Parenting a teenager is tougher than ever, but new brain research offers new insight into the best way to connect with teens. With humor, wisdom and a deep understanding of the teenaged brain, noted teen expert Dr. Laura Kastner shows parents how to stay calm and cool-headed while dealing with hot-button issues everything from rude attitude and lying to sex and substance use -- with clear, easy-to-follow suggestions for setting limits while maintaining a close and loving relationship. Find out why Dr. T. Berry Brazelton calls Getting to Calm required reading for any parent who struggles with their teen!
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Book Description
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Editorial Reviews
Book Description
Parenting a teenager is tougher than ever, but new brain research offers new insight into the best way to connect with teens. With humor, wisdom and a deep understanding of the teenaged brain, noted teen expert Dr. Laura Kastner shows parents how to stay calm and cool-headed while dealing with hot-button issues everything from rude attitude and lying to sex and substance use -- with clear, easy-to-follow suggestions for setting limits while maintaining a close and loving relationship. Find out why Dr. T. Berry Brazelton calls Getting to Calm required reading for any parent who struggles with their teen!
About the Author
Laura S. Kastner, Ph.D., is a clinical associate professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at the University of Washington. A psychologist and mother of two, she writes and lectures widely on adolescence and family behavior. She and Jennifer Wyatt, Ph.D., are the co-authors of three books, including Getting to Calm: Cool-headed Strategies for Parenting Tweens and Teens; The Launching Years: Strategies for Parenting Senior Year to College Life; and The Seven Year Stretch: How families Work Together to Grow Through Adolescence.
Jennifer Wyatt, Ph.D., is a writer and the mother of four. With Laura Kastner, she co-wrote Getting to Calm: Cool-headed Strategies for Parenting Tweens and Teens; The Launching Years: Strategies for Parenting Senior Year to College Life; and The Seven Year Stretch: How Families Work Together to Grow Through Adolescence.
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Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
95 of 97 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
Ok, the first thing you need to know is that I'm not a psychologist, or teacher or social worker. I'm a 50-something male attorney on my third teen! The next thing you should know is that this isn't a book I would have picked up at the bookstore on my own. However, since my wife "gently" suggested I read it, I gave it a go. The first chapter struck home ("Why are Today's Teens so Rude?") and I was hooked from there...didn't stop until I finished the last page. The book is full of down to earth, easily understood advice and although it was not intuitive for a 50-something attorney who often falls into debate mode with his kids, I found it incredibly helpful. Highly recommended reading for those looking to steer clear of courtroom drama with their teens!
44 of 44 people found the following review helpful
By HMS Horn
Format:Paperback
This book would have been a powerful resource for me to have been able to recommend to parents when I was a secondary school teacher for thirty years. In the book the authors say that teachers are experts, and yes, they are a good resource, but this book is amazing. They don't just tell you about strategies; they walk you through conversations between teens and their parents showing not only the content, but also the process, analyzing what each participant's responses. They point out mistakes that parents make and explain what parents should avoid, but also show how to be more successful talking with teenagers.
The book covers so many issues which come up. The chapter, "When You're Fighting About Grades", is just one of many that could be so helpful to all parents. The section titled "Seven Top Tips for Boosting School Achievement" in that chapter offers excellent guidelines as does "The ABC'S of Family Health" in the chapter about getting stressed out. They also deal with drinking, smoking, dating, and the use of electronic devices all while pointing out what it is like to be a teenager.
By the end of the book the reader is shown two scripts where two different fathers take diverse approaches with a daughter who has received a poor progress report. The successful parent shown is "calm, careful and skillful" and as a reader, I felt empowered to use their strategies not only with teenagers, but with any family member. The thought-out careful approach can make all the difference.
I would recommend this book to all parents of teenagers. Would anyone want to miss the section about "More Responsibility for Kids"?
The book covers so many issues which come up. The chapter, "When You're Fighting About Grades", is just one of many that could be so helpful to all parents. The section titled "Seven Top Tips for Boosting School Achievement" in that chapter offers excellent guidelines as does "The ABC'S of Family Health" in the chapter about getting stressed out. They also deal with drinking, smoking, dating, and the use of electronic devices all while pointing out what it is like to be a teenager.
By the end of the book the reader is shown two scripts where two different fathers take diverse approaches with a daughter who has received a poor progress report. The successful parent shown is "calm, careful and skillful" and as a reader, I felt empowered to use their strategies not only with teenagers, but with any family member. The thought-out careful approach can make all the difference.
I would recommend this book to all parents of teenagers. Would anyone want to miss the section about "More Responsibility for Kids"?
45 of 46 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
Getting to Calm: Cool-Headed Strategies for Parenting Tweens and Teens
This book is quite readable and reasonable. I particularly liked the up-to-the-minute brain information, which explains teen behaviors (and parents', too)in ways that take the moral sting out of negative behaviors. I found the language helpful; for example, "rudeness" is a better description of typical teen behavior than "defiance." And "discipline" is really, at its root, about learning, not punishing. The chapter on entitlement and indulgence is superb.
I have no hesitation in recommending this book for all parents, even if they don't yet have teens!
This book is quite readable and reasonable. I particularly liked the up-to-the-minute brain information, which explains teen behaviors (and parents', too)in ways that take the moral sting out of negative behaviors. I found the language helpful; for example, "rudeness" is a better description of typical teen behavior than "defiance." And "discipline" is really, at its root, about learning, not punishing. The chapter on entitlement and indulgence is superb.
I have no hesitation in recommending this book for all parents, even if they don't yet have teens!
Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars
Parents need help because they are not perfect either.
This was purchased and given to my daughter who has a 13 year old son. She was very appreciative because it helped her understand that she had some work to do in this relationship... Read more
Published 11 days ago by Marie Dash
3.0 out of 5 stars
Getting to Calm - always a good idea
Grandfather, I am, my teenagers are long grown up and now my grandson is a teen. I find these self-help books helpful when read periodically. Getting to C.A.L.M. Read more
Published 19 days ago by Kent Ellis
4.0 out of 5 stars
Recommended by therapist
Not finished. Raising small children is a challenge for older adults. Kids deserve our best and sometimes it is hard to find.
Published 25 days ago by Anita Messenger
5.0 out of 5 stars
Great strategies and examples
I think this book has great strategies and examples for dealing with teens in an even-handed, fair way, that doesn't leave you hung out to dry. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Dramagal
4.0 out of 5 stars
HIghly Recommended
A friend highly recommended this book and although I haven't read it as yet, I am looking forward to reading it for my self.
Published 2 months ago by Merlyn Clarke
4.0 out of 5 stars
Fantastic Book
The author, Dr. Kastner, was kind enough to give a presentation and discussion of this book in my rural, island community. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Meri-Michael Collins
5.0 out of 5 stars
Expections Met
The book was in excellent condition. It was like new except for minimum underlining. I really ordered it for my daughter, who has a 14 year old son and a 13 year old daughter. Read more
Published 3 months ago by Roberta G. Moore
5.0 out of 5 stars
Helpful
I have an almost 14-year-old who's even, low-key personality has turned to Dr. Jekell and Mr. Hyde. I've had this book about a year and it has helped me not loose my mind. Dr. Read more
Published 3 months ago by R. Griffin
5.0 out of 5 stars
Very helpful.
Recognized myself and my kids many times throughout this book...have used the strategies already. So hard not to explode sometimes with 3 teens in the house!
Published 5 months ago by S. Hale
5.0 out of 5 stars
Great Parenting advice and support!
Didn't know we'd ever need a book like this. This really helps parents to understand their teenager is normal, and that other parents have experienced the same thing (we're not... Read more
Published 5 months ago by Karen M. Gear
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