Forget waiting for Mr. Right! You can go out and find "The One" yourself when you follow this plan. Celebrated relationship expert Dr. Janet Blair Page has distilled the very best of her acclaimed dating class at Emory University—the one covered by CNN, FOX, Good Morning America, and The Early Show—into this one-of-a-kind book. She's helped bring thousands of singles true love—and now it's your turn!
Your To-Do List This Year:
Today: Get to know yourself.
Next Month: Figure out what you really want from your man.
Month 3: Learn how to get out of your own way.
Month 6: Take the field and find the right guy.
Month 10: Make the big decision.
Month 12:Get married!
The power is yours—and with Dr. Page's guidance, you'll use that power to meet and marry your Perfect Guy. From designing the ultimate Spouse Shopping List to getting the right guy to commit, this tried-and-true method gives you the blueprint you need to take charge of your love life and find love that can last a lifetime—in only 12 months or less!
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Janet Blair Page, PhD is a psychotherapist with more than thirty years of experience in private practice in New York and Atlanta. She teaches at Emory University and has been in the New York Times, Glamour, and on CNN, FOX, Good Morning America, and The Early Show.
Would a yearlong, twelve-step plan help you get motivated into finding the right person to plan a future and family with? Author Janet Blair Page, Ph.D. presents just such a plan in her new book.
Page tells readers in an easy-to-read and even easier to follow, book where she highlights that the main goal is not just getting married in a year, but marrying well to the person that fits you the best. Yet another important message she writes about is the importance of developing a time frame to set and achieve a goal.
There are three main sections to the book, what you are doing wrong, beginning the search and on the road to happily ever after. There are numerous worksheets, self-assessment quizzes, lists such as the spouse shopping list and numerous suggests for self-reflection included throughout the book. There are also short "Love Notes" and "Love Stories" that are fun and interesting.
One of the most unique concepts Page describes is the "Love Resume" used to create a catalog of past relationships. Each chapter begins with a myth and a truth phrase. One sample is that the right person will complete you, the myth. The truth, the right person will be a good match for the person you happen to be.
This is just a fun and interesting book that is a delight to read. If you like it, you can get a ring on it (your ring finger) in no time. I'd recommend the book for those looking to find the right person to form a long lasting relationship.
It was a thrill and an honor to be asked to review the newest book 365 Days to "I Do" Get Married This Year by one of Atlanta's very own. Janet Blair Page, PhD has more than 30 years in psychotherapy private practice in Atlanta and New York. She teaches at Emory University and has a very successful dating class that has been featured on Atlanta's CNN, FOX, Good Morning America, and The Early Show.
With 2012 literally right around the corner, what better time is there than right now to pick up a copy of this book if you are in the dating game and looking to pair up for life. I mean come on, if the Turtle Doves can do it, so can we! With Dr. Page's help you can start off 2012 looking for the right the partner, and you will also get tips on how to "get to know yourself get out of your own way" when it comes to finding love and happiness.
The book is loaded with tips and advice, but it is also interactive in that it begins with having the reader take a good look at themselves and their history in Chapter One. From that information the book has a jumping off point to help you realize and evaluate finding love and a relationship.
Here's a sample of the many "Love Notes" that are through out the book:
"Heed the old cliche` when you point a finger, there are three more pointing back at you."
From Chapter 3: Self-Indulgence
"Nothing dampens a love relationship faster than yelling, meanness, and overall immaturity. After all, it takes a grownup to have a good marriage: in fact, it takes two. Character assassination is not foreplay."
As someone who's been married for quite some time, I can say that this book is full of real, practical advice that really rings true and not just for those that are single.... Sometimes in a relationship, after it has matured, you can forget some of the fundamental basics of respect and consideration to yourself and your partner. All those things you try to do while catching a partner, should be continued after you've snared them, if you plan to keep them.
Let's look at one of Janet Blair Page's lectures on dating don'ts.
Dating Don'ts'By Janet Blair Page, PhD,
'Dating should be more about the positive than the negative, but there are still some things any smart dater should avoid. Keep these don'ts in the back of your mind to avoid some of the most common dating mistakes. Don't nag, complain, get angry, swear, or drink too much on the first date, and little if any on future dates. If that's his best behavior, you don't want to see his worst. And if he doesn't care enough to be on his best behavior on a first date, you don't want to date him anyway!
Understand that if the other person is less-than-wonderful, they still might be a great mate. They might care, they might be nervous, they might not have had a trillion dating experiences. It's easy to be smooth and unflappable when you aren't invested, and you know you're not going beyond a few dates.
Don't go where one person knows everyone, and the other knows no one. This could be uncomfortable for the person who doesn't know a soul. They might feel stared at and judged -- and they might be stared at and judged. They also might feel your choice is a power play. Preferably, keep it more or less equal and on mutual or new turf for the first time.
Don't talk too much about work on any date, even if you love your job. At least pretend you have balance in your life at the beginning. If you're going to accomplish a good marriage in the future, you'll need to develop it anyway.
Don't talk about your ex. There's a matchmaking group in New York called Godmothers. They asked their clients what was the worst thing that happens on a first date. Almost everyone said the same thing: hearing about the ex. It's boring. It also communicates that you're still carrying baggage. And your date will assume quite correctly that where you're going to dump that baggage is on him.
Don't name-call. As we've previously discussed, character assassination is not foreplay. Your date wants to be treated like a person, not immediately and verbally lumped into the "jerk" category with all of your exes and Charles Manson. If he upsets you, let him know with words -- preferably ones that imply you have faith he could change -- but never names.
Don't interrupt. You'll never know how he would have finished his sentence, and if you always think you do, you're delusional. Interrupting is rude, even if you think it conveys your similar thinking. All it really conveys is your poor ability to listen. Trust me, he'll be far more impressed with your listening skills than your overly quick come-back.
Don't get involved with people with untreated chronic mental illness. This does not mean people who have solved problems. Given a choice, you're better off with someone who's had problems and successfully dealt with adversity. Nobody gets out of life without having a few problems. You are looking for somebody to marry who is good at whatever life throws at him, not someone to adopt.
Don't get involved with somebody whose ability to care just isn't there. It can be great to be the initiator, the positive one, the enthusiastic one in a relationship. No relationship is precisely 50/50. But if it gets past 65 percent on your part, then you need to reassess. Hold back, do a little less, speak up a little more, and say, "Would you do this for me?" Ask for more things to find out if you can be on the receiving end and aren't blocking him from giving. Being a giver is a great thing to be, but too many givers believe the reward is coming without any verification. Ask yourself if you are satisfied with your mate's willingness to give as well as to take. Ask him if he is satisfied with your willingness to give as well as to take. A sense of fairness in the relationship is based on this balance and understanding.
Don't be rigid about rules, behaviors, or schedules. Flexibility is a wonderful, important attribute to bring to a relationship. People who are extremely inflexible are guaranteed to be problems later on. Someone very inflexible very early in a relationship can be downright tyrannical as the years roll on.
Don't accept an overwhelming number of idiosyncratic behaviors. At best, he will wear you out. At worst, you'll need to commit him.
Don't let assertiveness turn into aggression. Assertiveness means, "I know what I want and I attempt to get it." Aggression is when you demand, insist, bully, manipulate, and will not settle for anything other than your way.
If you are looking to have a ring on your finger this year, but don't have the person you want to slip it on there yet, treat yourself to a copy of Janet Blair Page's new book. Even if you are in a relationship this book has some very good introspective tips that all of us can use either as a new guide or a good "kick in the pants" reminder.
Happy New Year everyone! I hope you all find love and happiness in 2012!
All great relationships are based on a clear understanding if ourself. How can you possibly find what you are looking for if you cannot identify what that is? Most important, the author asked the reader - "why"? Even if you are not seeking a new relationship this book has questions we should all ask about ourselves, our perceived needs and desires and how significant relationships do or do not support us.
Read this book and really liked it. It was very detailed in creating a plan to go out and find a partner. But I personally feel that a year is oftentimes not enough to really get to know a person. The first 2 years in almost any relationship, you are in a "honeymoon" phase, and I don't think it's particularly wise to make massive life changes when the love blinders are on. Just a thought.
This book is fantastic for those in the market for lasting love and those that may be just testing the waters. Dr. Page creates a road map that even the most directionally challenged can follow. I highly recommend it!
