Get Off Your "But": How to End Self-Sabotage and Stand Up for Yourself (Hardcover)

~ (Author), Anthony Robbins (Foreword) "Most parents pray that their baby will come out with all ten toes and ten fingers..." (more)
Key Phrases: physical confidence, pit crew, Start Connecting, Watch What You Say, Master Your Physical Confidence (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Starred Review. In Stephenson's powerful and practical debut, the psychotherapist and professional speaker reveals how to banish self-doubt and insecurity in a world where they may seem omnipresent. Beginning with the source of his own struggle, a rare and painful disease that causes his bones to weaken and break under minimal pressure, Stephenson offers a structured approach to a wide array of topics, including dating, weight loss, lack of motivation, friendship, finances, and goals. While his advice is encouraging and insightful, Stephenson's text is also notable for examples, mottos and resonant personal stories of enormous obstacles and accomplishments (his work with the Clinton administration, attaining his Ph.D., opening his own private practice). Though his unwavering optimism can be daunting (bringing one's day-to-day gripes into sharp relief), Stephenson is empowering and uplifting throughout, and should prove helpful whether facing a lifelong challenge or a more immediate battle.

Review

In Stephenson’s powerful and practical debut, the psychotherapist and professional speaker reveals how to banish self-doubt and insecurity in a world where they may seem omnipresent. Beginning with the source of his own struggle, a rare and painful disease that causes his bones to weaken and break under minimal pressure, Stephenson offers a structured approach to a wide array of topics, including dating, weight loss, lack of motivation, friendship, finances, and goals. While his advice is encouraging and insightful, Stephenson’s text is also notable for examples, mottos and resonant personal stories of enormous obstacles and accomplishments (his work with the Clinton administration, attaining his Ph.D., opening his own private practice). Though his unwavering optimism can be daunting (bringing one’s day-to-day gripes into sharp relief), Stephenson is empowering and uplifting throughout, and should prove helpful whether facing a lifelong challenge or a more immediate battle. (May) (PublishersWeekly.com, May 18, 2009)

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 240 pages
• Publisher: Jossey-Bass; 1 edition (April 20, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0470399937
• ISBN-13: 978-0470399934
• Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6.2 x 1.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (25 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #9,490 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

39 of 40 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Rare Gem of a Book, April 20, 2009

By	M. L Lamendola (Merriam, KS USA) - See all my reviews (TOP 1000 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)

This book has endorsements from big names ranging from the business literature (Ken Blanchard) to the self-help gurus (Susan Jeffers). The back jacket has a quote from former President Bill Clinton ("Sean is an amazing person with an important message"). Tony Robbins wrote the Foreword.

At this point, I could probably end the review because when those movers and shakers recommend a book what more do you need to know? Just get the book. Ah, this is a "but" situation! "I could write a review but" with those endorsements from such successful people...." The "but" situations we encounter every day can have far more profound effects than missing the opportunity to review a book of this caliber.

Sean's style is one of encouraging and prodding, but he's not a rah-rah guy. He's a realist. According to brain researchers (see my other reviews of brain-related books), reality is largely what we make it. The brain filters and repackages information before the conscious mind sees it, largely based on preconceptions and what it "ought to" see. The brain is, essentially, a predictive computer and it will predict based on what it perceives rather than what it senses. That is, it makes its own reality. This fact has only recently been verified in the neuroscience field (physical brain studies) but has long been a fundamental premise on the motivational lecture circuit.

Why is Sean a realist instead of a cheerleader? After all, anyone who is successful on the lecture circuit has it made, right? Classic silver spoon, right? Not right.

Years ago, I learned about a rare disease thanks to the movie "Unbreakable" (came out in 2000, starring Bruce Willis, Samuel L. Jackson, and Robin Wright Penn). In this movie, Jackson's character (Elijah) has extremely brittle bones. The movie has several flashback scenes that give us insight into what Elijah's life was like growing up. The movie starts off with his birth; he's born with broken bones.

Sean has that rare disease, and was born with broken bones. His condition makes his life very complicated. He didn't come from a life of ease, but has had to overcome enormous obstacles. He's now a PhD and licensed psychotherapist. He's completing a second PhD (clinical hypnosis). He's an internationally known professional speaker.

And he's three feet tall.

Reading this book, I could not help but feel a strong connection with Sean. He comes across as a person who just wants to help others. He makes his message simple and clear, but at the same time he helps the reader dig into complex challenges.

This book consists of seven chapters, a foreword, an epilogue, and a resources area.

The Foreword by Tony Robbins was very touching and helped me understand what an amazing person the author is. As I have a high opinion of Tony Robbins (whose critics have been forced to eat crow due to discoveries in brain science over the past few years), his endorsement means a lot. He didn't just throw out a few platitudes and empty praises. He made a point of explaining why Sean's book is a "must read." Tony "brings to life" what he's saying, through specific examples.

Chapter One. Born to Kick But: The Short Story of a Big Life. This is an autobiographical sketch. Here, we learn about Sean's childhood, the challenges he faced, and the object lessons he learned. He introduces us to his core philosophy: cause and effect. It's not a new concept and thus it's not something he made up to attract an audience. I've understood this concept for a very long time, but Sean helped me see it with greater clarity.

Chapter Two. Lesson 1: Start Connecting. There's a huge difference between merely communicating and actually connecting with others. I'm not a fan of President Clinton, but the man is an expert on connecting with people. In this chapter, Sean lists "Ten things I learned about connection from President Bill Clinton." Sean knows Clinton personally, so this isn't an armchair observation kind of thing. This chapter has lots of great information for anyone frustrated with relationships (business or personal).

Chapter Three. Lesson 2: Watch What You Say to Yourself. This gets into the traditional inner dialogue stuff, but takes it up a notch or two. One of the things Sean communicates here is your word choices can have a transformational effect (or not, if they are poor choices).

Chapter Four. Lesson 3: Master Your Physical Confidence. You can usually spot a person who has self-esteem issues, can't you? And why is it some people seem to dominate a room, even if they aren't the best-looking, best-dressed, or loudest person in the room? Sean explains why and what you can do about that.

Chapter Five. Lesson 4: Focus Your Focus. As I type this, I have a painful thumb infection. Guess when it hurts the most? When I'm thinking about it! In this chapter, Sean delves into such things as changing your focus from what you don't have to what you can be thankful for. He talks about directing your mind toward what you want to achieve rather than letting your mental powers drown in a pity puddle.

Chapter Six. Lesson 5: Choose Your Friends Wisely. Sean uses the metaphor of a pit crew to illustrate the differences between A Friends, B Friends, and C Friends. He explains that you can choose your pit crew. Avoid the takers, drainers and destroyers. Re-channel that energy into cultivating real friends. Since there's confusion over what a real friend is, Sean makes this clear.

Chapter Seven. Lesson 6: Take Full Responsibility. Either you own your situations, or they own you. When they own you, it's not good. Sean has a simple formula for understanding how to be in control: C > E. That is, cause is greater than effect. He explains how this works and how it can liberate you. As mentioned earlier, Sean is a psychotherapist. If a client will not agree to work with this formula, Sean ends the session and refunds the client's money. That's how important this is.

Epilogue. One Last Thing.... As it's only one page, it's an epilogue rather than a chapter. It's Sean's final piece of wisdom for applying the lessons in the book.

Resources. Sean lists books and movies "that shaped my life." All of these titles are familiar to me. He also lists excellent online resources for various issues.

This book is not one you want to miss. Get your copy today. If you are thinking, "Yeah, but..." then you desperately need it. Don't delay.

11 of 11 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars "What can a Man who's 3-feet tall Teach you about Confidence?", June 8, 2009

By	Rich Litvin "that confidence guy" - See all my reviews

Sean Stephenson faced the excruciating pain of almost 200 broken bones by the time he was just 18 years old, because of a condition called Brittle Bone Disease.

At 19 years old he had already achieved some amazing things but he was still unhealthy and aching for so much more in his life.

Then he met Tony Robbins who encouraged him to dream big.
REAL BIG.

Set TEN YEAR goals, said Tony.
So Sean did.

He set a goal to publish a book that changed people's lives and to have his own TV show by the time he was 29...

Sean turned 29 this year.
The same year his book was released AND he recorded his TV show "Three Foot Giant".

Get Off Your "But" - is an incredible book.

I work with people to help them build the confidence to achieve outrageous goals, so I know a thing or two about confidence. But I wrote notes on almost every page of this book. I loved it!

I've never written a book review on Amazon before - but I felt I had to today. The stories of both Sean's own life and that of his friends are truly inspirational. And the exercises really work.

I'll finish with a quote by the TV show host, Jimmy Kimmel:
"Sean Stephenson is the Yoda of personal development, with less pointy ears."

Oh, and some guy called Bill Clinton:
"Sean is an amazing person with an important message."

9 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Life Changing Book!, April 24, 2009

By	Ashley D. Smith "Ashleydsmith76" (Lindale, TX) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

Sean Stephenson share his beautiful view of the world and life in Get off your But...and it comes through the world of a man who has overcome obstacles than few could imagine!

My life was blessed by this book and it's very creative ways of altering the way you view your life and circumstances- to STOP making excuses and live the life that you were made to live.

I am almost through reading this great book and I have already recommended it to all of my family and friends!! It's a must read for anyone who is looking for a fresh perspective and a life of "excellence"!

It has fun stories & practical ways that you can rise above and overcome the lies that hold you back. It will entertain you and change you all at the same time!

A MUST READ!!