what Lord says about Germans and German culture is negative, but the positive points are mentioned almost as an afterthought, whereas the negative points get center stage.

Imagine a book written about the U.S.A. for foreigners (and I know there are plenty of this type out there) that takes a truism here (violent crime), a stereotype there (loud, obnoxious, back-slapping American--admittedly there are a few of these) and mixes them together into a strong concentration with a dash of personal frustration (the author stings from an incident that happened to him/her that might not routinely happen to the majority of people) and you would get an unbalanced view of the U.S. as a dangerous, loud, and unfriendly place.

I'm writing this to warn readers that this book is laced with (mostly negative) opinions and is not (and really doesn't pretend to be) a balanced, journalistic discussion of German culture. I think I would have been happier with a book that simply told me the facts, leaving myself to make up my own mind what I think about the cultural differences after I've experienced them myself.

I have recently returned from living and working in Germany for one year. I read this book upon my return to the States and found Mr. Lord's perspective unbelievably accurate of the culture that I experienced. Germany is a wonderful place, but as with any country, the culture can be confusing at times. Mr. Lord, an American who is married to a German and has spent 15 years living there, gives a very raw, accurate, and insightful perspective on the German culture. He informs the reader about Germany's history, current customs, traditions, daily life, and how Germany's culture is evolving today. Many reviewers believe that Mr. Lord's perspective is a tad bitter. I believe brutally honest is a better description. He delivers a very accurate perspective for foreigners who plan to be immersed in the German culture for a long period of time. I highly recommend this book to anyone planning to live in Germany.
I would not however recommend this book to people planning a small vacation there. It is not a light and happy-go-lucky travel brochure. If you are looking for the charming cultural differences in Germany, check out a travel guidebook.

This book WOULD have been very useful and accessible for the average person looking for info on the everyday life in Germany. However, the bitterness and underlying resentment completely overwhelm this book. The bad parts are exaggerated, and it seems to poison even the few good factors the author lists-- thus completely ruining both the book and the reader's impression of Germany. It is more a book of the author's commentary about Germany than Germany itself, and is filled with less than entertaining and inspiring anecdotes. But moreover it leaves the reader with a sickly tainted feeling and a twinge of dread for Germany and its people. Sadly, this book could have been a five star if it lost the attitude. If you want to like Germany, DO NOT read this book.

I disagree with one reviewer's "bitter undertones" caveat. It simply isn't true. I've lived in Germany for a number of years and everything he writes has also been my experience and I love this country and the people. I got the same 'feeling' from Mr Lord's prose. To hit him over the head about his book dedication is rather much isn't it? It's the "main" reason he stays in Germany, not the only one. German culture, if it isn't one's native culture, presents unique and sometimes frustrating challenges everyday. That's simply the nature of any culture outside our own.

I bought this book in spite of reading the "bitter undertones" review and am happy I did because I wanted a book that I could recommend to other newly arrived English speakers in Germany.

I thought Richard Lord did a superb job and would highly recommend this book to anyone and everyone considering coming to Germany to live or visit.

Richard Lord covers all the basics and addresses all the parts that might "shock" if approached unaware (as I did when I moved here in the 90's) so of course his book is going to contain some things that might sound unpleasant - hence "Culture Shock". It wouldn't be called that if people didn't get nasty surprises when they leave their home cultures. All cultures have equal value but going from one to another almost always contains things we initially (or maybe forever) see as negatives. He also addresses all the practical aspects of living in Germany and that, in itself, is more than worth the price of the book in what it will save in lost time, lost money and buckets of frustration.

He's done the German people a great service by explaining many of the 'whys' of the ways they live and the things they hold dear. It's especially satisfying to see much of the explanation placed in historical context - where much of cultural habit resides. It's never enough of a picture to know that a culture is "this way" without knowing why because every aspect of a culture is rooted in its very special and unique experience. Once understood in context, it all makes more sense and then it's loads easier to adapt. I expect he managed this so well because he respectfully integrated himself into the culture insofar as possible for someone born and raised elsewhere.

If you buy this book, you'll be very, very glad you did.

Living for nearly 70 years in Germany as a native born German I don't agree with the negative reviews on this book. I read it with pleasure and found everything almost correct, maybe some smaller items and details could be corrected or updated. Lord gives a short and accurate summary of living in Germany. It is obvious that "each coin has two sides" as we say in Germany - and telling the negative (seeming) facts warning the visitor not to overrate his first impressions surely does not mean that Lord feels any bitterness towards my country.
More Germans should read this book - they would become conscious of their behaviour that might seem strange to foreigners and could try to make them more comfortable.
I am only sorry that Lord compares only very seldom German habits with US habits. Urgently I should now read another book: Cultureshock USA!

This book is packed with information and little interesting historical tidbits. It was interesting and easy to read. After living in Germany for a year now, I can say that while plenty of his observations seem accurate, others seem exaggerated....especially the negative ones. And most of the book has a really bitter negative undertone. It seems the author actually doesn't like Germany or Germans all that much. The dedication reads "For Gudrun, the main reason that I've stayed in Germany"...clearly Germany itself was not reason enough for him to stay. Nonetheless, this is still a decent and informative book. If you read it just keep in mind (it's hard to forget) that it was written by someone who is only there for his wife and doesn't really like it.

After returning from Germany three weeks ago after living there for over six months, I decided to reread my copy of Richard Lord's book. I think that the picture that Mr. Lord paints is an acurate one. I myself had many problems with the Germans that I think a lot or other foriegners don't have because they fill one of three catagories of being married to a German (as Mr. Lord is), being a student, or being a tourist. Most people fill the tourist catagory and the rest fall into the other catagories. I think that by being married to a German Mr. Lord has been able to be in Germany long enough to really see what the Germans are like. I think most of the other reviewers of this book have been looking at Germany through the rosied eyed glasses of tourism or their old student days. For me as I returned from Germany Mr. Lord hit the nail on the head. I just wish that I was able to pay more attention to the signs in his book before I went to Germany than after. This does not mean that I dislike Germany or Germans, it means that i would have been able to have a better idea of the country before I went. So if you are planing a trip to live in Germany for any amount of time and are not doing the tourist thing, please check out Mr. Lord's book.

In dealing with my German colleagues, Lord's insights have proven very accurate and useful. I didn't find his treatment to be mean or bitter. On the contrary, Lord is entertained by, but respectful, of the German culture. He portrays the culture not only as it is, but as it is transforming.

I'm really glad that I got this book. If you have an interest in German culture or are planning to visit or move there, then this book is for you. There's a wealth of material dealing with many aspects of German society. Some of the different things that the author discusses are German history, geography, food, and holidays. This is a very good reference book that I plan on reading more than once. It is a recommended guide.