95 of 105 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Fraudulent, self-serving B.S., April 29, 2005
This review is from: Get Serious About Getting Married: 365 Proven Ways to Find Love in Less Than a Year (Hardcover)
Ignore customers who are dissing reviewer Eileen Pollack -- she's right on the money. (Thank you, Eileen.) This book is absolutely fraudulent...the author, a "professional matchmaker" on the island of Manhattan has parlayed a NYTimes article into a profit center. Ms. Spindel does her matchmaking soley for the super-affluent, and her advice might have some slight relevance for those living in the stratosphere, but it's utterly stupid and sometimes even degrading for those ordinary folks who live in flyover country (i.e., "the real world").
Janis Spindel is captilizing on the misfortunes of the over-35, never-married women who fill big cities like NYC and LA.This is a vulnerable group and they can be milked to buy every fad and self-help book, blaming themselves for their failure to get married. This is hyper-consumerism, driven by fear, at it's worst. For some women (especially the over 50s): Wake up! there is a reason you avoided marriage all this time. You probably have significant reason to be single, and maybe you are better off this way. Any women who are never-married at 55 and still thinking wistfully about HAVING A BABY (past menopause!) need a serious reality check and THERAPY, not a self-help book.
Most of Ms. Spindel's advice is pathetic and ridiculous, like something out of a 1950s fashion magazine -- get a haircut! wear makeup! shave your legs! (If these basics are your problem, then you have a lot more issues than simply not finding a husband.)
Most of the single, mature professional women I know are well-heeled, nicely dressed and polished -- the picture of sophistication. They hardly need this kind of basic advice.
Other suggestions border on crazy: no short haircuts! don't wear pants! What is this, the 19th century? What if you look better in short hair or it suits your lifestyle? What women these days DOESN'T wear pants? Do you seriously think that your married friends DON'T WEAR slacks or jeans?
There is an idiot assumption in this book that in order to get married you must "fool" an older, wealthier male and that is the only way to get married -- RUBBISH. There are lots of terrific, single men OF ALL AGES, sizes, income levels, races, religions, etc. in EVERY part of the country (not just the bigger cities, as Ms. Spindel claims) -- ever heard of a little thing called divorce? There are huge numbers of divorced men out there, plus plenty of never-married singles. Anyone who tells women differently is an out-and-out liar...preying on their insecurities and fears. SHAME!
The worst part is the constant harping and shame-mongering about weight -- the book constantly slams the overweight, insisting that there are no men available for anyone bigger than a size 6. The most painful aspect of this is that most of the single women I know who are avoiding dating are doing it BECAUSE they feel inadequate over their weight -- waiting to start dating when they feel "thin enough". Meanwhile the years go by, and the opportunties diminish. THIS IS INSANE. There are men of all sizes, and men of all different tastes...look around any mall or large public arena and you will see men with women of ALL SIZES and SHAPES.
Shame and fear and hyper-consumerism are no way to impower women, or help them find happy, fulfilling relationships. This is the worst kind of mean-spirited, bigoted, subversive salesmanship -- to make women feel terrible about themselves and then turn around and sell them tooth-bleaching, image consultants, overpriced clothing and makeup...all selling them a pathetic dream...when the reality is that there are plenty of men out there available to any woman who feels happiness, self-respect and pride in herself THE WAY SHE IS, not some sterilized version of a Madison Avenue advertisement.
Sick, self-hating and demeaning. Fortunately for single women, none of this is true. DON'T BUY OR READ THIS BOOK, unless you want to feel very, very bad about yourself!!!!!
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26 of 28 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
There are better books out there., September 13, 2005
This review is from: Get Serious About Getting Married: 365 Proven Ways to Find Love in Less Than a Year (Hardcover)
The majority of this book is about looks (which I agree is important when attracting a man) but Janis thinks everyone over 100 pounds will never get married. If you are not 25, under 105lbs and live in a fashionable area of New York she does not think you have a chance. Some of the advice in this book is ridiculous..get professional blowouts, massages, a personal trainer, image consultant, veneers (which cost at least $15,000),etc. how many people can afford this? Also, she has several plugs in the book for service providers who are listed on her website. Does she get free service from all these people she mentions? There is some good advice but her New York attitude definitely shows throughout the book.
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11 of 11 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Spindel spin on Sexlives is soured Spew - Insane, December 21, 2007
This review is from: Get Serious About Getting Married: 365 Proven Ways to Find Love in Less Than a Year (Hardcover)
This book is a excellent guide if you want to be a soulless Trophy Wife. Or if you are a masochist.
For anyone with even the smallest semblance of dignity or depth it is a laughable read.
I myself probably spend too much time on cultivating my looks and style.
But even I can recognize that there is more to life than surface appeal.
I have found that MOST men are attracted by looks, but personality and the way a woman reponds to them and appreciates them is what ULTIMATELY makes them love and marry her.
I feel sorry for Ms Spindel because she misses the entire point of what makes marriages click and what true love is all about.
A very rigid and brittle viewpoint.
I also take umbrage at how she she only wants like with like.
At a talk she gave to a sorority at Columbia University earlier this year, she discouraged interracial and interreligious dating.
That kind of thinking is repressed, nasty and judgemental.
Also she spouts that the top three things men want in a woman are looks, thin body and a younger woman.
Sure looks are important, but some men do like healthy curves. Not huge but healthy.
And men want fresh and young looking women. But are not hung up on actual numbers according to research.
Stay far away from this book if you have self worth and want a wholesome and real marriage !
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