Customer Reviews

Getting Back Together: How To Reconcile With Your Partner - And Make It Last

5 star:		(3)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

I was a little discouraged when I started reading "Getting Back Together". In the early chapters, there were frequent references to partners that aren't speaking or won't accept phone calls. Thinking about reconciling when you can't even have a conversation with your partner seemed rather ridiculous.

The other thing I found disconcerting was the implication that when a couple decides to try again, the one that moved out immediately packs their bags and moves home. Don't get me wrong, the book addresses the soul searching and many changes that must take place in each individual prior to even considering a reconciliation, but it is only in the last chapter that a period of "dating" or being a couple without living together is even mentioned. I would have appreciated some practical advice on getting from the point of making the decision to pursue a reconciliation and moving back home.

Youngs uses a variety of couples as examples and they represent a broad spectrum of ages, situations and issues. No book is going to have an example that is exactly like your own situation, but I was able to identify with aspects of many of the relationships, and found something of value in almost all of them.

Even though I think my husband and I are beyond the first steps in her process, I thought the exercises were very helpful in capturing my thoughts, feelings, values and needs. I have a good understanding of my remaining issues and know the things that I need to discuss with my husband.

I'm the type that usually skips the exercises in self-help books, planning to return to them later or figuring that anything of value is gained from just reading the book. Because I have decided to put my marriage first, and I'm committed to making my reconciliation work, I went through each one, even when they began to feel a bit repetitive (probably because I read through it in two days). All in all, I found reading this book and working through the exercises to be well worth the time.

Although I felt this book started out a little slow, I found this book to be an amazing read. It resonated so well with me between the couples used as examples and the tools/techniques that they suggest.

My husband and I have been seperated for a few months now and we go through peaks and valleys of where our communication stands. It's not easy, but this book always helps you to never waiver hope. They give examples of all different couples who go through various stages in their relationship/marriage and why they seperate or even divorce. Be it from addicition, infidelity to just growing apart. Of course, there are certain situations where the marriage can't be saved but more can be saved then not. It depends on what's most important to you. Since my situation began, I have been reading as many "fix your marriage" books that seem to grab me as I can. I have been very successful with my "library" so far and this book is certainly a must have for the collection. You can never get enough knowledge and it's amazing how a few simple changes in words make a huge impact.

I HIGHLY recommend this book. If you are looking to learn to change your patterned behaviors for yourself and your relationship this book will help you. Your spouse/partener does not have to read it with you. YOU can make significant changes within yourself that will just permeate onto your spouse.

My book is highlighted and dog-eared all over the place...yes...again, it was that good.

Other recommendations I have are John Gottman, Susan Page, Charlotte Kasl, Paul Friedman and Howard Markman.

As a young, strong and independent woman, this book was perfect for me when I found out about my husbands affair. It didn't make me feel like a victim, and didn't make me feel bad about NOT wanting to get back together. I also bought it for my husband. Since we were not focused on getting back together, rather, bettering ourselves, we were able to decide if we wanted to be together in the long run. It is sooo important to focus on yourself when you are separated. If you focus on "saving" your marriage, you are already doomed. You must start over and if you CHOOSE to be together, you will be successful. If you want a book telling you how to "save" your marriage, look elsewhere. But if you want to regain and redifine who you are, this is the book for you.

This is a great book. I really wish I had had it before my husband and I moved into separate homes. I truly think it would have stopped us from reaching that next level. Even after the physical separation, it has really and truly helped me to go through this process in a much more positive manner. I really like the constructive tips and exercises at the end of every chapter. These activities help keep you focused and allow an outlet for the torrent of emotions you feel in a situation like this. The other great thing about this book is that it does not give false promises. This may not work. You may not get back together, but YOU will be better, stronger and more focused anyway. I also appreciated that it did not use purely biblical arguments as the purpose for marriage or reconciliation. This book is worth every penny, even if you are not able to get back together.

This is a good read if the relationship is re-concilible. But you don't want to stay in the Hope Stage. The e-guide I've been recommending to my clients goes thru 6 Stages, leading to the Growth Stage. You can see it on [...]

My wife and I are back together. Although struggling, this book was a great help when I need a great deal of help.

I ordered 4 books at one time ... after months of trying to get them delivered to the right place, I just gave up. I wouldn't purchase from this seller again. Thank you.