Getting to Calm: Cool-Headed Strategies for Parenting Tweens + Teens [Paperback]

Laura S Kastner Ph.D. (Author), Jennifer Wyatt (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: June 1, 2009

Parenting a teenager is tougher than ever, but new brain research offers new insight into the best way to connect with teens. With humor, wisdom and a deep understanding of the teenaged brain, noted teen expert Dr. Laura Kastner shows parents how to stay calm and cool-headed while dealing with hot-button issues everything from rude attitude and lying to sex and substance use -- with clear, easy-to-follow suggestions for setting limits while maintaining a close and loving relationship. Find out why Dr. T. Berry Brazelton calls Getting to Calm required reading for any parent who struggles with their teen!

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Laura S. Kastner, Ph.D., is a clinical associate professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at the University of Washington. A psychologist and mother of two, she writes and lectures widely on adolescence and family behavior. She and Jennifer Wyatt, Ph.D., are the co-authors of three books, including Getting to Calm: Cool-headed Strategies for Parenting Tweens and Teens; The Launching Years: Strategies for Parenting Senior Year to College Life; and The Seven Year Stretch: How families Work Together to Grow Through Adolescence.

Jennifer Wyatt, Ph.D., is a writer and the mother of four. With Laura Kastner, she co-wrote Getting to Calm: Cool-headed Strategies for Parenting Tweens and Teens; The Launching Years: Strategies for Parenting Senior Year to College Life; and The Seven Year Stretch: How Families Work Together to Grow Through Adolescence.

 

Product Details

• Paperback: 304 pages
• Publisher: Parent Map; 1 edition (June 1, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0982345402
• ISBN-13: 978-0982345405
• Product Dimensions: 8.6 x 5.5 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (43 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #3,585 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

64 of 65 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars My most difficult negotiations are at home..., September 30, 2009

By 

Seattle Attorney - See all my reviews

This review is from: Getting to Calm: Cool-Headed Strategies for Parenting Tweens + Teens (Paperback)

Ok, the first thing you need to know is that I'm not a psychologist, or teacher or social worker. I'm a 50-something male attorney on my third teen! The next thing you should know is that this isn't a book I would have picked up at the bookstore on my own. However, since my wife "gently" suggested I read it, I gave it a go. The first chapter struck home ("Why are Today's Teens so Rude?") and I was hooked from there...didn't stop until I finished the last page. The book is full of down to earth, easily understood advice and although it was not intuitive for a 50-something attorney who often falls into debate mode with his kids, I found it incredibly helpful. Highly recommended reading for those looking to steer clear of courtroom drama with their teens!

35 of 35 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Help for parents, July 10, 2009

By 

Margaret R. Tribble "psychologist" (Seattle, WA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Getting to Calm: Cool-Headed Strategies for Parenting Tweens + Teens (Paperback)

Getting to Calm: Cool-Headed Strategies for Parenting Tweens and Teens

This book is quite readable and reasonable. I particularly liked the up-to-the-minute brain information, which explains teen behaviors (and parents', too)in ways that take the moral sting out of negative behaviors. I found the language helpful; for example, "rudeness" is a better description of typical teen behavior than "defiance." And "discipline" is really, at its root, about learning, not punishing. The chapter on entitlement and indulgence is superb.

I have no hesitation in recommending this book for all parents, even if they don't yet have teens!

32 of 32 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Enjoy Life with Your Teenagers, July 27, 2009

By 

HMS Horn "jhorn" (Seattle, WA USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Getting to Calm: Cool-Headed Strategies for Parenting Tweens + Teens (Paperback)

This book would have been a powerful resource for me to have been able to recommend to parents when I was a secondary school teacher for thirty years. In the book the authors say that teachers are experts, and yes, they are a good resource, but this book is amazing. They don't just tell you about strategies; they walk you through conversations between teens and their parents showing not only the content, but also the process, analyzing what each participant's responses. They point out mistakes that parents make and explain what parents should avoid, but also show how to be more successful talking with teenagers.

The book covers so many issues which come up. The chapter, "When You're Fighting About Grades", is just one of many that could be so helpful to all parents. The section titled "Seven Top Tips for Boosting School Achievement" in that chapter offers excellent guidelines as does "The ABC'S of Family Health" in the chapter about getting stressed out. They also deal with drinking, smoking, dating, and the use of electronic devices all while pointing out what it is like to be a teenager.

By the end of the book the reader is shown two scripts where two different fathers take diverse approaches with a daughter who has received a poor progress report. The successful parent shown is "calm, careful and skillful" and as a reader, I felt empowered to use their strategies not only with teenagers, but with any family member. The thought-out careful approach can make all the difference.

I would recommend this book to all parents of teenagers. Would anyone want to miss the section about "More Responsibility for Kids"?