Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior (Paperback)

by Mark Goulston (Author), Philip Goldberg (Author) "A patient of mine told her mother she was seeing a therapist..." (more)
Key Phrases: usable insight

Editorial Reviews

Review
Powerful practical insights that can help many to live more rewarding lives. -- Harold Bloomfield, How to Survive the Loss of a Love

Provides clear insight, compassionate understanding and practical solutions. -- Jack Canfield, Coauthor of Chicken Soup for the Soul

Product Description
Procrastination...Envy...Anger...Self-pity...Compulsion....In any of its many forms, self-defeating behavior is the single most common reason that people seek psychotherapy. It is a poison that prevents people from achieving the love, success, and happiness they desire. Get Out of Your Own Way is an antidote, explaining the reasons for self-sabotage by going back to the childhood origins of various behaviors. With anecdotes and usable insights drawn from twenty years of psychiatric clinical practice, Dr. Mark Goulston shares ideas that have helped thousands of patients overcome pain, fear, and confusion-to approach life's challenges with dignity, wisdom, courage, and even humor.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 208 pages
• Publisher: Perigee Trade (February 1, 1996)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0399519904
• ISBN-13: 978-0399519901
• Product Dimensions: 7.9 x 5.1 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 4.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars See all reviews (33 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #12,085 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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  #53 in	Books > Health, Mind & Body > Psychology & Counseling > Psychotherapy, TA & NLP
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

26 of 26 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars No-Nonsense Self-Help, April 5, 2000

By A Customer

This was one of the most refreshing and helpful books I've read in a long time. I was expecting pop-psych, but instead found a sensible, constructive, no-nonsense approach to recognizing and dealing with self-defeating behavior. Summaries of each behavior and step-by-step guides to change at the end of each chapter were a definite plus. I'd recommend this book to anyone who's ready change and is willing to make the effort to do it!

31 of 32 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars very helpful, September 23, 2001

By	meisui (non English-Spoken Country) - See all my reviews

I'm suffering from mild depression and I expected this book to be helpful for depressants to change ways of thinking and behaving but... It didn't help my depression a lot but it became a big help in my relationships. This book can make you feel worse or frustrated at times if you are sensitive and depressed. You may feel the author looks down on you or you may feel hurt.
This book is,however,very helpful for people having troubles or stress about relationships with their spouses,friends,family members,and colleagues at work.
This book is very easy to understand and each chapter is short enough. You can share the author's experience and it makes the book interesting and compassionate. You'll be surprised at his acute perspective and practical "easy-to-apply" solutions.
Each chapter's title
1.Chasing After Love and Approval from a parent 2.Getting Involved With Wrong Person 3.Procrastinating 4.Expecting Others
to Understand How You Feel 5.Waiting Until It's too Late 6.Getting So Angry You Make Things Worse 7.Saying Yes When You Want To Say No 8.Holding a Grudge 9.Assuming They Don't Want Anything in Return 10.Playing It Safe 11.Always having to Be Right 12.Focusing on What Your Pertner Is Doing Wrong 13.Putting up With Broken Promiss 14.Trying to Make up While You're Still Angry 15.Not Learning From Your Mistakes 16.Trying to Change Others 17.Rebelling Just for the Sake of Rebelling 18.Talking When Nobody's Listening 19.Pretending You're Fine When You're Not. 20.Becoming Obsessive or Compulsive. 21.Taking things Too Personally 22.Acting Too Needy 23.having Unrealistic Expectations 24.Trying to Take Care of Everybody 25.Refusing to "Play games" 26.Putting on an Act to Make a Good Impression 27.Being Envious of Others 28.Feeling Sorry for Yourself 29.Assuming the Hard Way Is the Right Way 30.Thinking "I'm Sorry"is enough 31.Holding It All In 32.Quitting Too Soon 33.Letting Others Control Your Life 34.Leaving Too Much To Chance 35.Letting Fear Run Your Life 36.Not Moving on After a Loss 37.Not Getting Out When the Getting Is Good 38.Not Asking for What You Need 39.Giving Advice When They Want Something Else 40.Backing Down Because You Don't Feel Ready

If you take interests in a few or more titles,you should buy this book. I bet you'll enjoy all chapters !

29 of 30 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars WOW ! A self-help book that actually HELPS!!, October 17, 2001

By	B. Doro "Doro" (Mt. Bethel, PA United States) - See all my reviews

This book is worth its weight in gold. No hocus-pocus quick fixes here - just common sense in short chapters on a myriad of methods human beings use to screw life up for themselves - or should I say "ourselves"? I saw myself on many pages, to one degree or another, and the "Usable Insights" were actually useful!! Very few authors go as far at stripping away the delusions people hide behind as Dr. Goulston. For anyone who REALLY wants to get to the nitty-gritty about how self-sabotage is hurting him/her, this book is a true gift!