Get Outta My Face!: How to Reach Angry, Unmotivated Teens with Biblical Counsel [Paperback]

Rick Horne (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 5, 2009

Get Outta My Face!, written for Christian parents, teachers, and youth workers, is about reaching angry, unmotivated, disinterested teens with biblical counsel. Such teens confused and insecure - are selfish; they want what they want, right now. They are corrupted by sin and this corruption is the cause of their problem. Despite all their sin problems, they are still made in the image of God, and this is the key to helping them. This book will help with addressing the teen's sin and bringing them to their God-given desires and godly actions. Far from dismissing or sugarcoating sin, this approach opens wide the door to evangelizing the unsaved teen and to helping the Christian teen grow in holiness and wisdom.

Editorial Reviews

Review

Rick Horne knows teens - the kind that won't talk and those that won't stop talking. If you have a teenager, you need this book. In fact, don't wait for the teen years! Arm yourself now with the timeless truths from this book that counsels moms and dads with gospel hope for teenage trials. --Dave harvey, Sovereign Grace ministries, Church Planting and Church Care

Here is the wisdom of a man who has experienced the courage and hope that transforming grace can give to you and that hard teenager God has placed in your life. This book is a call to action with biblical perspectives and practical steps that God can use to change the teenager and you as well. --Paul Tripp, D. min., Author, Pastor, International Conference Speaker

Rick Horne knows teens - the kind that won't talk and those that won't stop talking. If you have a teenager, you need this book. In fact, don't wait for the teen years! Arm yourself now with the timeless truths from this book that counsels moms and dads with gospel hope for teenage trials. --Dave harvey, Sovereign Grace ministries, Church Planting and Church Care

About the Author

M. Div. (Reformed Episcopal Seminary), M. Ed. (West Chester University), D. Min. (Westminster Theological Seminary). With over 30 years in Christian school guidance and counseling, Rick is currently the Director of Guidance, Delaware County Christian School. He is the coordinator of the Graduate Concentration in School Guidance Counseling in the M.Ed. Curriculum and Instruction major at Columbia International University.

Rick is a frequent presenter for school counseling related CEU and graduate credit courses and continuing education Enablers in U.S. and international conventions sponsored by the Association of Christian Schools International. ACSI has published three of his books about school guidance and counseling and one title dealing with scornful attitudes in the Christian school. Rick and his wife Betty have been married 39 years and have five married children, nine grandchildren, and one high school senior.

Product Details

• Paperback: 192 pages
• Publisher: Shepherd Pr (January 5, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0981540074
• ISBN-13: 978-0981540078
• Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.4 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (11 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #328,037 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

15 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Review [...], February 3, 2009

By 

Caleb Land (Macon, GA United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Get Outta My Face!: How to Reach Angry, Unmotivated Teens with Biblical Counsel (Paperback)

One of the most frustrating things about working with teenagers is the difficulty of understanding their point of view and rationale and developing good communication with them. For parents, counselors and youth pastors alike it is often difficult to build trust and help students see the consequences of their actions, suggest positive change and help them see God's plan for their life because of these communication barriers. These conversations are more likely to end in an eruption of anger than in true heart change. If you are a parent or have responsibility for counseling or mentoring teenagers, Rick Horne's new book Get Outta My Face: How to Reach Angry, Unmotivated Teens with Biblical Counsel is a must read.

Horne is very specific in his purpose for the book. It isn't a parenting manual or a guide for teaching spiritual truth. Instead, it is a biblically rooted guide for establishing a bridge of communication with teenagers, helping them see that they make choices that have consequences, and ultimately about how to bring about change in their lives and point them to ultimate life change in the gospel of Christ. Horne does an excellent job of remaining thoroughly biblical while offering solid, practical advice for working with unmotivated teenagers.

The book is divided into three parts. In Part I, Horne does some background work on how the Bible describes teenagers and how concerned adults should view and approach them. Teenagers are sinners in need of God's grace, but the Bible respects them as young adults and gives instruction for growing in wisdom and life transformation. Parents and counselors should respect them as fellow image bearers of God and recognize that, though tainted with sin, underneath sinful behavior are "wise wants" that flow from creation in God's image. Counselors need to recognize their own sinfulness and limitations and have a genuine love and concern for the teenager before entering a counseling setting.

In Part II, Horne transitions to the practical advice for developing communication and seeing students recognize their choices, own their behavior and make changes. He instructs counselors to "Listen Big" before offering advice. Try to hear the wise wants behind the students wants and behavior. Affirm these wise wants without affirming sinful behavior. Second, expose the realities of the teens experience. Help them to see the consequences of their choices and the limits of their control. Third, look for "exceptions," solutions from the past that produced desirable outcomes for the teenager. Help them to see how different behavior then could be applied to current undesirable outcomes. Finally he encourages counselors to plan small. Help the teenager develop an achievable, measurable plan and hold them accountable to it.

In the final part, Horne brings the entire discussion back to the gospel. He points out that the system he develops is seriously defective if the gospel isn't the ultimate destination because, although it may produce external results, it will not truly bring life change. Parents and counselors are encouraged to continue steering the discussions to heart issues and to constantly point teenagers to the cross of Christ.

This is a relatively short book at only 171 pages and well worth every cent. The book is clear, specific and to the point. It will help anyone who works with teenagers to develop better communication skills and be more effective in ministering to young adults and pointing them to the gospel. If you want to be a more active influence in the life of a teenager and see lasting change, this book is a great place to look for help. It is highly recommended.

11 of 11 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars A Great Book for Building Bridges, May 17, 2009

By 

Michael Leake "Borrowed Light" (Huntingburg, IN) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Get Outta My Face!: How to Reach Angry, Unmotivated Teens with Biblical Counsel (Paperback)

If you have spent any time with teenagers then more than likely you have met an angry, unmotivated, or disinterested teen. You may even have one living in your house. Rick Horne hopes to help parents, teachers, and youth workers reach these teenagers with biblical counsel.

His method is really quite simple: Get to Know Your Teen -> Build a Bridge -> Point to the Cross. As Horne explains, "This book will teach you how to build a bridge to young adults on the basis of the ways in which their desires and actions reflect the image of God and the blessing of common grace".

This book really shines in the area of helping adults understand what is going on in the mind of today's teenager. As I read through this I could not help but think of parent's I would love to get this book to. This book is also written in an easy to remember fashion. It is well outlined and easy to follow.

I read this book over a month ago, but put off writing a book review so I could think it over. Something about it did not sit well with me. Not that it should be confined to propping up the leg to your kitchen table; nothing that severe. Something seemed to be missing. Had it not been for the last chapter I would have been very disappointed.

After some time to think it over I think I have discovered what sits wrong with me. The book shines in the area of "HOW TO REACH ANGRY, UNMOTIVATED TEENS". But it is incomplete in doing so "WITH BIBLICAL COUNSEL". It effectively teaches how to build a bridge, but once that bridge is built it leaves you asking, "what now"? I hope the last chapter serves as introduction to a second book on pointing teenagers to the cross. This important chapter should have been woven into every chapter the preceded it.

Even with the negatives where this book shines it really shines. If you have a general idea of what it means to reach someone with biblical counsel but are unsure how to build a bridge into their lives then this is a great book for you. If you already have built a bridge and are looking for advice on how to offer biblical counsel then this book is not for you. But what do you expect, the title of this book is Get Outta My Face! You expect a book telling you how to reach the unmotivated. I only wish it had been about 250 pages instead of 176. Still, though, every parent and youth worker needs to read this book.

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars My Thoughts On This Book, February 14, 2009

By 

Nathan Lino (Houston, Texas) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Get Outta My Face!: How to Reach Angry, Unmotivated Teens with Biblical Counsel (Paperback)

Rick Horne is coordinator of the graduate concentration in school guidance counseling at Columbia International University, has more than thirty years experience as a high school guidance counselor, has raised six children to adulthood and yet still realizes the only true authority is the bible and is not found in himself. His book comes after years of studying Scripture, including a doctorate degree from the respectable Westminster Theological Seminary, and a long career working with teens. Horne uses a strictly nouthetic approach to write this prescription for connecting and communicating with teens marked by anger, indifference and apathy.

The book is laid out in three sections with the first section focused primarily on foundational truths any adult who deals with teens should know. Specifically, in chapter 2, Horne provides eight biblical facts about relating to teens that is not the usual psychobabble fare about cultural and generational divides one hears from their favorite psychotherapist or Dr. Phil, but rather truths such as every teen is a sinner in need of Christ and Scripture provides instruction for how to speak and what to say to angry young people. The rest of section one deals with a parent or youth worker's motivation and goals when dealing with teens.

Section two leaves the conceptual realm and moves into a presentation of a very practical and structured plan written by Horne for communicating effectively with teens. The plan is designed to be memorized by a parent or youth worker and thereby guide the adult through meaningful and constructive conversations with teens. This reader tends to shy away from memorized presentations like this, but can see how the plan has the potential to be very helpful to some. Also, Horne's plan in section two seems to be a little too clinical as it includes instructions about sitting posture and how to make clarifying statements, etc, and certainly seems more helpful in formal settings like an appointment with a counselor or minister or a formal conversation with a parent. It seems unlikely that the plan laid out in section two would be helpful for typical daily interaction; however, the principles behind the plan are very, very good.

Section three provides good instruction for how to get off to a good start using Horne's plan and most impressively concludes with a chapter on the vital importance of pointing the teen to the Cross. He explains that no parent or youth worker can bring life change to any teen, but only the work done by Jesus Christ on the Cross.

Horne's work is very easy to read and is comparable to the reading level of a book one would find in the practical helps section of their local Christian bookstore.

Horne should be applauded for his commitment to a nouthetic approach instead of the typical integration of humanism and theism. In fact, while avoiding mind numbing, difficult terminology, he argues strongly against a humanistic approach to impacting teens. A good example is chapter four when Horne argues that the objective for the home is not the absence of conflict, but rather the pursuit of God's glory. If the absence of conflict is the goal of the home, a parent will ultimately allow the teen to rule the home in an effort to avoid conflict. More evidence of Horne's argument for theism over humanism is that he starts the book with the position that teens are sinners and concludes the book with a call for parents to point their teen to the Cross.

The chapter about foundational principles of relating to teens in section one is the prized feature of this particular work and worth the price of the book. As Horne points out, if a parent or youth worker will embrace these principles, it will at least cause the adult to approach teens from a biblical perspective.

This reader is not declaring Horne's book to be the definitive resource for raising teens nor an absolutely must have book for the youth parent or worker's library; Horne himself states clearly that the book is not an exhaustive guide for raising teens, but rather focuses strictly on communication. However, this book is an excellent tool that is biblically centered and provides both the biblical principles and resulting practical steps for communication with teens. This book could be very helpful to a parent whose eldest child is entering the teen years and the parent is trying to equip themselves for the new season of life or a parent frustrated by an angry or apathetic teen. It could also be a good aide to a church youth worker or a school guidance counselor struggling to connect with a sullen and unmotivated teen. Additionally, this book would make a great curriculum for a small group topical study in a local church setting.