Customer Reviews

Get Off Your "But": How to End Self-Sabotage and Stand Up for Yourself

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This book has endorsements from big names ranging from the business literature (Ken Blanchard) to the self-help gurus (Susan Jeffers). The back jacket has a quote from former President Bill Clinton ("Sean is an amazing person with an important message"). Tony Robbins wrote the Foreword.

At this point, I could probably end the review because when those movers and shakers recommend a book what more do you need to know? Just get the book. Ah, this is a "but" situation! "I could write a review but" with those endorsements from such successful people...." The "but" situations we encounter every day can have far more profound effects than missing the opportunity to review a book of this caliber.

Sean's style is one of encouraging and prodding, but he's not a rah-rah guy. He's a realist. According to brain researchers (see my other reviews of brain-related books), reality is largely what we make it. The brain filters and repackages information before the conscious mind sees it, largely based on preconceptions and what it "ought to" see. The brain is, essentially, a predictive computer and it will predict based on what it perceives rather than what it senses. That is, it makes its own reality. This fact has only recently been verified in the neuroscience field (physical brain studies) but has long been a fundamental premise on the motivational lecture circuit.

Why is Sean a realist instead of a cheerleader? After all, anyone who is successful on the lecture circuit has it made, right? Classic silver spoon, right? Not right.

Years ago, I learned about a rare disease thanks to the movie "Unbreakable" (came out in 2000, starring Bruce Willis, Samuel L. Jackson, and Robin Wright Penn). In this movie, Jackson's character (Elijah) has extremely brittle bones. The movie has several flashback scenes that give us insight into what Elijah's life was like growing up. The movie starts off with his birth; he's born with broken bones.

Sean has that rare disease, and was born with broken bones. His condition makes his life very complicated. He didn't come from a life of ease, but has had to overcome enormous obstacles. He's now a PhD and licensed psychotherapist. He's completing a second PhD (clinical hypnosis). He's an internationally known professional speaker.

And he's three feet tall.

Reading this book, I could not help but feel a strong connection with Sean. He comes across as a person who just wants to help others. He makes his message simple and clear, but at the same time he helps the reader dig into complex challenges.

This book consists of seven chapters, a foreword, an epilogue, and a resources area.

The Foreword by Tony Robbins was very touching and helped me understand what an amazing person the author is. As I have a high opinion of Tony Robbins (whose critics have been forced to eat crow due to discoveries in brain science over the past few years), his endorsement means a lot. He didn't just throw out a few platitudes and empty praises. He made a point of explaining why Sean's book is a "must read." Tony "brings to life" what he's saying, through specific examples.

Chapter One. Born to Kick But: The Short Story of a Big Life. This is an autobiographical sketch. Here, we learn about Sean's childhood, the challenges he faced, and the object lessons he learned. He introduces us to his core philosophy: cause and effect. It's not a new concept and thus it's not something he made up to attract an audience. I've understood this concept for a very long time, but Sean helped me see it with greater clarity.

Chapter Two. Lesson 1: Start Connecting. There's a huge difference between merely communicating and actually connecting with others. I'm not a fan of President Clinton, but the man is an expert on connecting with people. In this chapter, Sean lists "Ten things I learned about connection from President Bill Clinton." Sean knows Clinton personally, so this isn't an armchair observation kind of thing. This chapter has lots of great information for anyone frustrated with relationships (business or personal).

Chapter Three. Lesson 2: Watch What You Say to Yourself. This gets into the traditional inner dialogue stuff, but takes it up a notch or two. One of the things Sean communicates here is your word choices can have a transformational effect (or not, if they are poor choices).

Chapter Four. Lesson 3: Master Your Physical Confidence. You can usually spot a person who has self-esteem issues, can't you? And why is it some people seem to dominate a room, even if they aren't the best-looking, best-dressed, or loudest person in the room? Sean explains why and what you can do about that.

Chapter Five. Lesson 4: Focus Your Focus. As I type this, I have a painful thumb infection. Guess when it hurts the most? When I'm thinking about it! In this chapter, Sean delves into such things as changing your focus from what you don't have to what you can be thankful for. He talks about directing your mind toward what you want to achieve rather than letting your mental powers drown in a pity puddle.

Chapter Six. Lesson 5: Choose Your Friends Wisely. Sean uses the metaphor of a pit crew to illustrate the differences between A Friends, B Friends, and C Friends. He explains that you can choose your pit crew. Avoid the takers, drainers and destroyers. Re-channel that energy into cultivating real friends. Since there's confusion over what a real friend is, Sean makes this clear.

Chapter Seven. Lesson 6: Take Full Responsibility. Either you own your situations, or they own you. When they own you, it's not good. Sean has a simple formula for understanding how to be in control: C > E. That is, cause is greater than effect. He explains how this works and how it can liberate you. As mentioned earlier, Sean is a psychotherapist. If a client will not agree to work with this formula, Sean ends the session and refunds the client's money. That's how important this is.

Epilogue. One Last Thing.... As it's only one page, it's an epilogue rather than a chapter. It's Sean's final piece of wisdom for applying the lessons in the book.

Resources. Sean lists books and movies "that shaped my life." All of these titles are familiar to me. He also lists excellent online resources for various issues.

This book is not one you want to miss. Get your copy today. If you are thinking, "Yeah, but..." then you desperately need it. Don't delay.

Sean Stephenson faced the excruciating pain of almost 200 broken bones by the time he was just 18 years old, because of a condition called Brittle Bone Disease.

At 19 years old he had already achieved some amazing things but he was still unhealthy and aching for so much more in his life.

Then he met Tony Robbins who encouraged him to dream big.
REAL BIG.

Set TEN YEAR goals, said Tony.
So Sean did.

He set a goal to publish a book that changed people's lives and to have his own TV show by the time he was 29...

Sean turned 29 this year.
The same year his book was released AND he recorded his TV show "Three Foot Giant".

Get Off Your "But" - is an incredible book.

I work with people to help them build the confidence to achieve outrageous goals, so I know a thing or two about confidence. But I wrote notes on almost every page of this book. I loved it!

I've never written a book review on Amazon before - but I felt I had to today. The stories of both Sean's own life and that of his friends are truly inspirational. And the exercises really work.

I'll finish with a quote by the TV show host, Jimmy Kimmel:
"Sean Stephenson is the Yoda of personal development, with less pointy ears."

Oh, and some guy called Bill Clinton:
"Sean is an amazing person with an important message."

Sean Stephenson share his beautiful view of the world and life in Get off your But...and it comes through the world of a man who has overcome obstacles than few could imagine!

My life was blessed by this book and it's very creative ways of altering the way you view your life and circumstances- to STOP making excuses and live the life that you were made to live.

I am almost through reading this great book and I have already recommended it to all of my family and friends!! It's a must read for anyone who is looking for a fresh perspective and a life of "excellence"!

It has fun stories & practical ways that you can rise above and overcome the lies that hold you back. It will entertain you and change you all at the same time!

A MUST READ!!

I've read a lot of books in this area, and this one is a great buy. Mr. Stephenson has a disarming way of winning you over in the book, dissolving your excuses, and giving you simple, yet powerful strategies for getting you--and keeping you--unstuck. He tells may stories from his life and personal experience that stay with you as universal messages. He teaches you how to connect to people, that conversation is 'ping pong" and it's your responsibility to "keep your yard clean". His energy, compassion and story-telling style really come through in the book. Watch him on YouTube first and you'll be amazed by this guy like I am. Read it and pass it along; you'll be glad you did.

Get Off Your "But", by Sean Stephenson
Published by Jossey-Bass
ISBN: 978-0-470-39993-4
Rating: Must read

If you want to be inspired to `get off your but' and make positive changes to your life, then reading, Get Off Your "But", by Sean Stephenson is a must read. Suffering from birth with Osteogenesis Imperfecta, a brittle bones disorder, Sean Stephenson shares with us his thirty year journey of his life. He has us realize our full potential in spite of any adversities we endure. Sean makes us realize there are no excuses to why we sit on our `buts'.
Sean shares his daily endurance to his physical disabilities to teach his readers we can overcome our fears and insecurities and learn more about ourselves. He gives us practical skills to help us to get off out `buts' and live our life to the fullest. Sean lives his life in a wheelchair with his disease with `pain' as his middle name. When asked if he gets used to the pain Sean replies, "No, at best I understand how to control it." This is Sean's message to his readers in his realistic guidebook, Get Off Your "But". He shows us how we control our own life. We can feel sorry for ourselves, or we can Get off our `buts' to make positive changes in our lives. Today Sean is a psychotherapist and a world renowned professional speaker.
What makes Sean so special? He learned how to displace his daily pain through self-discovery, "Pain was my teacher and I became its good little student." Sean eliminated all his `buts' and he encourages his readers to eliminate our `buts'. For example: Sure, I'd like to change, BUT..... I'm too old/too young. I'm too short/too tall. I'm too fat/too skinny. I'm not pretty /handsome enough. I'm not smart enough. I have a learning disability. Sound familiar? It sure did to me.
I had an unexpected life change at age 55 due to a chronic illness and have been sitting on my `but' for nine months, `but' I am disabled'. After reading Sean's six lessons in his book, I am now off my `but'! Never before has a book gone beyond words on a page to real life behavior changes like Sean Stephenson's book. Sean's encouragements in his words and lifelong lessons have his readers participate in activities such as writing responses in a journal. This activity gives us true insights and helps us to get off our `but.' Sean makes us realize we all have challenges and opportunities, and we can choose to sit on our `buts' and make excuses or Get off our `buts' and be successful in life. I chose to get off my `but' after reading Sean Stephenson's book, Get off Your "But" and I am looking forward to a sequel to keep me inspired to stay off my `but'.

Book Review by Mary Crocco

I had the privilege of meeting Sean at a conference in Calgary where the Dali Lama, Richard Branson and F.W. deKlerk spoke along with another 15 or so amazing speakers. Sean was one of the most (if not the most) captivating speakers. Sean's sincerity about helping and loving people is very real and he has insight that hits very much to the core of why people sabotage themselves.

I've been studying work from the masters in this area and spent a year working with Tony Robbins through his Platinum Partnership program, and I got some great new insights from Sean. Sean is a true gift to us all.

If you have any level of dissatisfaction with where you are in your life or if you have any desires to move ahead in your life, you owe it to yourself to read this book and do the exercises. If you get just one distinction from reading this book, it will be worth way more than the money and time you spend to get this book and properly follow it.

I'd never heard of Sean Stephenson before. Now I doubt that I will ever forget him.

Here is a human being, born with a rare genetic disorder that more likely than not, should have killed him during or shortly after birth. Practically every bone in his body was broken during his trip down the birth canal. His disorder makes his bones extremely brittle - even a gentle human touch could break them. At his maturity, he was only three feet tall. He didn't stand three feet tall because he can't stand - or walk.

Stephenson is now a psychotherapist and motivational speaker - and reading this book you can see that this man found his destiny, much to our benefit.

His book is about how we sabotage our lives with negative self-talk. Nothing he says is actually new: you can find it in the Bible, Roman, Greek Asian and other texts, the writings of self-help gurus like Anthony Robbins and the daddy of them all, Dr. Albert Ellis.

But Stephenson rolls in on a ball of fiery enthusiasm. His style is stand up and shout with joy because you're alive and no matter how bad you think things are, it is entirely within your power to make things better. This guy is like a day filled with sunshine.

When I opened the book to the rear flyleaf, I thought it was a joke: that the publisher for some strange reason had run a photo of Dr. Stephen Hawking, the compressed, gnarled person in the photo looking much like the famous physicist. My second thought was "Oh, oh: I don't want to read about sad thing".

Well, the truth is that Stephenson shows it is all a matter of perception. Here is someone born with what should be an overwhelming handicap. When he broke a bone, which was not an infrequent or uncommon occurrence, he wasn't rushed off to the hospital - he had to stay where the injury occurred to avoid the risk of further injury. He tells the story of breaking his femur at home on Halloween, his favorite day because other people dressed up to look strange, which he did without trying every day. And then he tells of how he would be left where he was until the injury had healed - and how he basically ignored it.

Sean Stephenson is inspiring. I have never heard or seen a person with such an incredibly inspiring outlook.

After you read this book, you'll be inspired to "Get off your BUT", put your fears and excuses aside and get what you want out of life. Great book.

Jerry

Get Off Your "But" is a truly dynamic book. The author uses the age-old reasoning of 'if I can do it (be a happy, successful, motivated, loving and loved person) so can you.' What makes this work is that he uses his personal story of being a child that was not supposed to live but did anyway and the hurdles that came with his physical limatations coupled with a lot of humor to show the reader that life really isn't as bad as we make it out to be in our own heads.

This book pried my eyelids open to see that the road blocks in my life are of my own creation and can therefore be uncreated. I've had a year of unbelievable loss that has spiraled into depression, fear and self-doubt. I was living in a "but" filled world. Recognizing that I was staying at my pity party a little too long made me look for a little kick in the pants and I found it in this book.

The exercises in the book, while not easy, were just the mirror I needed to see myself in and if you are reading this review you more than likely need a long hard look in that mirror too. Buy this book. All it can do is kick you in your "but."

I tend to avoid 'self help' type books, because my personal philosophy is that I already know what to do and I just need to get off my butt and do it (no pun intended). So I wasn't sure what to expect from "Get Off Your But", but I decided to take a chance because of the good reviews it's received. It didn't disappoint.

Even if the author hadn't shared the details about the adversity he's had to overcome in his life, I still would have found this to be a very inspiring and motivational read. But when you do learn about what he has had to overcome, it just adds a deeper layer of inspiration. I mean holy cow, what the hell do I have to whine about?? It certainly did make me want to get off my "but" and quit making excuses for not living my life on my own terms.

The author very eloquently shows how we all use excuses to self-sabotage our lives, choosing to remain victims in certain situations instead of getting out there and going after what we want in life. He's very candid about his own struggles with victim-hood, and he comes across as very human and down-to-earth.

I think that's an important reason why this book worked for me, the fact that he establishes a common ground where we're all just mixed up in this big soup called Life together. Some disabilities are on the outside, some disabilities are on the inside, but most of us have very similar issues to deal with when we get up every morning and try to get through the day. In a few passages he just barely begins to skirt the fringes of getting a little 'preachy', but it was never a turn-off because he quickly reverts back to the personable, amusing tone that made this such an enjoyable read in the first place.

Granted, the author has had kind of a rock star life compared to most of us, BUT his life could just as easily have gone the other way if he'd believed any of the stereotypes about what a handicapped person is or isn't capable of. Which I think is kind of the whole point of the book - none of us have to simply accept our perceived limitations. The key word here being 'perceived'...

Reading this book will open your eyes to the fact that changing your perceptions really can change your life. That's certainly not a new concept, but it's one that I seem to forget over and over for some reason. But this book 'smacked me upside the head' so to speak and brought home the concept in a profound new way for me. Highly recommended if you need help getting unstuck with any aspect of your life!

Sean Stephenson is smart, great psychotherapist with great sense of humor. His book is MUST read if you want to change your life for better.
For me this book is not only inspiration, motiwation, but it is step by step lesson about how to improwe my life.
I studied all 6 lessons with Sean's "Get of your BUT" and I learned how to get off My BUT. I'm really happy.
Thanks Sean!