Customer Reviews

Get Serious About Getting Married: 365 Proven Ways to Find Love in Less Than a Year

5 star:		(17)
4 star:		(4)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(10)

 

 

Ignore customers who are dissing reviewer Eileen Pollack -- she's right on the money. (Thank you, Eileen.) This book is absolutely fraudulent...the author, a "professional matchmaker" on the island of Manhattan has parlayed a NYTimes article into a profit center. Ms. Spindel does her matchmaking soley for the super-affluent, and her advice might have some slight relevance for those living in the stratosphere, but it's utterly stupid and sometimes even degrading for those ordinary folks who live in flyover country (i.e., "the real world").
Janis Spindel is captilizing on the misfortunes of the over-35, never-married women who fill big cities like NYC and LA.This is a vulnerable group and they can be milked to buy every fad and self-help book, blaming themselves for their failure to get married. This is hyper-consumerism, driven by fear, at it's worst. For some women (especially the over 50s): Wake up! there is a reason you avoided marriage all this time. You probably have significant reason to be single, and maybe you are better off this way. Any women who are never-married at 55 and still thinking wistfully about HAVING A BABY (past menopause!) need a serious reality check and THERAPY, not a self-help book.
Most of Ms. Spindel's advice is pathetic and ridiculous, like something out of a 1950s fashion magazine -- get a haircut! wear makeup! shave your legs! (If these basics are your problem, then you have a lot more issues than simply not finding a husband.)
Most of the single, mature professional women I know are well-heeled, nicely dressed and polished -- the picture of sophistication. They hardly need this kind of basic advice.
Other suggestions border on crazy: no short haircuts! don't wear pants! What is this, the 19th century? What if you look better in short hair or it suits your lifestyle? What women these days DOESN'T wear pants? Do you seriously think that your married friends DON'T WEAR slacks or jeans?
There is an idiot assumption in this book that in order to get married you must "fool" an older, wealthier male and that is the only way to get married -- RUBBISH. There are lots of terrific, single men OF ALL AGES, sizes, income levels, races, religions, etc. in EVERY part of the country (not just the bigger cities, as Ms. Spindel claims) -- ever heard of a little thing called divorce? There are huge numbers of divorced men out there, plus plenty of never-married singles. Anyone who tells women differently is an out-and-out liar...preying on their insecurities and fears. SHAME!
The worst part is the constant harping and shame-mongering about weight -- the book constantly slams the overweight, insisting that there are no men available for anyone bigger than a size 6. The most painful aspect of this is that most of the single women I know who are avoiding dating are doing it BECAUSE they feel inadequate over their weight -- waiting to start dating when they feel "thin enough". Meanwhile the years go by, and the opportunties diminish. THIS IS INSANE. There are men of all sizes, and men of all different tastes...look around any mall or large public arena and you will see men with women of ALL SIZES and SHAPES.
Shame and fear and hyper-consumerism are no way to impower women, or help them find happy, fulfilling relationships. This is the worst kind of mean-spirited, bigoted, subversive salesmanship -- to make women feel terrible about themselves and then turn around and sell them tooth-bleaching, image consultants, overpriced clothing and makeup...all selling them a pathetic dream...when the reality is that there are plenty of men out there available to any woman who feels happiness, self-respect and pride in herself THE WAY SHE IS, not some sterilized version of a Madison Avenue advertisement.
Sick, self-hating and demeaning. Fortunately for single women, none of this is true. DON'T BUY OR READ THIS BOOK, unless you want to feel very, very bad about yourself!!!!!

The majority of this book is about looks (which I agree is important when attracting a man) but Janis thinks everyone over 100 pounds will never get married. If you are not 25, under 105lbs and live in a fashionable area of New York she does not think you have a chance. Some of the advice in this book is ridiculous..get professional blowouts, massages, a personal trainer, image consultant, veneers (which cost at least $15,000),etc. how many people can afford this? Also, she has several plugs in the book for service providers who are listed on her website. Does she get free service from all these people she mentions? There is some good advice but her New York attitude definitely shows throughout the book.

This book is a excellent guide if you want to be a soulless Trophy Wife. Or if you are a masochist.
For anyone with even the smallest semblance of dignity or depth it is a laughable read.
I myself probably spend too much time on cultivating my looks and style.
But even I can recognize that there is more to life than surface appeal.
I have found that MOST men are attracted by looks, but personality and the way a woman reponds to them and appreciates them is what ULTIMATELY makes them love and marry her.
I feel sorry for Ms Spindel because she misses the entire point of what makes marriages click and what true love is all about.
A very rigid and brittle viewpoint.
I also take umbrage at how she she only wants like with like.
At a talk she gave to a sorority at Columbia University earlier this year, she discouraged interracial and interreligious dating.
That kind of thinking is repressed, nasty and judgemental.
Also she spouts that the top three things men want in a woman are looks, thin body and a younger woman.
Sure looks are important, but some men do like healthy curves. Not huge but healthy.
And men want fresh and young looking women. But are not hung up on actual numbers according to research.
Stay far away from this book if you have self worth and want a wholesome and real marriage !

I saw Janis on some TV interviews and thought she was terrific. As I am newly "on the market", I thought reading this book would give me some tips to get back in the game. I liked myself before reading the book, and I thought she would give me some advice on how to tweak what I already have. Half way through the book I was so depressed I didn't want to finish it. I learned that I need to hire a personal trainer and a fashion consultant, change jobs, move to some other part of the country......basically change everything about myself to find a man. I am so disappointed that I spent money on this book. If I lived in New York or LA the advice might be relevant to that lifestyle, but I don't, nor do I want to. The only good chapter was how to recognize when you've been in a relationship too long with a loser, something that should be obvious but isn't when you love the guy and you're convinced he'll change. I'll give her credit on that one. Otherwise, I'll keep looking for the man that loves and appreciates my assets just as they are!

Okay so I'm always complaining to my friends about how guys never talk to me...or about my lack of dates with guys...or just the fact that I hardly get any attention at all from the opposite sex...But I can honestly say that this book has really helped me see why I may not have been asked out before. I think an important thing that sometimes women forget that Janis reminded me of was just being a "girl." The simple things that men have loved about women from the beginning of time is what Janis is talking about in this book. The whole looking guys in the eyes and looking down to show the effect his words are having on you...going out looking good and feeling good about yourself and thinking positive thoughts...smiling while talking..or just smiling period is what men love about women. It shows confidence and femininity and makes you stand out. That's what's been missing with me.

I think sometimes women get soo bogged down with the daily grind and with society that we forget to just enjoy being a girl and doing the girlish things that have been attracting men since the beginning of time. I can honestly say that since reading this book I've been asked out on dates at least three times in the past two weeks and attended a function recently where multiple men approached me to tell me how beautiful my hair, eyes, or just how beautiful I looked. By the end of the night my girlfriend and I looked at each other and were like wow. Cause I only had on jeans, a cute shirt and cute accessories...stuff I normally wear. But I really believe my new and improved aura was what made those guys say those things. What was I doing...I was smiling...looking them in the eyes...feeling good about myself...and just enjoying being a girl.

I suggest everyone check this book out. It was a fun read and for the bad reviews on here..give it a break. Yes your friends might go out looking good or whatever but if they aren't displaying their femininity which is what this book is really about then they aren't gonna get asked out. This book just refreshes you on what you already knew all along but might not be doing. Thanks Janis!

The instructions in this book we mainly superficial. The main message was that as women we had to look sexy, our best, nails, hair, clothes. The questionaire inquired nothing of real personality. I was very disappointed. This was not a book for real people. This book is for those that make judgements only on the surface.

This book inspires you to give your all to find your life partner in marriage. Janis Spindel offers sensible advice and gets you off the couch. Her practical strategies will help you to radiate confidence and availability. She has a great deal of experience in matching people and understands the subtleties involved. I also recommend Optimal Thinking: How To Be Your Self to help you make the most of every situation as you move toward achieving this goal. With Optimal Thinking, you learn how accept what is out of your control (like your soul mate's needs and choices) and optimize what is within your control (how you can best respond to your soul mate's needs, master feelings AND get your most important needs met).

OK, I said to myself, if only 10 of the 365 tips prove to be worthwhile, it's probably worth the money. I'm about halfway through and I'm very happy I spent my money. I like Spindel's common sense approach and also her insight into how women fool and delude themselves over improper romantic attachments--while letting more worthy long-term prospects slip through our fingers. I just started dating a really great guy I probably wouldn't have "given a chance" before--since I always avoided "nice guys". Quitting bad dating habits is harder than quitting smoking! ...Just for fun, I'm reading a really hilarious book written by a man about his adventures as a Dad, it's called, "I Sleep At Red Lights: A True Story of Life After Triplets," by Bruce Stockler. Funny, honest and a roller coaster entertainment.

The aspect of this book I like the most is the tip format. You can read this book straight through (I read it last night in one sitting) but you can also dip into it anywhere and find something amusing and useful. The author is pretty frank about what women need to do, especially those of us who are over 35, but it's really honest and helpful in the same way the British "What Not to Wear" women are: "your best friends won't tell you but we're not you're best friends, and we will!" That's the attitude this author takes. Harsh at times, but frankly, I do need a new haircut. There's also a chapter that is devoted to places where you can meet men, many of which seem pretty imaginative. By the way, Johanna Davidson is my real name, not a pen name I just don't want to give Amazon my credit card number.

I have purchased in excess of 100 books on relationships, self-help. My hobbie.I have to say, this book is without question, the most worthless book I have ever purchased. It was written for a 5 year old. This book will not help you in any way. Do not waste your time or money on this book.

Also, I wanted to give this book zero stars, because that is what it should be, but this site does not allow that.